Loneliness Is A Kind Of Poverty Which Must Also Be Addressed

Loneliness Is A Kind Of Poverty Which Must Also Be Addressed

Following Holy Scripture, Catholic Social Teaching consistently declares it a Christian duty for the faithful to work with, engage, and help the poor. “In seeking to promote human dignity, the Church shows a preferential love of the poor and the voiceless, because the Lord has identified himself with them in a special way (cf. Mt 25:40). This love excludes no one, but simply embodies a priority of service to which the whole Christian tradition bears witness.”[1] 

There are many ways one can be classified among the poor. Spiritually, we are all poor. By ourselves, closed off from God, our life is one of suffering, and if we keep to ourselves and push God and others away, we will at last we end in hell. We all need God’s grace. Without it, life can be and is miserable. It is for this reason we who have grace are to go out and be the bearers of that grace to others; we are called to help people experience the richness of God’s bounty. It is not ours to posses, but to share; if we try to lock it up in ourselves, and hide it from the world, it will be taken away from us.[2] Materially, we can be poor. This, of course, is a major concern of Catholic Social Teaching, because Catholics recognize the fact that we are incarnate beings, and our integral good is important. Our physical, worldly situation cannot be neglected; those who are involuntarily suffering from the effects of material poverty tend to find their spiritual life impoverished. They will focus on material necessities, in doing what it takes to live and breathe another day, and so will have little to no time or energy to focus on spiritual needs. Indeed, they will have little real opportunity for spiritual meditation, even if they wanted it, because they often need goods for such meditation, goods which cost money they do not have to obtain them. But there is another, often neglected, way that one can be poor: one can be socially poor, lacking not only voice in the world, but the camaraderie which is necessary for a happy life. Loneliness is a struggle which affects many, even those materially wealthy, and it is a kind of poverty which requires aid from others to overcome. Human existence is relational, but loneliness occurs when social relations are lacking, causing people to suffer grievous sorrow because of their isolation. More importantly, such people often are incapable of knowing what to do to change their situation; if they had others to help guide them away from their loneliness, they would not be lonely. And so they must find such people themselves, but, without knowing how, they will always end up with the same result: alone, often depressed. 

Despite all of its gadgets geared for communication, modern life is, for many, if not most people, increasingly lonely. The reason why so many try to find ways to communicate with each other through extraordinary, electronic means is because normal, daily, communal events are lacking. People feel the need to deal with their lack of social relations, and the digital world offers what appears to be an outlet where those social needs can be met. But it is all so fake, all so artificial; it’s a “diet”, carefree kind of communication; all the external attributes of dialogue without any of the nutrients. It’s disassociated from the real world, from our bodily existence, and promotes a rather gnostic, purely intellectual, withdraw from the world, while looking for a spiritual, bodiless form of communion with others. “The day-to-day world that is now awash with flickering images on computer monitors, television sets, and movie theater screens can dull awareness regarding the importance of real presence in real bodies.[3]And, because we are incarnate beings with physical as well as spiritual needs, even in our relationship with others, it is obvious way such incorporeal, bodiless communication leads to a greater divide between people. While there might, at first, be a sense that one’s loneliness is being dealt with, if imperfectly, it is not enough. What at first appears to be working is not, and so people continue to push forward, more and more, with such bodiless communication, leading them to a kind of high when engaging it, but a new, worse low when it is over – proving how and why the digital world and all of its enticements can and does lead to addiction. It promises much, and people get a sense through instant gratification that those promises can be met; but it never gives what is needed. It gives just enough to entice, but not enough to nourish. So people press on, trying to get more and more out of such communication until, at last, they are worse off than they were before, and trapped even more in their lonely state of affairs.  

Even when Adam was seen walking with God, God saw Adam needed someone else, another person, to interact with, to help him in daily life, to bring him to completion. “Then the LORD God said, ‘It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper fit for him’” (Gen. 2:18). It is for this reason why one cannot just rely upon one’s walk with God as the way out of loneliness. While there might be exceptional people, hermits, called for such endeavors, it is not the norm, and usually such a calling has special graces attached to it so that the hermit can deal with their temporary lot in life – and even they, in the end, are known by the people of God and find companionship in others, even if it is from just one other co-worker of God, like in the story of St Mary of Egypt.[4] Our nature, made in the image and likeness of God, a God who exists as three persons united in love. We are made for communion with others, even as the persons of the Holy Trinity exist in eternal communion. By nature, we experience the need to reach out to others in love and to be bonded to them in that love. “How beautiful is it that the second human being was taken from the side of the first, so that nature might teach that human beings are equal and, as it were, collateral, and that there is in human affairs neither a superior nor an inferior, a characteristic of true friendship. Hence, nature from the very beginning implanted the desire for friendship and charity in the heart of man, a desire which an inner sense of affection soon increased with a taste of sweetness.”[5] 

What a great discord loneliness creates within the human person because it cuts the person off from his or her very being. Communion with others is inherent in who we are; it is part of the human essence, analogous to the way it is in the Divine Trinity. By working with each other, we become stronger, and we find the needs of daily life can be met. “Two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their toil. For if they fall, one will lift up his fellow; but woe to him who is alone when he falls and has not another to lift him up. Again, if two lie together, they are warm; but how can one be warm alone? And though a man might prevail against one who is alone, two will withstand him. A threefold cord is not quickly broken” (Eccl. 4:9-12). Sin and egoism create the barriers which trap us in ourselves, and prevent us from living our nature out to its proper end. We live life unnaturally, and expect such an unnatural state of affairs will lead to happiness. But it cannot. The only thing it leads to is self-made misery, hell . Obviously, because of the fallen mode of earthly existence, the fault lies beyond one person, but with all; and one who could be reaching out for communion could be cut off, not from what they have done, but from what others fail to do to reach out to them. That is when loneliness becomes tragedy. 

While there are people who might, voluntarily, be called to poverty, when it is thrust upon them from outside, their ability to cope with it is different. Their suffering should not be ignored. People could do great harm if they tell those who are impoverished, in whatever sense of impoverishment we mean, that they just need to accept their lot in life, have faith and God, and all will be well. We are called to meet them where they are at and help them, and not just leave them be, expecting God to take care of them. The normal agency of God’s providence in the world is human people, us, and for us to tell someone to wait for and rely upon an extraordinary act of God to deal with their difficulties is to dismiss the responsibility Jesus has placed upon us for being his disciples. We prove ourselves his not by the words we say, but by the actions we take in the world (cf. Matt. 25:31 – 46). Doing as Jesus commands is the only credible proof of our love, “He who has my commandments and keeps them, he it is who loves me” (John 14:21a).Thus, there is no excuse; Christians are called to reach out and help the littlest ones of God’s kingdom, the poor, the suffering, the oppressed, the voiceless, wherever they are at; we must raise them up and put them at the center of our social action. That is what is expected of us, and the time is ripe for us to finally meet those expectations.

Footnotes

[1] John Paul II, Ecclesia in Asia, no. 34.
[2] Two parables are pertinent here. First is the parable of the unjust servant: “”Therefore the kingdom of heaven may be compared to a king who wished to settle accounts with his servants. When he began the reckoning, one was brought to him who owed him ten thousand talents; and as he could not pay, his lord ordered him to be sold, with his wife and children and all that he had, and payment to be made.  So the servant fell on his knees, imploring him, ‘Lord, have patience with me, and I will pay you everything.’ And out of pity for him the lord of that servant released him and forgave him the debt.  But that same servant, as he went out, came upon one of his fellow servants who owed him a hundred denarii; and seizing him by the throat he said, ‘Pay what you owe.’  So his fellow servant fell down and besought him, ‘Have patience with me, and I will pay you.’ He refused and went and put him in prison till he should pay the debt. When his fellow servants saw what had taken place, they were greatly distressed, and they went and reported to their lord all that had taken place.  Then his lord summoned him and said to him, ‘You wicked servant! I forgave you all that debt because you besought me; and should not you have had mercy on your fellow servant, as I had mercy on you?’ And in anger his lord delivered him to the jailers, till he should pay all his debt.  So also my heavenly Father will do to every one of you, if you do not forgive your brother from your heart” (Matthew 18:23 – 35). Here, we do not want to be like the unjust servant: just as we are given the bounty of God’s grace, and raised up beyond our spiritual poverty, so we should treat those who are indebted to us with a similar kind of grace, helping them to overcome the limitation of their situation. If we are harsh on them, we will see that the grace once given to us can be revoked; when this happens, we will be sent back, worse than before.

There is also the parable of the talents: “For it will be as when a man going on a journey called his servants and entrusted to them his property; to one he gave five talents, to another two, to another one, to each according to his ability. Then he went away. He who had received the five talents went at once and traded with them; and he made five talents more.  So also, he who had the two talents made two talents more. But he who had received the one talent went and dug in the ground and hid his master’s money. Now after a long time the master of those servants came and settled accounts with them. And he who had received the five talents came forward, bringing five talents more, saying, ‘Master, you delivered to me five talents; here I have made five talents more.’ His master said to him, ‘Well done, good and faithful servant; you have been faithful over a little, I will set you over much; enter into the joy of your master.’ And he also who had the two talents came forward, saying, ‘Master, you delivered to me two talents; here I have made two talents more.’  His master said to him, ‘Well done, good and faithful servant; you have been faithful over a little, I will set you over much; enter into the joy of your master.’ He also who had received the one talent came forward, saying, ‘Master, I knew you to be a hard man, reaping where you did not sow, and gathering where you did not winnow; so I was afraid, and I went and hid your talent in the ground. Here you have what is yours.’ But his master answered him, ‘You wicked and slothful servant! You knew that I reap where I have not sowed, and gather where I have not winnowed?  Then you ought to have invested my money with the bankers, and at my coming I should have received what was my own with interest. So take the talent from him, and give it to him who has the ten talents. For to every one who has will more be given, and he will have abundance; but from him who has not, even what he has will be taken away. And cast the worthless servant into the outer darkness; there men will weep and gnash their teeth’” (Matthew 25:14 – 30). If we take the grace given to us, and do not try to make it grow, but rather hide it up in ourselves and do not let it expand, as is natural for grace, we will find that it will vanish due to that negligence. Once rich we will once again find ourselves in a state of extreme spiritual poverty.

[3]Mary Timothy Prokes, At The Interface: Theology and Virtual Reality (Tucson, AZ: Fenestra Books, 2004), 69.
[4] Most hermits become hermits for a temporary period, to prepare them for some greater work of God; it is a means, not an ends. They go through a kind of spiritual warfare, putting themselves in touch with an aspect of Christ’s life (either his time in the desert, or, his descent into hades), so that, at the end of their struggle, having matured in the faith, they can reach out and help God’s precious people with the wisdom and strength they have gained from their hermitage.
[5]St Aelred of Rievalux, Spiritual Friendship. Trans. Mary Eugenia Laker (Kalamazoo, MI: Cistercian Publications, 1977), 63.


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