Being Perfect; Perfect Being

I'm sure that most Mormons would agree that perfectionism is a problem within Mormon culture. I don't know the social science research, but I've seen perfectionism often enough among friends and others in the Church that I'm satisfied by the anecdotal evidence; there is some significant number of Mormons who battle with finding their best efforts unacceptable if there is any flaw at all in them. The cultural source of the problem is difficult to pin down exactly, but my guess is that it starts with the Ben Franklin style drive for self-improvement implicit in American culture, imbibed fully by many Mormons and sometimes confused with their religion. The scriptural source is Matthew 5:48 : "Be ye therefore perfect, even as your Father which is in Heaven is perfect." Supposedly the Mormon perfectionist is justified by that scripture and our version of the belief in theosis , that we can become like God. I have to confess that the more I think about the teachings concerning the hereafter— theosis , sealings, eternal marriage, and so on—the less I understand what they mean. It isn't that I believe them any less, just that I don't know what they mean beyond what they mean for me in this life (which is a lot). The meaning of such beliefs for this life is good enough, so I don't plan to try to explain our belief in theosis. (See my earlier column for more about why I don't.) But I do want to think about what the commandment to be perfect can mean to a person in this life. Because Mormons are part of a 20th-century culture, we tend to think of being perfect as perfection is conceived in the 20th century rather than as it was conceived anciently; we think that to be perfect is to be without flaw. A perfect being is one who never makes a mistake, even a trivial one like miscalculating the tip on a restaurant bill. But in neither Hebrew nor Greek is perfection understood that way. The Hebrew root for many of the words used to denote perfection in the Hebrew Bible is kalal. Another word is the related word tikla. Both have to do with being complete or whole. The Greek word used in Matthew is similar; teleios means "being fully mature, an adult." Both have to do with moral and character development and nothing to do with such things as keeping our houses absolutely sparkling, or getting an A in every class if not a perfect result on every test, or providing not only a living for our families but a life of luxury. Read as the Hebrew and Greek words for perfection suggest, Matthew 5:48 means something like "Be morally mature, just as your Father in Heaven is morally mature." But even that is a tall order. Indeed, perhaps we focus on such things as housekeeping, performance on school tests, and providing continually more and more because at least in those arenas we feel we have some control. Those are things I can do, at least in principle, whereas it is often difficult to see how I can make myself into a better person. Perhaps perfectionism is a desperate attempt to avoid facing up to my moral weakness. Or perhaps, instead of hiding from ourselves in perfectionism, we recognize our weakness and imitate the hypothetical cry of the sinner in Romans 7: "I don't understand what I do: I don't do what I want to do, but what I hate, I do" ( Rom. 7:15 ). If we understand ourselves well, contemplating moral wholeness as a requirement to be met can do nothing but depress us. Faced with our moral weakness, the command to be morally whole seems impossible. But the Lord's response to Paul's prayer to be released from his "thorn in the flesh" ( 2 Cor. 12:7 ), is apt: "My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness" ( 2 Cor. 12:9 ). Jesus' command to be perfect is not a command that we do something, but a command that we allow something to happen. He commands us to be perfected in him, to be made perfect by being imbued with his strength rather than our own. For the perfectionist and probably for many of his friends, the question of perfection is a question of power: how do I have the power over my life needed to make myself perfect? The answer is "I cannot." Perfection is not a matter of power. As another Mormon scripture, the Doctrine and Covenants, reminds us: "No power or influence can or ought to be maintained by virtue of the priesthood [and if not by the priesthood, then also by no other power], only by persuasion, by long-suffering, by gentleness and meekness, and by love unfeigned" ( D&C 121: 41 ). Love must replace power in our lives. But how can that happen? In a sideways move toward answering that question, consider the prayer of 1 Peter 5:10 : "The God of all grace, who hath called us unto his eternal glory by Christ Jesus, after that you have suffered for a while, make you perfect, stablish, strengthen, settle you." Peter also understands perfection as something that happens to us rather than something we accomplish by filling out our daily planner assiduously, gritting our teeth, and setting to. Planning and gritting and setting to may often be necessary, but they aren't the means by which we will be perfected. The only requirement Peter mentions is suffering. That will make us perfect (understood in this verse as being able to meet the requirements set for us), will establish us, and will strengthen us. Peter doesn't pray that the saints will suffer, but he also doesn't pray that they won't. Suffering is a fact, but a Christian who remembers the suffering of Jesus can hardly expect not to be required also to suffer. As the Book of Mormon prophet Alma teaches of Jesus: And he shall go forth, suffering pains and afflictions and temptations of every kind; and this that the word might be fulfilled which saith he will take upon him the pains and the sicknesses of his people. And he will take upon him death, that he may loose the bands of death which bind his people; and he will take upon him their infirmities, that his bowels may be filled with mercy, according to the flesh, that he may know according to the flesh how to succor his people according to their infirmities. ( Alma 7:11-12 ; emphasis added) If we wish to be like the Savior, to know what he knows, we must imitate his suffering. But it is important to notice that the word translated "suffering" in 1 Peter 5:10 is broader than the English term "suffering." It means "to experience" and "to endure" as well as "to suffer pain." The promise implicit in Peter's prayer is that if we endure the experience given by God, we will meet the requirements he has set for us, we will be made immoveable ("stablished"), strengthened, and set on a foundation stone ("settled"), presumably the foundation stone of Jesus Christ (cf. Eph. 2:20 ). I take the Book of Mormon prophet Mormon to teach the same thing in different words and, at the same time, to give us a key to understanding how being perfected is possible: Wherefore, my beloved brethren, pray unto the Father with all the energy of heart, that ye may be filled with this love, which he hath bestowed upon all who are true followers of his Son, Jesus Christ; that ye may become the sons of God; that when he shall appear we shall be like him, for we shall see him as he is; that we may have this hope; that we may be purified even as he is pure ( Moroni 7:48 ). If, as I suspect based on little more than intuition, Matthew 5:48 is an allusion to Leviticus 19:2 —"Ye shall be holy: for I the Lord your God am holy"—then Moroni tells us how holiness, in other words purity, is achieved: I must pray to be filled with love; and to have that love is to truly follow, to be like, Jesus Christ. It is to become a child of God in the fullest sense. The gift of love is the result of prayer and it is through the gift of love that I become perfect, like the Son of God because loving like him. Another Book of Mormon prophet, Alma the Elder, describes the goal of that Christly love when he addresses people who wish to be baptized: Ye are desirous to come into the fold of God, and to be called his people, and are willing to bear one another's burdens, that they may be light; yea, and are willing to mourn with those that mourn; yea, and comfort those that stand in need of comfort, and to stand as witnesses of God at all times and in all things, and in all places that ye may be in, even until death ( Mosiah 18:8-9 ). This describes the perfection that Jesus demands: to be willing to bear one another's burdens without asking whether I deserve to or whether the person with the burden deserves it; to be willing to mourn, genuinely, with mourners and to comfort those who need comfort; and to endure to the end as a witness of God by living the life of love given to me. On this understanding of becoming perfect, the question of to what degree I can become like Jesus in this life is moot. I must be fully what I am given to be through fervent prayer and, as Mormon's son Moroni later says, by denying myself all ungodliness ( Moroni 10:32 ), which I take to be the same thing. I do not need to compare myself to others or to demand a yardstick for deciding how perfect I am. It is enough to submit and to love. In this life perfection, being like God, means being imbued with the love given by God, a love exemplified in the life of a Savior who willingly suffered unjustly, suffered that which he did not deserve, bearing our burdens, mourning with us, comforting us, and standing as a witness of the Father.