A Personal Path to Judaism

By Yair Ben Avraham

Judaism does not seek out converts, and while those who do convert are taken in with open arms as full members of the Jewish people, the fact is that becoming a Jew can be a long and difficult process. Jews have understood our tradition to be our own particular path, not one that is required of non-Jews. Indeed, our most important philosophers and theologians, such as Maimonides, have argued that God ordained other paths and the peoples who followed them.

For this reason conversion to Judaism is not like converting to either of its Abrahamic cousins, Christianity and Islam, which have relatively simple conversion procedures one would expect from their more universal focus. When this orientation was coupled with the fact that converts and their instructing rabbis often faced terrible penalties if discovered by the Christian or Muslim rulers under which they lived, Jews were very wary of being involved in conversions and often discouraged those seeking to become Jewish. While today many feel that Judaism has much to offer, and while we welcome those who undergo the conversion process, we still do not seek out converts.

My own story provides some insight into how conversion to Judaism takes place in general, some of the difficulties which can arise along the way, and why people choose to become Jewish.

I was raised in a home I would characterize as non-denominational, Pentecostal, evangelical, and quite fundamentalist. From a young age I was brought up around the Bible, having learned to read with the King James Version when I was a pre-schooler.

During my childhood and adolescent years we did a daily Bible reading schedule through which we read all of the entire Christian Bible from Genesis to Revelation, with Gospels, Psalms, and Proverbs twice. It is fair to say that I was immersed in the stories found within the Hebrew Bible, and by the age of 5 or 6, I knew more characters in those stories than many adults.

I remember feeling that the New Testament was something I had to know because, well, we were Christian and after all, that was the part that mattered most. But I remember really being interested in the stories in what I now know as the Hebrew Bible, and as I grew into my teen years I had a very strong interest in the culture and history of the Jewish people, as all of these stories were about them. I read anything I could find on biblical-era Jewish culture, and I felt somehow deeply connected to these people, as if I belonged to them. It was a strange feeling because despite some rumored possibly Jewish ancestors, I knew I was of decidedly Teutonic and Celtic ethnicity. But the feeling of connection remained, and so I kept reading about Judaism, Jewish culture, and Israel as I went through college.

During and immediately after college I found I had a crisis of faith: I realized that I didn't believe anymore in the message of evangelical Christianity. I tried to return to a fundamentalist expression of the faith in order to drive away the growing doubt, but it became increasingly clear that I could no longer believe in the idea of substitutionary atonement as presented in the story of the passion and resurrection of Jesus Christ.

I tried to continue but was unable to do so after spending several months studying "messianic prophecies" believed by Christians to point to Jesus, only looking at them anew from a Jewish perspective thanks to the work of Rabbi Tovia Singer and the folks at Jews for Judaism. This was a disconcerting time for me, as I felt simultaneous relief and horror at the paradigm shift I was undergoing. But ultimately I realized one day that without my belief in Jesus, but with my belief in God and my love of the Hebrew Bible and all things Jewish still intact, I was now free to actually consider conversion to Judaism.

I began my path to Judaism by reading online. This was easiest for me, as the local Jewish community was Reform and I was not ready to move in such a liberal direction at that time. Additionally the nearest large Jewish community with synagogues and rabbis from across the Jewish spectrum was a three-hour drive away.

I eventually found my way to the website of a group of Sephardi ultra-orthodox Jews in Israel, and I decided to email them. I began an interesting dialogue with a couple of men involved in the group, and when they recognized that I was pretty serious, they suggested I start reading a book called Kitzur Shulchan Aruch , which is a sort of collection of highlights of Jewish Law, and that I start incorporating elements of practice into my life, and find an Orthodox rabbi to talk to. I did lots more reading, and then decided that Orthodoxy was probably not going to be possible for me for many reasons, and so I contacted a Conservative rabbi in the larger community described above, and began to attend my local synagogue and study with its rabbi as well. For the next year and a half or so I regularly attended services, read stacks of books that were part of the formal curriculum my Conservative rabbi used, and met regularly with the local rabbi (a graduate of the Reconstructionist Rabbinical College). My conversion was completed in June of 2003.

The process of conversion was extensive and involved a lot of very hard work on my part, but the actual rituals involved were not particularly onerous. For men, Jewish law requires circumcision, but men who have been circumcised as infants need only to have a small drop of blood drawn from the circumcision site, and thankfully (!) I was in this category. Appearance before a beit din , a court convened to examine the potential convert's readiness to become a Jew, is required for men and women. For those who view Jewish law as binding upon all Jews, conversion means in an instant becoming responsible for living in accordance with its demands, and the beit din makes sure the candidate is ready to do so. Both men and women then immerse in a mikvah, a ritual bath, and they become Jews with this act. It is difficult to describe the happiness I felt when I was greeted by my friends from the synagogue as a new member of the Jewish people, embraced by them as such. I felt I had finally come home, and been connected with who I always was.

I have been heavily involved in my Jewish community since my conversion. I currently serve as a gabbai in our synagogue, a sort of assistant during services. I also lead services when the rabbi is away, and I tutor bar and bat mitzvah students on chanting Torah and Haftarah. I also have been involved in speaking engagements outside of the Jewish community where I have taught church groups and college classes about Judaism, Israel, and related topics. I have completely fallen in love with my people, and every opportunity I have to serve other Jews and work to bridge our community with others is a reward in itself.

This is not to say there have not been trying times and speed bumps along the way, and the hurdles I have encountered are not uncommon among converts to Judaism.

Because becoming a Jew means joining a cultural group and a people just as much as it is taking on the Jewish religion, one essentially develops a new identity in the process of preparing for conversion. Becoming Jewish is about more than going to the synagogue and praying from a siddur, or prayerbook. It also means acquiring the ability to navigate Jewish culture, to be moved by collective experiences of a group into which one was not born.

There are new memories to forge, new ways of seeing the world develop, and the Hebrew language to learn. Not everyone in a potential convert's family of origin will understand this. I still find the members of my own extended family taken aback when they are at my home and they walk into a room to find me praying in a tallit and tefillin ; this awkwardness says nothing of how we relate to one another given their views on the consequences of my having rejected Christianity. Family members will not always understand the changes in your life, and becoming a Jew is a very significant change.

Another issue confronting those interested in becoming Jews is that there isn't really a universally accepted route. The Reform movement recognizes converts from any stream of legitimate Judaism (excluding "Messianic Judaism," which is actually Christianity), and Conservative Judaism does as well, so long as the requirements of Jewish Law have been met. Orthodox communities typically only recognize Orthodox converts; yet it is true that some Orthodox communities will not recognize converts from other Orthodox communities either.

The issue of acceptance is compounded by the fact that the State of Israel recognizes all converts as Jews for purposes of citizenship, but the religious authorities in the Israeli Chief Rabbinate do not. Where you will be accepted as Jewish is an important consideration for prospective converts, and having experiences in which you are rejected can be quite painful, given the difficulty of the conversion process and the commitment it requires. My advice is to choose the Jewish community in which you want to involve yourself, and make your conversion there where you will be accepted.

Finally, it is worth noting that becoming a Jew means you will be subject to the fate of Jews where you live, for good or ill. Jews have experienced an enormous amount of persecution throughout our history, and wherever there are Jews there are hateful and maladjusted people who for whatever reason have something against us. You will also become a person to whom many non-Jews will look for explanations of the "Jewish" perspective on issues of all kinds, and I have often found myself being forced to engage in arguments about Judaism with Christians eager to convert Jews, and about Israeli political and defense issues. Suffice it to say that it is important that any decision to convert to Judaism includes a serious consideration of these issues and how they will impact you.

In the end and in spite of all of the hurdles and difficulties, I could not imagine having taken a different spiritual path than the one that has brought me to Judaism and the Jewish people.

For more information on conversion to Judaism, check out Jews by Choice .

Yair ben Avraham lives in the Duluth, Minnesota area. He writes for the website www.jewsbychoice.org , and is actively involved in his local synagogue as a gabbai, a lay prayer leader when the rabbi is away, and a tutor for bar/bat mitzvah students. His interests include Jewish history, Jewish mysticism, Judeo-Arab culture, and Jewish-Muslim relations, and spending time hiking, camping, and fishing with his family. He can be reached at yair_ben_avraham@hotmail.com.