Marrying Outside the Box

The key question in this predicament is why are the justifications used to deny women the ability to marry Men of the Book not applicable to Muslim men? In answering this question it is my hope that we come to realize the sexism in such a restriction. This constraint implies that women are incapable of playing a role in guiding the direction and spiritual nature of their relationships with men whereas men are seen as sitting in the driver's seat. Additionally, it is assumed that a Muslim woman will discard Islam when a non-Muslim man comes into her life. From the perspective of someone who has seen Muslim women marry non-Muslim men and remain Muslim, this fear appears to not be based in any factual analysis. Also, I am unaware of any research that has found Muslim women more likely to leave Islam than Muslim men. Finally, this restriction assumes that women are weak, impressionable and in need of protection from not only others, but themselves as well.

As can be seen from Dr. Hargey's experience in presiding over unions between Muslim women and non-Muslim men, many Muslim women are marrying Men of the Book and happily doing so. By denying Muslim women this ability we not only deny them happiness, but we may be condemning them to a life of loneliness as their male counterparts, who are fewer in number, continue to marry outside the religion. This seems especially harsh considering the questionable nature of the prohibition. Although the initial intent of the prohibition is understandable, the restriction is now beginning to feel outdated. Because this prohibition is simply an interpretation, it needs to be questioned and re-assessed if Muslim communities around the world do not want to alienate a significant portion of their female population.

This article was first published at Altmuslimah.com, a Patheos Partner, and is reprinted with permission.

Sobia Ali is a Ph.D. Candidate in Applied Social Psychology at the University of Windsor in Ontario, Canada where she studies ethnic identity, acculturation, and relationships of South Asian Muslims. Her non-academic writing includes contributing to Muslimah Media Watch and Muslim Lookout.