Some wise sage once said that when you have a child you learn what it is to watch your heart walk around outside in another person's body. That's a good analogy, but it still falls short of the Catholic view of family life. If we believe what we profess in the Creed, that the Lord is "the giver of life," then we must see our children's lives through a heavenly lens, for the very heart of God is tied to every human heart that beats. What parents get to see and experience is in some small measure is what God's Fatherhood is all about. God's heart is walking around on the earth in our children. This is why we are to love one another. God first loved us. It is why Pope Benedict XVI so wisely preached that, "each of us is the result of a thought of God" (Homily, April 24, 2005).
God will never let us go; we will always have a place in his heart. His love is always faithful. Our children remind us that love has an everlasting component that lives on, long after we have to let each other go, at least, in this earthly life.
Our marriage, in big and small ways, seeks to imitate this Godly, faithful love. We are still learning what that means, but we are so grateful to have had thirty years thus far to take it all in.
So, young people out there, you didn't ask for any advice, but humor a midlife woman on her 30th wedding anniversary. I have a few suggestions.
Trust God and prepare yourself for a future mate by learning to love Jesus first.
Trust the Sacraments and the graces of the Church.
Trust the ways of chastity and the enormity of delight that it will bring on the other side of your vows.
Remember to be not afraid: it has always been counter-cultural to live as a Christian. But once you dive deep into knowing and learning what love really is, you will learn that it is never counter-intuitive.
Love will cost you everything, and it will be a debt you will gladly pay.
So faith, hope, love abide, these three; but the greatest of these is love (1 Cor. 13:13).
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