Exceptionalism Can Be Exceptionally Harmful

Do we harbor an innate sense of superiority?

In recent weeks, I have been writing about exceptionalism. I challenged the bright line between humans and other animals here. I discussed the bright line between humans and machines here. And I questioned the bright lines between other countries and religions here.

If we think that we are better than other animals, will we treat them better or worse? If we think that we are better than people in other countries and religions, will we treat them better or worse? How can we treat people and other animals with compassion and wisdom if we harbor an innate sense of superiority?

When I was a Catholic, I thought that Catholics had it right, and everyone else had it wrong. Today, I belong to several different spiritual communities. I realize that religions are like languages. And we are all trying to make sense of the same Universe through different beliefs and practices.

Also, I realize that spirituality does NOT require a belief in a personal god, supernaturalism or an intentional Universe.

Is Christianity a “Bully” Religion?

Recently, I was on a Zoom call with several deconstructing Christians, and they called out Christian exceptionalism. When one person observed, “Christianity is a ‘bully’ religion,” most agreed.

I never bullied anyone. Until my beliefs strayed far from the conventional norms, no one in religion ever bullied me, either. But that changed. Hopefully, organized religion has provided clarity, comfort and community for you. If so, that’s great. Sadly, one-third of us have experienced religious trauma in some form.

Since leaving organized religion, angry and judgmental Christians have given me Bibles, prayed over me and told me that I was going to hell. Thanks, but the Bible is no longer so important to me. I no longer believe in a personal god. And I no longer believe in heaven or hell (or reincarnation) either. Passive-aggressive scare tactics are NOT helpful to anyone.

Some people who evangelize others claim to be well-meaning. However, in many traditions, helping someone who does not want to be helped can be seen as an act of disrespect (or even violence).  You might ask, “Why are you singling out Christians? Don’t other faiths bully people?” No, I have never been bullied by a Buddhist, a Hindu, a Jew or a Muslim. That has NOT been my experience.

Most people are respectful and non-violent. Most people can agree to disagree. They know that all theology is speculation. You might say, “All religions are doctrinal, exclusive, and evangelical.” No, other traditions have welcomed me, without reservation. Have other traditions excluded you? That has NOT been my experience.

Is This a Dialogue or a Monologue?

Although I am NOT religious, I am deeply spiritual. For me, that means that I realize that everyone is related and everything is connected. I am naturally curious how other traditions embody that. Many traditions, including Christianity, believe that we should treat others as we would like to be treated ourselves. The nondual traditions go even further, saying, “There are no others.”

I enjoy discussing spiritual matters with curious, respectful, and non-violent people. Exploring other perspectives and traditions has expanded my horizons.

One day, I was walking in the park, and a stranger asked me if we could talk about Jesus. “Sure,” I responded. “I’m a follower of Jesus myself, and I always like to talk about Jesus.” Well, he did NOT want to talk about Jesus (whom I care about a lot). Instead, he wanted to discuss his beliefs about Jesus (which, respectfully, I do NOT care about nearly as much).

As we parted, he said, “Before we meet again, you should read All of Grace by Charles Spurgeon.” Thanks, I will. You should read the Bhagavad Gita or the Tao Te Ching. “Thanks,” he replied.

When we met next, he asked, “Did you read All of Grace?” Of course, I told you that I would. Did you read the Bhagavad Gita or the Tao Te Ching? “Of course NOT, I never told you that I would. I’m NOT interested in learning about other traditions.”  Well, what are we supposed to talk about?!? Why should I be interested in your tradition if you are NOT interested in mine?

If one of us is NOT seeking a dialogue that requires listening, rather than a monologue that does NOT, then we are simply talking at each other, NOT with each other. That’s NOT helpful.

“You Might Be Right.” Now, You Say It.

I wrote how “You might be right” became a common catchphrase and a fitting column name here. I realize that all religion is cultural, and all theology is speculation, so I hold my beliefs loosely. Since your speculation might be more correct than my speculation, then it is a small concession for me to say, “You might be right.” It is a small concession for you to say that, too.

Many people simply can NOT say, “You might be right.” Either they are NOT open-hearted enough to extend the same courtesy that they just received, or they are NOT open-minded enough to realize that their speculation is belief, NOT fact, or that reasonable people (perhaps starting with different assumptions) can reach different conclusions.

Most people know that extraordinary claims require extraordinary evidence. Also, they know that claims that can be asserted without evidence can be dismissed without evidence. Typically, those are the rules of engagement in a free, pluralistic, secular society.

In The Way, I quote Christian philosopher Paul Tillich. Faith is NOT “an act of knowledge that has a low degree of evidence…. Here, absurdity replaces thought, and faith is called the acceptance of absurdities.” To Tillich (and to me), faith entails trust in God (or the Universe) rather than belief in unbelievable things. Most people will NOT readily embrace unsupportable claims.

If one of us is NOT looking for areas of common ground or helpful engagement, rather than reciting a sermon, then we are simply talking at each other, NOT with each other. That’s NOT helpful.

How Are We to Live?

All of us are free to share our beliefs with others. But, if we are asking others to accept our extraordinary claims without extraordinary evidence, then we should probably approach them in an open-hearted, open-minded manner, seeking areas of common ground. And we should probably do so with curiosity, respect and non-violence.

So, how can we treat people and other animals with compassion and wisdom if we harbor an innate sense of superiority?

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