Instead of telling them they are sinning because they are sleeping with their girlfriends or boyfriends, I tell them that they are sinning because they are looking to their romances to give their lives meaning, to justify and save them, to give them what they should be looking for from God. This idolatry leads to anxiety, obsessiveness, envy, and resentment. I have found that when you describe their lives in terms of idolatry, postmodern people do not give much resistance. Then Christ and his salvation can be presented not (at this point) so much as their only hope for forgiveness, but as their only hope for freedom. This is my ‘gospel for the uncircumcised.' (Tim Keller, "The Gospel in All Its Forms," Leadership Journal 29/2 [2008]: 15).
We will see more Christians engage in evangelism if they don't perceive it as socially counter-intuitive. I have found that many Christians are reluctant to talk about their faith because they aren't wired for "confrontational" evangelistic styles, methods that often produce more weirdness rather than witness. Non-Christians may appear hard-hearted and closed-minded only because our methods resemble that of a salesperson, but all of us tend to be suspicious of "pitches" when they come from strangers and not from friends. Yet when a trusted friend promotes a restaurant or a cleaning product (or even challenges us), we're more likely to listen. More Christians need to be trusted friends of non-Christians.
A couple years ago, a former student asked me about the "confrontational" or "cold-turkey" method of evangelism used by her church; they were being "sent out" into the streets or knocking on doors to challenge people about their sin before talking about the Savior. This approach proved socially awkward -- not because of the message of the gospel itself (which does often divide or create offense), but because of its lack of a relational regard for the specific context and felt needs of the non-Christian. The approach made her reluctant to evangelize.
So I sent the young woman alternative materials about relational evangelism, suggesting that, while some may be good at this style of evangelism, it often creates unnecessary awkwardness both for many other Christians and for those whom they're trying to reach. I encouraged her to consider a listening, relational evangelism -- one that typically takes more effort but can be more easily carried out by any Christian. This is what she wrote in response:
It completely MAKES SENSE. Everything you said sunk in and I really understood it ... and saw evangelism in a new light. It was quite freeing to me, to be honest, because I am NOT AT ALL gifted in street evangelism. I was even talking and processing [the confrontational approach] with the girl that goes with me on Saturdays, and we both felt freed from it and became EXCITED about this new approach. We felt we were definitely more gifted in "relationships" and really longed to be in relationships with non-Christian girls.
This scenario is a common one. Yes, some are gifted at confrontational evangelism (on the street or door-to-door). However, once Christians realize there is a less-intimidating, more natural alternative to evangelism and that relationships are the major means God uses in evangelism, they are, in my experience, more likely to share their faith.
We need to rally many more professing Christians to engage in this task, but I suspect it will more likely take place through the naturalness of friendship evangelism -- especially for a generation of suspicious postmoderns.
Paul Copan is professor of philosophy and ethics at Palm Beach Atlantic University in Florida. He received his Ph.D. in philosophy, with an emphasis on philosophy of religion, from Marquette University. He is the author and editor of many books, he maintains a lively website, and he blogs regularly at Parchment and Pen. An earlier version of this article appeared under the name "Do We Need To Tell People the Bad News Before the Good News?"
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