“Your Ass Is Mine!” Say Relentless Brick Snakes

You don’t have a hope in hell of escape.

Barricade yourself behind thick walls in brick buildings, the snakes will find you. They will get to you. They will show you no mercy. While you sleep, their patient, unceasing pursuit of your tender flesh will go on.

This is what you have bought, sacrilegious faithless humans! Upsetting God’s natural order, risking His Awesome Wrath, you have driven the rapid evolution of deadly Geometric Brick Snakes!

Flickr member kasiahalka has an entire sequence on the black rat snake above, apparently taken in Mossy Creek, Candler, North Carolina, just two months ago.

The video below, with the slightly yokel-ish narration, speaks for itself. This time, not even Jesus can save us.

  • Nepenthe

    Awww, lookit the bebeh snakeh!

    Sorry, it’s involuntary.

  • stuartvo

    So that was the inspiration for the “Snake” game found on Nokia phones.

  • NancyNew

    Thanks to a herpatologist student teacher in my 7th grade science class and terrific parents who supported me by letting me bring home any snake I could catch, I’ve been fortunate enough to watch black rat snakes climb. Her name was Pricilla, and she was 4 ft long. Coolest thing evah!

    Also unexpected and charming–they dip their heads into water and suck it in–it looks a little like a horse, dipping its head to take a drink.

  • Tsu Dho Nimh


    Wonder what sort of sensory feedback they get from the belly scales to know when they have a good spot to climb.

    • Hank Fox

      One bite from a radioactive Brick Snake, and you’ll know. Your “snake sense” will suddenly thunder with feedback from those new belly scales.

      “Snakey-Man, Snakey-Man, does whatever a snakey can …”

      • Aliasalpha

        “lays around, absorbs the heat, occasionally bites walker’s feet”?

        • F

          Aye. That’s the one.

  • http://peopleofpublictransport.wordpress.com Zinc Avenger (Sarcasm Tags 3.0 Compliant)

    I, for one, welcome our new geometrically-aligned overlords.

  • Kate from Iowa

    Ee! So cute! I kind of want to snake-bait my building now!

  • Sgaile-beairt


  • Crudely Wrott

    Relying on a snake to seal a stair step crack in brick work is not wise. They tend to get hungry and wander off. I recommend either a good siloconised latex caulk or a tuck and point job done by a qualified mason. Also check for settling of the foundation which is the usual cause of such cracking.

  • MaryL

    Didn’t know snakes were Mondrian fans !

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