Are there Stars Upon Thar’s?

I had traveled all day to some far away beaches,

To visit and talk with my cousins, the Sneetches.

Some serious matters I wanted to share,

A Craft concern, requiring delicate care.

So I headed to where the Sneetches were gathered,

Hoping to benefit from Elder palaver.

I popped up to the suite to share some elevensies,

Surprised to discover I had entered the ’70’s!

I greeted the folks that were milling inside,

And picked up the schedule, the programming guide.

Two events were upcoming, and one had just passed.

I inquired where could I sign up for next class?

I am sorry, no more admittance today.

Only some Sneetches were invited to play.

You are not on the list, apologies dear.

Although you presented your book here, last year.

I blinked and looked sideways, confused as can be.

Completely Sneetched up, levels 1,2, and 3.

Doors opened, folks asked me, “Why weren’t you in here?”

Born on the wrong side of the blanket, I fear.

Then a high ranking member among Sneetches,

(this one was wearing some very big breeches)

Nodded to me as he headed out the door,

(We circled in Germany a decade before.)

My friend said, “Don’t worry, solve this with a switch.

The only solution is to get re-Witched!”

No thank you, I said. Your intentions are kind.

That invitation I politely decline.

This is not my first Frankfurter Party,

Exclusive only to Star-Bellied Smarties.

I have traveled quite far to exotic shores.

Circling with interesting Sneetches before.

Admittance is simple, requires just 3 things:

“Did you do certain things while singing the sings?

Most importantly, did you kiss everyone’s rings?

If you did, Merry Meet! Let’s ALL do the things!”

Now some folks would say that you can’t teach a Sneetch,

To recognize that we are from the same beach.

Now teaching a Sneetch is not easily done,

Though progress is made when the lesson is fun.

One day the old Smarties will look all around,

And notice that only gray heads can be found.

They may say, “My goodness, now what have we done?

Our club’s so exclusive, now no one will come!”

Meanwhile, in the future, on sunny beaches,

We will be dancing with renegade Sneetches.

Regardless of whether our bellies are bare,

We will laugh, sing, make merry, and no one will care.

*Side note:  While my belly does not have a star on it, there is another part of my anatomy that does bear this sacred mark.

For those who object to the sentiment of this satirical post, feel free to offer an amusing forfeit in the form of a Devil’s kiss if you can guess where it’s located.