The Gift of Regretting Tenderly

“How to hold regret tenderly: I wish that I would have done that differently, and at the time, I couldn’t”

Syanna Wand

Regrets, we all have them.

Things we shouldn’t have said.

Actions we have taken, things we have believed.

Actions that have caused us dread.

One of the wonderful things about life is that we can grow.

We can learn from our past, our regrets, our sorrows, and plant new growth.

All it takes is a willing spirit and a tender heart.

A willingness to say, “I was wrong.”

Repent, say your prayers, trust in God’s grace.

The willingness of spirit will cause you to embrace.

Embrace the love, embrace the forgiveness, and the source of your regrets.

Trust in the process, God knows best.

Change that regret from a feeling of dread and hold it more tenderly.

As the writer says, find a way to hold on to regret tenderly.

Tell those who need to hear it, you wish that you had more tools at the time.

Now you are older and wiser, and your heart is more kind.

Embrace the spirit to learn, to understand, and to have empathy.

You will see life through a new looking glass.

A glass that is full of sensibility.

Do you ever sit in bed at night counting sheep and thinking of your regrets?

Do you ever sit in bed at night counting sheep and thinking of your regrets? I am sure that we all do. You wish that you could have said something differently. You could have handled a situation differently. You were in a bad mood that day so you were a bit snappy. Someone dear to you caused your great grief and consternation. You are finding it very hard to forgive them.  It is a quandary.

I am convinced that when we are in a surly mood our glasses take on a different shade of sight.

The glass that speak, the glasses that think, the glasses that hear. The glasses that act.

If we reflect on choices when we were younger we wore the glasses of naivety. As we got older, those glasses could be anger, misunderstanding and wrong intentions. In some cases, we had the right intentions and wrong outcome. It is a vicious cycle, is it not? Reflection and regret are necessary parts of life. They help us to be a better version of ourselves. If you are religious, those moments allow you to lean on God’s discernment and grace for future circumstances. Why Regret? It is an uncomfortable feeling that follows you around like a merciless buzzing fly. In Acts 3:19 the scripture tells us to repent (reflect on those regrets) and ask for forgiveness so that times of refreshing can come from the Lord. That time of refreshing can be squashing that all annoying fly that has been circling around. You’ve tried to swat it in many ways but one. Turning to God for his strength and forgiveness.

Easter reminds us of God’s Grace and Mercy to help us clean our Spiritual Glasses

As Easter approaches, it is once again a reminder of God’s grace through his son Jesus. He took our regrets on the cross, our sins, and the sins of others so that we could walk in the newness of faith. How often do we let our glasses get so dirty that we forget he is right there with the cleaner in hand waiting patiently?

The funny thing about us humans? Well, we are a fickle bunch, are we not?

The funny thing about us humans? Well, we are a fickle bunch, are we not? Social media adds to that echo chamber of fickle. It is quite easy to find yourself in a space where the overarching theme is bitterness, unforgiveness, anger, malady, etc.. You name it, it is there. I believe that this little chamber just stirs more grit and dust into your cup of regret. When I was a little one, I loved to water paint. I had those little palettes that you could paint your masterpiece with ease. If you wanted to change the color you just dipped the brush in water. The water became a very cloudy and ugly gray and brown mixture. My brother would try to pass it off as chocolate milk (I am not kidding) and on one occasion I drank it. Well, needless to say it was awful and I spit it out and promptly told my mom. He also did this with finger paint. We had a bucket to wash our hands in. After several dips it inevitably turned brown. Do you know what this mischievous scamp did with it? He made popsicles in ice trays and tried to pass it off as chocolate pops.

Regrets are Like Dirty Finger Painting Water

If you take those regrets (an unforgiveness) they are much like those finger paints. You think about them over and over, the water becomes more and more dirty. When you have reached the end of your rope of anger.. Well, you take a drink. You think this drink will absolve you of your part in the circumstance. It will salve that regret. When you pick up the cup to drink, guess what? It tastes awful. That is why it is so important to practice self reflection. Forgiveness of both yourself and others. Give yourself and others some grace. Don’t let that water get muddy. Try your best to keep it clean. Those regrets are like the mischievous big brother. Once you keep dipping your brush in he will swoop in to try to get you to take a drink. And guess what? You spit it out! Pour out the dirty water, clean your brush, clean your cup, clean your fingers and bucket.. and move on. That clean palette and water will paint a wonderful picture that is worth keeping.

Jesus made all of these colors, water, and tools available by his finished work on the cross.

Jesus made all of these colors, water, and tools available by his finished work on the cross. Start your masterpiece again, if your water gets dirty, this time you won’t drink it. You’ll clean your hands and paint a better picture. It will make all the difference in the world. In the words of David the Psalmist: Selah (Pause and think calmy on the subject.)

Holy Week Services and Easter are streamed online and in person. Please join if you can.

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