By Kate Ott

Most of our faith communities are either silent about sexuality or respond with "just say no" to teen sexual behaviors. What does that teach teens? They learn that we are uncomfortable with, unprepared for, and intentionally avoiding addressing their developing sexuality in the context of their faith lives. Regularly, I hear adults say, "If we give them information about sex, that will encourage them to have sex!" First, this assumes youth do not already know about sex (i.e., sexual behaviors). Second, it reinforces an understanding of sexual desire as uncontrollable and adolescents as non-sexual beings until the magic of marriage changes them into mature heterosexual adults. This could not be further from the truth. In fact, the contrary is true.

Effective sexuality education programs encourage and assist youth in delaying sexual intercourse, reducing mature sexual behaviors, and using safer sex practices. In addition, teaching sexuality education in our faith communities allows teens to draw on their core faith values in developing healthy relationships. Parents and guardians have primary responsibility to educate their children on matters of sexuality. Yet, according to the Religions Institute on Sexual Morality Justice and Healing, "Religious institutions serve more teens than any other agency in the community except the public schools, and they are specifically empowered to offer values-based education to children outside of the home." Faith communities have a moral obligation to provide sexuality education.

Faith Matters

At minimum, one step to healthy sexual development and postponing mature sexual behaviors is active participation in a faith community. Research shows that youth active in religious institutions engage in sexual intercourse less often than their secular counterparts. (See Faith Matters: Teenagers, Religion and Sexuality, by Steve Clapp, Kristen Leverton Helbert, and Angela Zizak.) Moreover, teens who report significant levels of involvement have the lowest reported rates of sexual intercourse. A number of factors contribute to this. Abstinence was a message that these teens received, but not the only message. Active involvement and support within the congregation are the primary criteria as well as a positive portrayal of sexuality. In addition, these youth reported receiving education on how to make a decision and resources for making that decision. In other words, these teens not only postponed sexual intercourse; they learned about healthy sexuality and "right relationships."

Faith communities who are providing such education are few and far between. Many teens who are religiously committed expect more from their congregations when it comes to sexuality issues. Only four in ten religiously active youth agree that their congregation portrays sex in a healthy and positive manner. Eighty-nine percent of youth report they receive inadequate information on sexual decision-making. Teens need more from us and they want more from us. The good news is that every faith community could take four immediate steps toward assisting youth in developing healthy sexuality and establishing "right" relationships:

1. Promote a positive and holistic view of sexuality.
2. Concentrate on relationship qualities, instead of just sexual behaviors.
3. Incorporate educational opportunities to promote moral development.
4. Practice what we preach.