The Art Of Being A Friend: Reason, Season, Or Lifetime

“People are in your life for a reason, a season, or a lifetime.”

I don’t remember if I read this on a greeting card, a meme or what, but it has really stuck with me and helped me understand so much. For most of my younger life I wandered around wondering why friends I thought would be friends for life were no longer there for me. I had this idea in my head that if someone was truly a friend, they would be there for life.

The fact is, there are many different levels of friendships and relationships

Friends fishing — Friends come in all different shapes and sizes.

The fact is, there are many different levels of friendships and relationships and if people were more accepting of this fact, they would ultimately be much happier. If people were more honest with one another and more clearly defined what their relationship was, it would save a lot of misunderstanding and heartache. If people would learn to move on from a relationship that was over, they would be better off; learn what there was to learn from it, but move on.

All the people that come into your life just are not going to be friends for your whole life, and that is OK, those kind of friendships are rare. If you have one person in your life who is friends with you for life, you are truly blessed. Those types of friendships are usually between a married couple who stay together for life.

Know the value of just being a friend.

Know the value of just being a friend. Why is it that every opposite sex relationship thinks they have to be boyfriend/girlfriend? Why can’t we just have guys that are good friends and girls that are good friends? Even a marriage relationship needs to have a strong foundation of friendship. What is a friend anyway? Well, it is a person you know and with whom you have a bond of mutual affection. Friendship is exclusive of sexual or family relations. Although your spouse should be your best friend, still your friendship should have nothing to do with sexual relations. And as far as family, yes, you may have a friend who is also related to you but even then your friendship should not have anything to do with being related to them. These two explanations are what I mean by ‘Friendship is exclusive of sexual or family relations’. Don’t undervalue friendship, both having friends and being a good friend.

Let’s look at the different kinds of friendships:

THE SOCIAL FRIEND: This is the kind of friend that most people have the most of. This kind of friend is not someone who you hang out with all the time or live with, but you know them and associate with them at a bar, church, store, or some other public place. Friends you have that have moved far away fall under this category. They are nice to talk to when you see them and are usually good for a laugh. They are not good for sharing a problem with. Sometimes you leave wishing you had hung around together more, but that just isn’t this kind of friend. Just accept your relationship for what it is.
THE COUNSELOR: This is a friend you go to when you need advice or just someone to listen. You value their wisdom, or at least the fact that they are good listeners and empathize with you. You can tell this kind of friend almost anything without fear of gossip or condemnation. They are the kind of friend you can trust, but you just don’t hang out together, unless you want to talk about something important. And these kind of friends are so important. They tell us the truth about ourselves. They tell us what we need to hear. You don’t want a friend that just tells you that you you are right all the time, that’s not a friend at all.
FUN BOY/GIRL: This kind of friend can usually be counted on to go somewhere with you at a moment’s notice. They like hanging out with you, whether it is going to the store or a bar, or whatever. They are good tension relievers because you know you are just going to have a good time, let your hair down, maybe even be a little crazy. This kind of friend is not the kind of friend you go to for advice; in fact, you should not put a damper on your relationship by getting serious with them about something. They are trustworthy and you know they aren’t going to gossip about what you do together. Don’t expect anything else from this kind of friend; just have a good time.
SPIRITUAL BROTHER/SISTER: This kind of friend is most often found in churches, but not always. This kind of friend is someone who is fun to be around, but not like Fun Boy/Girl. It is a more laid-back relationship that you can sit around with them at home and talk about God, family, or spiritual matters. This kind of friend will pray for you and even help you out on a project or a loan, or something. You can’t really cut loose like you can with Fun Boy/Girl, but it is good to have this kind of friend when you just don’t want to be too wild but want to have a good time. This is the kind of friend that you just leave with a ‘warm, fuzzy feeling’. This friend leaves you with a fulfilled feeling. They make you feel good about yourself. They are sometimes good for sharing things with, like The Counselor, but usually they just are a pleasure to know.
WORK FRIENDS: These are the friends that you have at work. You interact at work only. This may include going to break together, maybe even shopping with them, or running an errand during lunch or after work. They are usually not good to get advice from, but on some occasions, things might be discussed and you give each other advice. Mostly, though, you talk about the job, family and other friends.
LIFETIME FRIEND: This friendship is very rare and as I said usually is found in marriage relationships that stay together for life. This friend is all the above all rolled up in one.

What Does The Bible Say About Friendship?

The Bible has this to say about friendship: “A good friend loves at all times and a brother is born for adversity.”(Proverbs 17:17). In other words they are there for you no matter what. I found out who my true friends were when I became a Christian and several of my so-called friends dropped me like a hot potato. All through my life people that I thought were my friends weren’t there when I needed them most. When I was going through cancer and needed a friend I found out how many true friends I had. Look at what the Word has to say about the value of friendship: “A man that hath friends must shew himself friendly: and there is a friend that sticks closer than a brother.” (Proverbs 18:24) “Faithful are the wounds of a friend; but the kisses of an enemy are deceitful.” (Proverbs 27:6) “Iron sharpens iron; so a man sharpens the countenance of his friend.” (Proverbs 27:17). 1 Samuel 18:1 describes the friendship of Jonathan and David being so strong that their ‘souls were knit together’. These are the type of human relations we should desire on all levels, whether friend or spouse.

So remember, people enter our lives for a “reason, a season, or a lifetime.” By embracing the diverse nature and varying depths of relationships—from social acquaintances and fun-loving companions to trusted counselors and spiritual confidantes—we can foster greater happiness and avoid unnecessary heartache. Recognizing that true lifetime friendships are rare and often found in the deepest bonds, like marriage, allows us to appreciate each connection for what it is, valuing the unique role every individual plays in our journey, and learning to move on gracefully when a particular season of a relationship concludes. Ultimately, I just want to encourage you to be good friends, understand the various forms friendship takes, and cherish the profound impact these connections have, as echoed by timeless biblical wisdom.

Laws Of Attraction
By Benjamin Raven Pressley

“Bad company corrupts good morals.” (1 Corinthians 15:33)

“As a person thinks in their heart, so are they.” (Proverbs 23:7)

I am an observer of people. I have a little psychology background, but mostly I am a ‘student of people’. You can learn a lot by watching other people. You can learn from others’ mistakes if you are wise and choose not to make the same mistakes they made. One thing I have observed for a long time, though, is that you can tell a lot about a person by looking at the kind of people they hang out with. And I am amazed at the people who can’t figure out why they have such miserable lives when all they hang out with are losers and bad influences. Lowering the bar in your life will only attract a lower class of people. Set your standard high and that is the class of people you will attract. Whether people consciously observe you or not, you can bet people around you notice you. They look at the way you dress, the way you talk, the way you carry yourself and the people you hang out with. Like it or not, if you are smart, you will be the person you really want to attract. If you want to attract losers, takers and abusers, then hang out with losers, takers and abusers…but don’t blame anyone but yourself if that is all you attract. Any successful business person will tell you that part of the reason for their success is hanging out with successful people. They watch people who are modeling a certain characteristic and they become more and more like they want to be. You can’t get anywhere good or worthwhile hanging out with negative people. They will drain you and still demand more.

Here are some valuable tips:

Take time to assess your life objectively every now and then. Just step back and think what you would say to yourself if you were another person.
Constructively be hard enough on yourself to help yourself.
Honestly assess who your ‘friends’ are. And clean house! Get bad influences and negativity out of your life.
Know your worth. Believe in yourself and your worth.
Say no to some people who are draining you.
Set some boundaries so people respect you.
Don’t enable and reward bad behavior from your children or your so-called friends.
Break the cycle. Get off the crazy train. Drama will drain you. Get drama out of your life. Sometimes that requires moving, quitting a job, or ending draining relationships.
Do what you have to do. Be wise, be objective, and make sure what you are doing is the right thing to do.
Be harshly honest with yourself.
Get advice from experts or wise people if needed.
Make plans, then burn the bridges and move on. Now, I hope you know I’m not talking about abandoning dependent young children or anything. Weigh out and be wise, but when it comes down to it, do what you need to do.
Stop letting people and your bad life choices hold you back. You will attract who you act like.
Stop blaming everything and everyone in life for your misery and figure out what YOU can do to change things.

I hope you find these tips useful. Maybe you have few to add yourself. There does seem to be a law of attraction so beware and choose wisely who you allow in your life. Learn to step back and assess a relationship objectively. Show me who your friends are and I can predict what your future will be like.

“The Sleepwalker is neither evil or good in as much as we understand the meanings of these words. Yet as the fire can burn you though it be your friend so is this Sleepwalker neutral until he comes too close and he weakens you when he is near. He often appears when there has been peace for long periods of time and people have become complacent. He will walk among those whom are nodding on the edges of spiritual sleep, lulled to sleep by their own illusion of some comfort zone they have surrounded themselves with. As the Creator spoke long ago, ‘Let not your blades dull and rust in times of peace for the enemy is always near waiting for you to fall asleep in the arms of false security’. This makes the Sleepwalker neither bad or good for his coming near can be a warning to rise up and be alert or he has the right or perhaps I should say an opening, to close your eyes. Should he take your strength, should he rock you to sleep with his presence, beware for when you awaken you may not recognize the world you awaken in. It is his sleep that you may not awaken from at all and by doing so indirectly you invite the enemy to your camp.”