I said goodbye to Tom and left. My therapy was over and I had not been cured. I was still just as gay as I'd ever been. I had found no root cause, no emotional damage, no relational dysfunction that had caused me to be gay. All that I had was me. There was work yet to be done; all of the shame, all of the ambivalence, had to be distilled and reoriented before I could live openly as a gay man. But eventually I reached that place where I knew that I didn't have to be gay. I knew that I got to be gay; that I had been given this wonderful and completely queer gift by God. And all I had to do was say yes to what God had always wanted me to be.
Paul Fromberg is rector of St. Gregory of Nyssa Episcopal Church. He lives with his husband Grant Martin in San Francisco.