Maverick Blogger Pioneers World’s First Blog Post Reboot!

Seeing the new Batman movie last night, I had this exciting epiphany about blogging.

Blogging is enormously demanding of time and energy. You have to turn out a completely new post at least every few days. For some bloggers, it’s a new post several times EACH  DAY.

But sitting in the theater and looking around at the happy faces, movie-goers content to see yet another Batman movie and plop down $9.50 for the privilege, I thought about reboots.

This is the third movie in this new Batman origin-story reboot. We all just saw the Spiderman reboot with its completely new origin-story. Next year we’ll be treated to yet another Superman reboot, with presumably a totally new take on Big Blue’s origins.

That’s when it hit me: WHY NOT REBOOT BLOG POSTS??

That’s right. Just post on the same subject over and over, with a slightly different take each time!

Considering my sharply limited time (and my failing memory, which makes subject repetition almost inevitable), I am SO THERE.

So: I’m rebooting my original post on self-driving cars.

… Okay, all of the above is complete bullshit. I clicked a link to a story on self-driving cars this morning, found it interesting, and jumped into writing about it — pre-coffee, I’ll add in my defense — before I started thinking “Hey, this sounds waaaay familiar.” I searched my own blog and found the post from February. Pooh. Double pooh because I LIKED the way the new article was coming together.

Oh, whatthehell, here:

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Did you know Nevada passed a law that will allow self-driving cars on the state’s roadways? True fact.

Watch Out! Self-Driving Cars Approved in Nevada

Look Ma, No Hands: Google’s Self-Driving Car

Since my new career involves driving, this will put me out of a job. I predict the development will idle plenty of us — truck drivers, chauffeurs, limo drivers.

In that glorious near-future, Moms will stay at home while the family car goes and fetches junior from day care. Kids will run screaming up and down the aisle of school buses, while the robot driver placidly focuses on traffic.

Soon, airplanes will be flown by computerized pilots, while air traffic controllers sit in lonely towers playing Minesweeper and Angry Birds. Cruise ship guests invited to eat at the Captain’s Table will sit in uncomfortable silence next to a gray box emblazoned with an Apple logo.  Cab drivers ranting about traffic will now have a Microsoft accent rather than a middle-Eastern one.

We vehicle operators will become Ob. So. Lete.

On the other hand, one of the great things about riding a horse along backcountry trails, as I used to do in the John Muir Wilderness in California, is that if you fall asleep in the saddle after a long day (and yes, it’s possible to do that), the horse will take you safely home. Now that same care — say after an evening of heavy drinking — will be lavished on you by your car.

I, for one, welcome our soon-to-come transportation overlords.

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Good, eh? As for the rest, send your $9.50 to:

Hank Fox’s LameAss Excuse for a Blog Post
PO Box 123XG14%!
Schenectady, New York, 12302

I may have a few extra sets of 3D glasses around here somewhere, too.

  • sw

    What gets me is that, in only a few generations, people will look back at today and say “wow, we used to trust *people* to drive cars? That’s so crazy!”.

  • stuartvo

    Tough one. Who do I trust more: Software made by Microsoft, or the human drivers that deliberately swerve to hit animals on the roadside?

    If I think about this too much, I might just scare myself into never going on to the roads again.


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