Three Reasons Why Mayim Bialik’s Video About Open Relationships Is Terrible

So Mayim Bialik, the anti-vaxxer star of the Big Bang Theory, just released a video about how she doesn’t “get” open relationships.

The video is a bit hard to follow because her points are all over the place, but she first starts arguing that men and women’s sexuality are not that same. Bialik argues that because men continuously produce sperm, they are wired to have sex continuously. Conversely, women have to be more selective with their partners because they have one egg.

I don’t think she meant to do this, but this perpetuates the tired (and harmful) stereotypes that men just want to have sex all the time and women don’t want to as much.

Bialik then argues that because men and women have different capacities for sexual desire, open relationships don’t make sense because they would be having sex at different rates. To make all this worse, she tries to justify her argument by stating she is a scientist, but cites exactly zero scientific studies.

Towards the end of the video, she also says how open relationships don’t make sense to her personally because it seems exhausting to date more than one person at once. Yet, many polyamorous people are able to do this just fine. This video really bothered me for a few reasons:

1)  It would have been fine if Bialik talked about things outside her area (neuroscience of Prader-Willi syndrome) if SHE USED SCIENTIFIC STUDIES TO BACK UP HER CLAIMS. It’s very irresponsible to just say “as a scientist XYZ” without citing anything.

2) By using “science” she only perpetuated tired stereotypes of men wanting sex more than women. So it’s silly to say open relationships don’t make sense because men and women don’t like sex the same amount. It’s also completely absurd that she’ll say that some women stay in these open relationships because they think it’s the only way they can stay with a man. Maybe the woman just wants to be in an open relationship?

3) Polyamory isn’t just about sex anyway. Ask any polyamorous person and they’ll tell you. Also, open relationships do not always mean someone is polyamorous, but she conflates the two terms. It seems like Bialik has never talked to a polyamorous person before and loudly spread her ignorant opinion to millions of people.

Sigh.

I’m personally not polyamorous, but I think this video is pretty ignorant of polyamory from what I know about it. And again, just throwing around the word “science” to justify one’s point isn’t enough. However, because Bialik also promotes anti-vaccine nonsense, I guess I really shouldn’t be surprised.

PS: I now have a Patreon if you’d like to support my writing and podcasting. 

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