It is as a prisoner for Jesus Christ that I hope to greet you, if it is indeed by God's will that I should deserve to meet my end. Things are off to a good start. May I have the good fortune to meet my fate without interference. What I fear is your generosity which may prove detrimental to me. For you can easily do what you want to, whereas it is hard for me to get to God unless you leave me alone. . . . If you are quiet concerning me, I shall become a word of God; but if you show your love to my flesh, I become a meaningless cry and will have to run my race again. Grant me no greater favor than to be a sacrifice to God. It is a fine thing for me to set with the sun leaving the world and going to God, that I may rise with him.
The delights of this world and all its kingdoms will not profit me. For what shall it profit a man, if he gains the whole world but loses his own soul? I seek him who died for us, I desire him who rose for us. I am in the throes of being born again. Bear with me beloved, do not keep me from truly living, do not wish to keep me in a state of death. I desire to belong to God, so do not give me over to the world and do not seduce me with perishable things. Let me see the pure light; when I am there, I shall be truly satisfied at last. Let me imitate the sufferings of my God. If anyone has God within, understand what I want and have sympathy for me, knowing what drives me on.
To read Ignatius is to recall the regular ease with which I compromise with the world; how readily I neutralize my convictions and too often wilt at the slightest challenge. My faith can be so weak sometimes. In those times I wonder why anyone would follow Jesus, but then I wonder how anyone would not. In the gospel of Ignatius' mentor John, Jesus said, "It is the Spirit who gives life . . . The words that I have spoken to you are spirit and life." Still, many could not believe and sadly walked away. Jesus turned to his disciples and asked, "Do you also want to walk away?" To which Peter, the other mentor of Ignatius, replied, "Lord, to whom shall we go? You have the words of eternal life. We have come to believe and know that you are the Holy One of God."
"The prince of this world would snatch me away and destroy my desire to be with God," Ignatius wrote, "so let none of you who will be at my execution give Satan help. Side rather with me, that is, with God. Do not have Jesus Christ on your lips and the world in your hearts. Give envy no place among you. And if, when I get there, I should beg for your intervention, pay no attention to me. Believe instead what I am writing to you now. . . . My earthly desires have been crucified and there no longer burns in me the love of material things, but a living water that speaks inside me saying, 'Come to the Father.' I take no delight in corruptible food, nor in the pleasures of this life. I want the bread of God, the heavenly bread, the bread of life, which is the flesh of Jesus Christ, the Son of God, who was of David's seed; and for drink I want his blood, the sign of his imperishable love and eternal life."
To want Christ is to have him forever. Since to live is Christ and to die is gain, we win either way.
Ad-Free & Subscriber Log-In