Hey, America!

Do me a favor, okay?

Spell this word right: Atheist.


A- is for non, not or without. For instance: typical, atypical. Atypical means not typical.

-THEIST means religious, believing in a god or gods. It’s the same “the” in theology, the study of gods or religion.

And while we’re at it, the end part of theist,

-IST means someone who does a thing — guitarist, feminist, racist, pianist

… whereas

-EST means something like “most.” Biggest. Ugliest. Smartest.




Not a-thi-est. An athiest, if there was such a thing, might be someone really good at not believing in thighs. While such people might exist somewhere, we don’t give them a cool name when we talk about them.

C’mon, you’ve been killing and spitting on us for at least the past couple of thousand years. And even today you don’t want to live next door to us, or have us marry your daughters.

At least learn to spell our name.

  • HP

    Re. “Athiest”: I always hear Lucy van Pelt (as voiced in the TV specials) saying, “Of all the Athies in the world, Charlie Brown, you’re the Athiest.”

  • The Lorax

    Athiest – An individual who is not thigh.

    Incidentally, “thigh” is now an adjective. Somehow.

    Quick, someone think of a definition for “thigh” as an adjective…

  • Daniel Schealler


    You’re just jealous that some of us are athier than you.

    • raymoscow

      You stole my line!

      • Daniel Schealler

        (He’s so athie) Athie I be.
        Ain’t a shrill-angry athie out there who be athier than me.
        (He’s so athie) Athie, and how!
        Come not near to me, for I be athier than thou.


  • Alisdair

    Reminded me of this joke:


    During heated discussions of religion (and the lack thereof) I have been known to shout the punchline to this joke just to break the tension.