Often when I talk about issues I see within the church or organize religion, I get an immediate response especially from pastors and those heavily invested in the church. They respond to me like they have never heard of that in a church and that must be your unique, individual situation.
But, since my deconstruction, I have met hundreds of people that have the same experience that I did within the church and we’re never able to see it until they were outside of organized religion.
Why is this?
When someone challenged me to take a year off from organized religion, at first I couldn’t imagine it. Even though I was in the state of dismay, I immediately started attending another church because I wasn’t officially pastoring, so I figured that was enough. But before long, the pressures came back and I knew I had to completely disengage.
Not immediately, but after a short while being totally disengaged from the local church, I began to see it more clearly and the stories people told me outside the walls resonated with my story as well. So why couldn’t I see it inside?
I recently listened to a podcast mentioned below that helped with an analogy. It is the analogy of a fish standing on the edge of the water. The water represents the environment we are in. When we are in the water, we can’t necessarily see the water because it is too close.
Many of my friends that are ex-pastors now view organized religion as somewhat of an abusive environment. Some of them have deep regrets for the things they taught and how they taught them. But they also have found healing and a way forward outside of the westernized church.
The reason they were able to see more clearly is because once removed from the water they could view it more clearly. It wasn’t so close that they couldn’t see it.
Cindy Wang Brandt challenged Laura and I that if we could not take a year off, then we should question why we cannot. What are the ties that are keeping you in organized religion? Is it shame, or guilt, or are you addicted to the feel good aspects that has been designed to make you feel good? Is it too close for you to see?
I encourage you to take a step back and see more clearly.
Be where you are. Be who you are,
Karl Forehand
Developed from a Podcast called “Like a Fish, Standing on the Beach” by Rob Bell
Order Being: A Journey Toward Presence and Authentic
Karl Forehand is a former pastor, podcaster, and award-winning author. His books include Apparent Faith: What Fatherhood Taught Me About the Father’s Heart and The Tea Shop. He is the creator of The Desert Sanctuary podcast. He is married to his wife Laura of 32 years and has one dog named Winston. His three children are grown and are beginning to multiply!
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