Seeing the World Through Sane-Colored Glasses

lastWarningLest we forget, “The Crazy” is totally still out there.

I’m probably reminding ME more than you. I’ve made an effort to be saner, to get all the religious craziness out of my head, and I’ve succeeded (with the religion part anyway) so well that I never think in any religious or superstitious way at all. I tend to tune out the nuttier stuff.

As a result — is it the Dunning-Kruger Effect? — I always think the world around me is fairly sane. I’m prone to see humans as rational and compassionate, with the individual exceptions as rarities.

But … read this:

  • America will be the tribulation political Babylon.
  • God will cause America to be the first country to follow the Antichrist.
  • America and its allies will defeat Russia and the Shiite Muslims in a nuclear war that God will start.
  • The tribulation wars will all be fought in the first half of the tribulation period, and there will be peace between countries in the second half of the tribulation.
  • There will be a pre-tribulation rapture of the church and a middle tribulation rapture of the dead believers from the first half of the tribulation at the blowing of the seventh trumpet judgment.
  • The blowing of the seventh trumpet starts the second half of the tribulation period.
  • The ozone and hydrogen layers of the atmosphere will most likely be burned up when a nuclear bomb explodes over the mountains of Israel and the heavens roll up as a scroll at the time of the sixth seal judgment. Ozone is a triple oxygen molecule.
  • Oxygen + Hydrogen + heat = H2O (water vapor) and greater heat.
  • The water vapor will condense into torrential rains and great hailstones.
  • Global warming will occur because the sun will become seven times stronger and the earth will burn as an oven.
  • Jesus will cause a permanent solar eclipse to form over Israel so that the elect can survive, but America, the homeland of the Antichrist, will freeze.
  • The New Jerusalem, which will be a city in the shape of a cube, will descend toward earth and be suspended between the gravity of the moon and the earth over Israel. The city will be 1500 miles wide, 1500 miles long and 1500 miles high.
  • God told Daniel that at the time of the end, when men run to and fro and knowledge is increased, the wise will understand the prophecies for the end of time. Since it is the end of time, Christians should try to understand.

So … what the heck did that just say? The sentence “Ozone is a triple oxygen molecule” catches my attention for the way it just sort of hangs there on its own, a complete non sequitur compared to anything around it. But the bit about the sun getting “seven times stronger” while “America, the homeland of the Antichrist, will freeze” contains such a rational disconnect I’m not sure it’s even worth commenting on. And the rest? Gah.

But get this: This is from the website of the National Limestone Quarry — your go-to place for quality limestone AND loony-tunes Bible prophecy.

When I see televangelists on TV, I generally get a powerful sense that I’m looking at slick con men. But when I see these small-time godders, earnest and intense, I see someone pathetically otherworldly.  To the point that they come across as projecting a literal cry for help regarding serious mental problems.

I’ve been saying for years that the American Psychological Association should designate a category of mental disorder called “religious illness.”

But … they’re not going to, are they? The outcry would stain the entire profession, and might even wipe the organization out of existence.

Which is yet another scary example of how much of a grip religion has on the world, especially the United States.

Print Friendly

  • dd

    “The city will be 1500 miles wide, 1500 miles long and 1500 miles high.”

    Hey, THAT might actually be big enough to hold two of every animal. :D

  • AsqJames

    The New Jerusalem, which will be a city in the shape of a cube, will descend toward earth and be suspended between the gravity of the moon and the earth over Israel.

    They’ve missed out the part where the Earth has suddenly started spinning on an axis perpendicular to a line passing from the center of the Earth and the bit of Israel the New Jerusalem is hovering above. Oh, and the moon has become a geostationary object somewhere further out on that line. But ignoring for the moment the incredible amounts of energy needed to make that happen, that looks like a fun little algebraic exercise:

    Use Newton’s equation for the gravitational force between 2 objects (F=G*(M1*M2)/r^2) the distance between the Earth and Moon (384,403 kilometers) and their relative masses (the Moon weighs 0.0123 Earths) to calculate the height above Israel of the New Jerusalem.

    For a bonus mark, if Jesus’ donkey walks flies straight up at 5 km/h how long will it take Jesus to travel from Israel to the New Jerusalem

    • http://www.facebook.com/using.reason usingreason

      Is this supposed to be some sort of Lagrange point, because it’s going to be damn hard to breathe in that place if so.

    • http://www.etsy.com/shop/LDORIGINALS Dalillama, Schmott Guy

      Well, the moon has to have become geostationary, hasn’t it? Otherwise you couldn’t have a permanent eclipse over Israel. Now, this means the moon has to be under constant thrust, because Israel is most of the damn way to the Tropic of Cancer, which is way the hell outside of the available geosynchronous orbit slots. I don’t even want to try to calculate the thrust Jesus must be able to deliver in this scenario.

      • bradleybetts

        ” I don’t even want to try to calculate the thrust Jesus must be able to deliver”

        Mary Magdalene must have been a lucky woman :)

        …Yes, I’m childish.

  • Chrisetti

    I can’t be the only one expecting to apocalypse to come in the form of a Borg invasion from that description.

    Nuclear war – (The Third World war that Jefram Cochrane survives?
    believers scooped up into heaven – Like the Borg did to the Federation colonies along the neutral zone?
    ‘The New jerusalem’ sounds like a larger version of a Borg Cube – Perhaps a fusion cube from Armada II?

    Resistance is Futile.

    • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1017276335 Strewth

      No no, this cube is Jerusalem. They’re the BERG.

      • busterggi

        This is worse than when they sank the Titanic.

      • brianwestley

        So, not from the Kuiper belt, but the Borscht belt?

  • peterh

    We’ve had numerous nuclear explosions – only two of them in a wartime circumstance – and the ozone layer is (pretty much) still there; but that must be why the “hydrogen layer” simply doesn’t exist.

  • maximiien

    And Lunacy will rule- organised frrom the Moon where the head lunatic,who was once th Fuehrer of The Repoublican Party, rules.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1468751142 Kevin

    Oh you’ve only barely touched on the crazy.

    There’s the Illuminati and the New World Order and the Masons (what?! My dad’s a Mason. Who knew he was so evil?) and the lizard people and the coming war between the lizard people and the gray aliens and HAARP and chemtrails and about a bazillion other things that dangle on top of one another.

    I think we have a serious problem in this country with critical thinking. Sadly, it all ties back to the fact that just about 100% of these people also believe there is a cosmic Jewish zombie who walked on water and rose himself from the dead who is coming back any second to kick some ass because we’re not sufficiently obsequious to his daddy.

    People who believe in that shit will believe anything. And it shows.

  • quantheory

    There is no “hydrogen layer”, since hydrogen is light enough to escape into space. It’s not a major component of the atmosphere except at the edge of space, where there’s not exactly a lot of ozone. Of course, there are bigger problems here anyway…

  • Didaktylos

    @#3 – I’ve just had a vision of an alien race called the Borgons – the Borg have been taken over by the Vogons and are about to inflict poetry upon us all …

    • dogmeat

      “Oh freddled gruntbuggly/thy micturations are to me/As plurdled gabbleblotchits on a lurgid bee.
      Groop I implore thee, my foonting turlingdromes. And hooptiously drangle me with crinkly bindlewurdles,
      Or I will rend thee in the gobberwarts with my blurglecruncheon, see if I don’t, resistance is futile!”

  • busterggi

    And afterwards Michael Bay will make a movie about it all.

  • Ichthyic

    And afterwards Michael Bay will make a movie about it all.

    let me guess. the title will be: “Hell”.

    and it will be an endless loop of the “best” of Michael Bay.

    *rips hair out in anticipation*

  • http://www.etsy.com/shop/LDORIGINALS Dalillama, Schmott Guy

    …so well that I never think in any religious or superstitious way at all. I tend to tune out the nuttier stuff.

    As a result — is it the Dunning-Kruger Effect? — I always think the world around me is fairly sane. I’m prone to see humans as rational and compassionate, with the individual exceptions as rarities.

    I totally hear you on this one. I wasn’t raised religious, so I don’t at all have the mental constructs needed to deal with this crap. Even relatively mild expressions of religiosity tend to make me feel like someone suddenly and for no apparent reason put underpants on their head, stuck pencils in both nostrils and said ‘bibble’. This kind of thing just mystifies me completely.

  • mildlymagnificent

    Yep. My dad was a mason too.

    Trying to envisage him and his mates conspiring with communists(!) and other oogedy-boogedy ne’er-do-wells gives my imagination cramps.

    • bradleybetts

      Yeah mine is too. From what information I’ve gathered it’s a bunch of middle aged men who dress up in funny outfits and perform a bunch of silly rituals based on a vaguely Deist philosophy, the aim of which is some vaguely-defined path of self improvement, before eating incredibly nice food and getting incredibly sloshed on very expensive booze.

      I’d join myself, except part of the entry requirements is a belief in a “Supreme Being”. You are not required to define that Being, it’s left open-ended so as to be available to people of all faiths, but you do need to believe in some version, which obviously counts me out. Which is a shame, they’re a great organisation. Second biggest charitable organisation in the UK, apparently. Absolutely nothing evil or conspiratorial about them.

  • jeroenmetselaar

    You fleck of nitpickers

  • Thorne

    Absolutely nothing evil or conspiratorial about them.

    That’s what they WANT you to believe!

  • http://NikeAirMax90Black Nike Air Max 90 Black

    hello,my friend,how are you


CLOSE | X

HIDE | X