In my post on Iowa discovering same sex marriage, I gave credit to the adoption industry for causing a further reduction in the recognition of the intrinsic relationship between biological parents and children. Some have taken that statement to be by logical extension a condemnation of adoption. I believe that all efforts should be taken so that a child can remain with his birth mother or father. I do not believe adoption is value neutral. Such is not to say that adoption cannot be an improvement over the present situation.
This is called a second best solution. There is nothing wrong with second best solutions as long as they are not confused with the ideal. Much of life is filled with them. Some second best solutions are more benign than others. Adoption, particularly that form represented by the adoption industry, is not one of them. There are two adoption markets, infant and post-infant. The number of children in the latter category is often used to justify some rather egregious practices in the former category. In particular, there is a pattern in the 3rd world of countries becoming a “hot market” for adoption, abuses occurring, governments severely restricting access to foreigners wanting to adopt, and then people complaining that they can’t get a baby.
At the more local level there are also problems as well. Much like AIDS activists in Africa think the condom will solve what is a social problem and not a technology problem, teenage pregnancy advocates think adoption and contraceptives will take care of the social problem of misdirected sexual energy. Feel ashamed over getting pregnant when having no visible means of emotional or financial support? Anonymous 3rd party adoption is for you. That’s not good enough? Open adoption with 3rd party strangers is then the route for you. You, the teenaged girl, are serving a vital market function. It is almost a good thing in a way that you have this problem. You, the teenage girl, will be happy because your problem will be solved – in adoption we are allowed to acknowledge the teenage pregnancy is a problem to be addressed whereas if the question regards abortion we are most ostensibly not addressing a problem but not correctly identifying a blessing – the adopting family will be able to have the joy of children, and the child will live happily ever after. It’s really simple. Exchange parents A and B for parents C and D, and we have a happy child and better yet a better functioning society. It’s the transitive property for crying aloud. Math at its purest and finest. Has science ever steered us wrong?
The only problem is that we are dealing with human beings. Those with children already know that their happiness is not a guarantee by just showing up. These problems also show up with adoption. You have parents that regret giving up their children. You have children that feel rejected. With older children, you have adoptive parents that figure out that the child can’t be shaped and molded into their own image. With cross border adoptions, you often find cultural identity issues. Many children of course will turn out perfectly fine despite the experience. Many, but fewer, kids turn out okay from households where drug abuse and alcoholism are present. This is so much the case that the State will often prefer attempting to make the parents better rather than face the consequences of permanently removing children from that environment.
I write all of this as kind of preface to the argument. There are a lot of people that seem to think that adoption is all roses and no thorns. Adoption has trade-offs, and the trade-offs are not trivial. We are still going to have the problems of child abandonment, parents dying, or parents simply being unfit. Ideally, the extended family – aunts, uncles, grandparents, or cousins – is able to step in and provide the support needed to raise the child. Barring that, adoption is certainly an act of love that fulfills a real need, a second best solution. However when adoption no longer is an act of love but just a 3rd party service, we run into a real problem. It becomes about the parents needs. In as much as the adoption industry has stopped primary concerning itself with the best interests of children, it has been a contributor to the problem.
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