Announcing: Save The Christians!™

My atheist brothers and sisters, I have seen the light. At last I understand the true threat. And I need your help.

Last week in South Carolina,  former House Speaker and current GOP presidential candidate Newt Gingrich laid into the media for its ugly inclination against Christians.

And rightly so.

During the discussion of gay marriage at the Republican presidential debate tonight, Newt Gingrich interjected to make the point that religious Christians face far more discrimination in this country than gays and other groups. He also accused the media of ignoring “anti-Christian bigotry.”

“Since we’ve spent this much time on these issues, I just want to raise a point about the news media bias,” Mr. Gingrich said. “You don’t hear the opposite question asked.”

Mr. Gingrich pointed to recent situations where Catholic charities shut down to avoid being forced to comply with anti-discrimination laws as evidence Christians are really the ones being persecuted in this country.

“Should the Catholic church be forced to close its adoption services in Massachusetts because it won’t accept gay couples, which is exactly what the state has done? Should the Catholic church be driven out of providing charitable services in the District of Columbia because it won’t give in to secular bigotry? Should the Catholic church find itself discriminated against by the Obama administration on key delivery of services because of the bias and the bigotry of the administration?” Mr. Gingrich asked.

Secular bigotry! Exactly! Oh, Newtie, you hit the goddamned nail on the head with a 20-ounce waffle-head framing hammer!

“The bigotry question goes both ways, and there’s a lot more anti-Christian bigotry today than there is concerning the other side,” Gingrich said during a discussion about gay rights, “and none of it gets covered by the news media.”

Newt was so, so right.

But it was Rep. Tim Scott (R-S.C.) who finally convinced me. Addressing a crowd gathered Monday at a South Carolina Tea Party conference, he said

The greatest minority under assault today are Christians. No doubt about it.

That’s worth saying again:

The greatest minority under assault today are Christians. No doubt about it.

I don’t know why all of us, we supposedly freethinking people, haven’t seen it before.

Christians are a minority. And they are Under Assault.

That’s why I’m announcing, today, this 17th of January, in the year of 2012, my grassroots campaign to

Save The Christians!™

I’ll have more details in the near future, but I just couldn’t wait to get the word out. I hope you’ll all join me in this vital work. History itself is under siege, and our American way of life. If each one of us doesn’t pitch in and help in a last-ditch effort of conservation, someday our children will be able to see Christians only in zoos.

Please, think of the future. Think of the children.

The time is NOW.

Save the Christians!™

Because they can’t do it on their own.

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Looking Past the Bright Sun of Crazy
  • nothere

    I went into a little reverie there at the thought of Christians in zoos.

    • James

      With lions?

  • 00001000bit

    How many presidential candidates are openly gay?
    How many presidential candidates are openly Christian?
    How many teens have had to hide their sexuality from family?
    How many teens have had to hide their Christianity from family?

    Yes, Newt the bias against Christians is overwhelming and obvious.

  • Stevarious

    Love how you had to say how many are ‘openly’ gay.

  • Norman Thorsen

    Save The Christians!
    Collect The Whole Set!

  • grumpyoldfart

    If only the Christians could get some tax breaks – that would enable them to accumulate so much wealth they would be able to lobby Governments and get exactly what they want…

  • articulett

    I’ll pray for them.

    • N. Nescio

      I nearly launched a mouthful of tea at that. Thanks for the laugh.

  • teawithbertrand

    Christians typically want it both ways. They declare this to be a “Xian nation” because they make up 75% or so of the population, then play the persecuted minority card with anyone who questions their small-minded bigotry. Cognitive dissonance is an important prerequisite for religious belief.

    • timgueguen

      It’s just like their take on God. God is omnipotent, except when it comes to actually taking any sort of action to preempt behaviour he doesn’t like, or fix his creations so they can’t do those bad things.

  • justawriter

    This will go along well with my dig at “Christian Progressives.” I have insisted for years that if they were serious about their beliefs they would mount a crusade to bring the Baptists back to Christianity.

  • Jeff Sherry

    I can see Sally Struthers being part of the ad campaign with her tear in her voice articualtion.

  • jolo5309

    they would mount a crusade to bring the Baptists back to Christianity.

    Wait, I thought it was the Mormons and Catholics that were not Christians?

  • F

    I wonder when the right-wing owners of media conglomerates will finally stick it to the right-wing lying politicians. Unless this is part of their plan, too.

  • MichaelD

    It’s worth pointing out that no one shut down the catholic adoption agencies. They just defunded them of government money. The catholic church was perfectly free to fund the agencies out of their own pocket. They decided that if they couldn’t discriminate on public dime then they would close up damn the children they could be helping cause they wouldn’t be paying to help them.

  • cgauthier

    Very good point MichaelD. I think the Vatican should be sanctioned as a rogue nation, their assets siezed, affiliated organizations forced to dissolve affiliation and all profitable, legitimate churches taxed, highly. Then again I’m a hard-hearted bigot when it comes to fraud syndicates, especially those with a sideline in child-rapist trafficking.

  • cactusren

    I’ll add to MichaelD’s point. The reference to the Catholic charities in DC occurred when the DC city council was considering legalizing same-sex marriage. The Catholic Church threatened that if that happened, they would cut off their charitable services in the district. No one drove out those services, the Catholic Church withdrew them in a snit. Kudos to the DC council for not being swayed by an organization that acts like a bratty child.

  • ‘Tis Himself, OM.

    The Catholic adoption agency was forced to either obey an anti-discrimination law or have their public funding withdrawn. The agency decided they’d rather be bigots than get money. That’s real persecution.

  • samsalerno

    If you let the gays in we’re going to pull out. There’s something real christiany about that.

  • pyrobryan

    I had to lol at the thought that Christians are a minority. And to suggest that asking them to not discriminate against others is discriminating against them is priceless.

  • Surgoshan

    …Why the picture of Jon Hamm?

  • Hypatia’s Daughter

    Once upon a time, in a land we no longer recognize, churches performed “Acts of Charity”. Their members donated THEIR time and THEIR money to feed the hungry; care for the sick; support orphans and widows……

    Then, the evil Rethug Empire, ruled by devious Lord Ronnie Regan, told people that if we just let churches take over providing these services, instead of the government, they would do a better job AND save the taxpayers lots of money.

    Now the Evil Empire and the churches want the churches to provide the services, be paid by the taxpayers but reserve their right to discriminate AND proselytize while they provide the services.

    “Faith Based Initiatives” is the biggest lie and the biggest shaft of the American taxpayer that has come down the pipe in decades. It figures that Newt would support it.

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