The Conundrum of Trusting God. Is It That Hard?

“Faith in God presents a fascinating conundrum. So many of us have faith, but when doubt and unbelief creep in, our faith is the first thing to be compromised.”

John Tesh

I’ve found myself struggling to trust God

As the week starts, I can’t help but take a moment and dwell on the state of the world. I am an American, I am glad that I am. I have children that serve in the US Military. I proudly support them. One of our sons is about to deploy. That will make two kids deployed very soon. I am scared. I am not going to lie. I am worried. It seems as if the world is on fire. 

Worry had taken over

I spend many an afternoon bouncing my leg up and down dwelling on my children, err, adults. I find myself chewing my nails, thinking the worst and then catching myself in that worry. In the Bible, Jesus told us that worry really doesn’t help us. But why do we do it? For me, it is an element of control. I wish I could go and do all the things for my kids. I want to take their deployment and let them have the good life. I want to pay their bills, take on their burdens and make life easier for them than it has been for me. 

Worrying often doesn’t just deprive self

In that worry, I realize I am depriving them of their journey of faith. Also, I am not trusting God in my Christian walk. When you think of the life of David, how many times did he go through the peaks and valleys of faith? One Psalm David is in the depths of despair, in the next he is extolling God for all his goodness to him. 

What can Psalms teach us about trust?

What do the Psalms teach us? I personally believe that Psalms teaches us that we go through the motions of life, we make mistakes, we fall on our face, we worry, we try to take control and inevitably we must out of soul necessity, turn to God for his comfort and guidance. 

I often think of the size of the universe and the tiny speck that is my little corner of the world. Who am I to deserve the grace of God? In that pondering I decided to pull up a picture of the universe and see my little speck. It really is quite tiny. Much like a mustard seed. The size is barely the size of the tip of a pen. Yet God loves us. That gave my spirit a little boost. God thinks so much of us that he comforts us with his spirit. 

Trusting God presents itself often as a conundrum

Trusting God is a conundrum, truly. But if we truly believe we were called for such a time as this we must heed his call to trust him even when it is hard. I’ve mentioned the AI Bible recently in one of my columns, one of their goals is to show just how big God is and how much we can trust him. 

How can I trust when it is difficult?

Do we trust him with our understanding and in all our ways acknowledge him and he to direct our paths? How do we do that when it is hard? Be real with God. I often write what I do to share my daily struggles with folks. I look at those home decor reels, puppy reels, life reels and think, “Their life cannot be that perfect.” The answer is, it is not. Life is messy, we have doubts. We struggle. That is why the conundrum is there for us, to turn our thoughts towards God himself. 

Music often alleviates and explains the Conundrum of worry

As with many thoughts about life my mind turns to music. Have you ever listened to a symphony? There are usually several movements in them. The first movement is often a statement of the intent of the piece. A melody that will recur throughout. As the music continues on, the finger patterns or string patterns become more intricate. The melody weaves in and out in a statement of the musicality of the composer’s heart. 

A piece of music is much like life. Peaks and valleys

As the piece reaches the end of the first movement, the second movement might be more subtle and stayed in its statement of the prevailing melody. It is no less beautiful but a little different. As the piece continues to the final recapitulation of the original theme it is often a grandiose statement of musical intricacies and simplicity all rolled into one. 

Music makes a conundrum make sense

I often think of the conundrum of trusting God in this way. Our lives are a great piece of music, there are times when we walk forth in great fortitude of spirit. Other times we need the simple stayed voice of the Holy Spirit to lead our melody of life. Finally, when you walk in that trust the melody is both grandiose and simple at the same time. God meets us where we are, in our life melody as we need it. Go and play your song of life. It may be in the depths one moment and then on the mountain top next but it is a moment by moment dependence on a life lived in faith. 

I’ve been dwelling a lot in the space of C.S. Lewis recently, one quote that comes to mind. “We trust because not “A God” exists. But because this God exists.