Unpleasant Truth For Today

Writing on the engagement of online personalities Peter Suderman and Megan McArdle, the psuedonymous The Man From K Street writes:

How should they get married? This afternoon. At the Arlington County Courthouse.

No, I don’t really care if they do or not. But seriously–this is supposed to be a blog that gets all judgmental and stern about societal trends re: cohabitation and/or delayed marriage. Suddenly we can’t muster any criticism about two folks who have been shacked up for almost a year because, unlike blue-collar Wasilla types or drugged-out C-list celebrities, they are “our kind of people”?

Let’s not get hypocritical here, people.

The man has a point. As a side note, I know for sure Ms. McArdle doesn’t identify as a religious conservative. I’m not as familiar with Mr. Suderman, and therefore I won’t offer speculation. For that matter, I won’t make further mention of either of them. Over the past couple years I have been invited as a guest or to participate in two weddings where the couples had living together. In one case the couple had been living together almost as long as we had been married.

When I come across this, I’m more relieved than anything else. Marriage is a milestone. Much like a baptism, I don’t really care about your struggles getter there (obviously assuming an adult baptism): you become a Christian on that day, and that is what’s important. The only time I ever really object is if someone gets defensive and claims they’ve been married longer than my wife and me, if you include the years dating. (Since my wife and I have enjoyed 9 years of bliss now, I hear more the variation, it’s like we have been really married 3, 4, 5, or however many years.) My reply is always the same. No, you have been married x years. People who speak of their long discernments prior to marriage are often like 7-year bachelor degree candidates, they want credit for something they haven’t earned. And just like taking 7 years rather than 4 years to get your engineering degree isn’t a signal that you are more desirous to be an engineer, taking your time to get to an engagement isn’t a sign of maturity. Likewise, playing house during prior to your marriage isn’t a sign of maturity or signal for its likelihood of success. Well, actually it’s a counter signal.