Keep Asking Questions
My deconstruction started with a simple thought that God could handle my questions and it was OK to ask. I did not start with a presupposition; I just started to notice the obvious and kept asking questions. I MADE SOME AMAZING DISCOVERIES when I discovered that a compassionate, loving father would not withhold relevant, important information from me.
It is important to understand that what I discovered was often painful and hard to transition through, but I believe it was all worth it. If those in spiritual leadership explain away things that are hard to understand, I would recommend leaving that institution or that relationship because it is not helping you. It’s probably going to stall your evolution and enlightenment.
Only someone trying to control you would ask you to trust them when they don’t know the answers.
A noble guide will admit, “I don’t know, but let’s explore it.”
Keep Asking Questions – A Couple of Examples
We need you to give so that we can update the sound system ($100,000)
Why do we need a new sound system?
Because we have this large building and the old one is outdated.
Why do we need this huge building?
Well, first, because we already have it, it’s a place where people can meet with God.
Isn’t God everywhere?
Yes, but this is his temple.
Aren’t our bodies the temple?
Either way, God is here!
Isn’t God everywhere?
We also need fellowship with believers.
Can’t we do that anywhere without a sound system or a building?
***
We need you to give more money to the church so we can help the poor and stuff like that.
Is it true that only 5 to 10% of what we give goes to those ministries?
We do have to support our pastors and staff, and we need a place to meet.
Wouldn’t it be more efficient to give it straight to the people needing it?
But we, as your leaders, must oversee those types of ministries.
What kind of training do you have to oversee those things?
Well, we provide spiritual oversight.
Can’t I also discern spiritual things?
Well…err…we have been selected as your spiritual leaders.
Wasn’t it us who selected you to be our pastor?
Well, it was God working through you.
So, God works through us only when it benefits you?
***
You should be in a good church often!
Who said?
Forsake not the assembling, dude!
But why can’t I assemble at a coffee shop with my friends? Wouldn’t that be easier?
Jesus wants you to be with like-minded believers.
Again, couldn’t that be anywhere, and didn’t Jesus say not to meet in a building?
He was talking about spirit and truth, and the Spirit is here!
Isn’t the spirit everywhere, according to the Bible?
You need to be with your family.
Isn’t this a horrible example of a family?
Well, none of us are perfect. That is why we need each other.
I have several friends who are like family and a real family. Isn’t that enough?
Well, not everyone has friends and family.
But how do they nurture relationships while listening to a concert and hearing someone speak TO them?
We also have fellowship events and fellowship time.
Yeah, but isn’t that just 30 seconds before offering and once a quarter at the potluck?
We are planning some things like Trunk or Treat to bring people together.
But doesn’t that make it harder for those people to develop relationships in their own communities
when you are creating a faux community for them?
It’s a safe place to fellowship.
Then why so many allegations of abuse and trauma?
These are simple and tame examples of the questions you will eventually have to ask. Since people are generally frightened when they find answers they weren’t expecting, sometimes they stop and stay where they are. If that is you, I understand because all of us were there.
It is true that when you start asking questions, it’s like a sweater that starts to unravel, and it can be very unnerving when that happens. Eventually, you will find something like what people have warned you about. The frightening thing is that our identity is embedded in our beliefs.
But you will also find that the things that are left are the true things. We usually find our faith through sorting through the box of beliefs and practices that we inherited. It wasn’t ever true to begin with. It was just the unanswered questions of our predecessors. They found a level of understanding that they could live with and avoided the hard work of moving forward.
Keep Asking Questions
Be where you are, be who you are, be at peace.
Karl Forehand
Barbie Gets Revenge on Greg Locke
Karl Forehand is a former pastor, podcaster, and award-winning author. His books include Out into the Desert, Leaning Forward, Apparent Faith: What Fatherhood Taught Me About the Father’s Heart, The Tea Shop and Being: A Journey Toward Presence and Authenticity. He is the creator of The Desert Sanctuary podcast and community. He is married to his wife Laura of 35 years and has one dog named Winston. His three children are grown and are beginning to multiply! You can read more about the author here
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