Don’t Touch That Cucumber, Harlot

Remember when you were in junior high, and there was that totally clueless guy who occasionally spouted things that were so embarrassing everybody turned away in disgust?

His name was Mike, as I recall.

Well, Mike is now a Muslim cleric, and he’s in the news for his latest embarrassing pronouncement.

An Islamic cleric residing in Europe said that women should not be close to bananas or cucumbers, in order to avoid any “sexual thoughts.”

The unnamed sheikh, who was featured in an article on el-Senousa news, was quoted saying that if women wish to eat these food items, a third party, preferably a male related to them such as their a father or husband, should cut the items into small pieces and serve.

Gah.

Mike, I just don’t know. That you’d advise people to cut penis-shaped objects into small pieces, and then serve them to WOMEN. Well, you know, speaking as a guy (ouch!), and also somebody who respects women …

That’s just sick, isn’t it?

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