About the time we climbed our last hill and the view of the minaret from the Haram mosque first came into view, the rain slowed to a stop. We had made it! To reward us for our efforts, Allah sent a beautiful rainbow.
You cannot see the mosque, but it was just around the bend, indicating we would be back in the hotel in less than half an hour. This was surely one of the all-time high points for me. After a hot shower, dry clothes, and dinner, my arm and back started to ache from the fall. In fact, I had to sit down to make my final prayers of that day. I took two Tylenol and went to bed.
By morning I was up and cheery! I had walked all the way to Makkah in the pouring rain! My back and arm were fine. I went to the mosque alone to make my tawaf ifadah and sa'iy. I had learned that I could combine tawaf ifadah with the farewell tawaf by making a niyyat, or intention, to combine. Then, technically, I should not return to the Haram after that, or shop for anything beyond the necessities. But I knew something about myself that was helpful. I could not make tawaf unless I could see the Ka'abah at each circumference. I did not expect my roommate to do that since her tawafifadah had been from the third floor.
Thus it was me, Allah, the Ka'abah, and about a million people. I could live with that.
I walked to the mosque with a pair of two-dollar slippers while my own shoes dried from the previous day's walk in the rain. I was determined to get as close to the Ka'abah as possible, but also determined not to push. I stepped into the river of people in the lower courtyard, moving counter clock wise. I kept my arms flat to my side. I never reached close enough to touch the Ka'abah, but I was really, really happy to be there on my own two feet, counting off the seven rounds, with du'a and dhikron my lips. Half way through I stepped away from the wedged crowd but stayed in the lower lobby. My arms were completely soaked! My body was still dry, so it was not my own sweat. You can get the sense of the human sardine-in-a-tin effect!
On the sixth round, I said all my du'a and dhikr in English, but still out loud. I don't know why I wanted to do that, but I was in my own element. Halfway through the last round, I peeled off altogether from the people and proceeded to the third floor to complete my tawaf away from the crowds. Then I prayed my two raka'at where it was quiet and relatively empty. If I had waited in the lower courtyard to come to the official end spot, everything would have been over crowded, even the steps back into the mosque.
So, I thought, if you can make all seven rounds anywhere in the mosque, then I could make one half without the sardine effect. Then I drank my zam zam water, walked my sa'iy and drank more zam zam water, whenever I came to a station that was not so crowded. This was the bittersweet end to a sweet visit of worship, to the house built in the name of Allah. When I left the mosque for the last time, my shoes were no longer there, but I didn't mind!
Yes, I cried, but these were the tears of joy. I was one of the oldest ladies in my tent but not in a wheel chair, and I had made it all the way through. I had made my umrah the first day, I stood at Arafat and even on the Mount of Mercy, I sat all night on the dusty plain of Muzdhalifah, I spent four nights in Mina, walked the people walk to ramy Jamarat three times, and walked in the pouring rain all the way from Mina to Makkah! Today I complete my final tawaf and sa'iy. I did all of this on my own two feet, and with love in my heart.
Thank you Allah; accept my du'a, forgive my sins and accept my hajj, in your Name, ameen.
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