Chips Ahoy! Gadzooks! And Oh, This Poor Woman.

OMGChipSHARE THIS AS MUCH AS YOU CAN!!!! THESE CHIPS ARE REAL!!! AND ALREADY BEING INJECTED INTO UNWILLING AMERICANS!!!

In addition to your medical records, banking records, etc., every one of these RADIO FREQUENCY ID chips will contain a locator device, allowing government agents to know where you are every second, and listen in on your private conversations. If you say anything the government doesn’t like, you can be fired from your job and never be able to work again!

Chips implanted in men contain potent mind-altering drugs which force radical changes in personality. In addition to causing a violent aversion to handling or owning guns or Bibles, the chips cause men in the northern states to become permanently impotent and begin speaking French, those in the Deep South to engage in hyperactive group homosexual activity while watching cooking shows on TV, and then all go out and get matching “666″ neck tattoos.

Further, the radiation output of the chips has been shown to interfere with the electronic ignition systems of NASCAR racers, and makes coon hounds refuse to hunt!

Each chip implanted in a white woman comes filled with a sample of President Obama’s sperm, which will make its way through her bloodstream and force her to bear a Negro baby programmed from birth to say “Let me axe you a question” and wear his pants down around his thighs while simultaneously converting to radical Islam.

Finally, the chips implanted in Hispanic women will cause them to vote for Democratic candidates, have countless anchor babies, and send bus tickets to pregnant female relatives in Mexico. The chips also contain detailed instructions for filling out applications for food stamps, welfare and permanent disability.

This is absolutely true, already checked with Snopes, so don’t bother!!!

And it’s all happening March 23. True fact.

——————————————————————

I just thank Jesus that a well-informed, caring Christian lady (Facebook link) alerted me to this evil plot. Okay, some of her details are different from the ones I totally made up here on my own. But still.

When some lefty heckler tried to bring up Snopes.com, she responded appropriately:

Good thing I don’t believe in snopes!!! The ONE thing and the ONLY thing I do believe in ~ is GOD and his word

Yes, I feel a little bit guilty to be poking fun at her. She’s probably this innocent, nice person who doesn’t deserve to be laughed at. But then again, she IS propagating this stuff, deliberately conveying it to people who may have no defense against the lies. She’s apparently also deliberately deleting comments she doesn’t like, such as those which are disrespectfully laughing at the absolute ridiculousness of the thing.

At the moment I post this, her “alert” has been shared 159,462 times on Facebook. We are so doomed.

——————————————————————

Nice Christian Lady, if you ever see this, I don’t hate you. I’m poking fun not to hurt your feelings, but to provide some backpressure for others to the kinds of things you’re saying here. There are other people listening and watching, and they deserve more from me, I think, than to stand by politely, saving your feelings, while you unwittingly spread falsehoods.

I’d like you to entertain this one thought: The people who originally made you aware of this awful microchip plot, posing as your friends and protectors, warning you against your own evil government and its horrendous plots to destroy the American way of life … those people may not be your friends. Some of them might be your worst enemies — people who have no caring or conscience and see you only as some sort of manipulable “unit” they can run back and forth for their own amusement or profit.

Let me put it in terms you can relate to: If Satan was going to come to earth and cause as much misery as possible, would he come looking like a 70-foot-tall red devil, with horns and pitchfork? Or would he come looking like Mother Teresa, all sweet and defenseless, looking like someone’s harmless old grandmother?

You can imagine that that first appearance would put people on their guard, and nobody would take any of his deals. But that second one, millions of us would cozy up to him (her) and believe every sweet word.

Sadly, the people you think are on your side, telling you God’s own truth, might instead be liars and parasites, out to destroy your mind, destroy your life, attaching themselves to you so they can suck money and allegiance out of you like ticks suck blood out of dogs. (And coincidentally persuading you to do something that makes you look like a complete fool.)

Yes, I’m poking fun at you, and it hurts. But I’m also warning you. It just might be that *I* am not your enemy. The person who sent you this RFID chip warning might be your enemy. The people who want you to be afraid, rather than informed, the ones who lie to you every damned day on Fox News and such, they might be your enemy. Even the sweet, loving people who own and operate your church might be your enemy.

If they lie to you, if they treat you like you’re stupid, like you don’t deserve to know the truth — even if they save your feelings — THEY ARE.

Your one defense against those people is your own mind, and the minds of others who have seen through the lies.

(BTW, Snopes.com, as near as I can tell — and I’ve checked, miss, more than once — is a factually honest site with no axe to grind. They really do look into things, they really do try to report honestly, and when they make mistakes they correct them.)

There’s hope in that a lot of us were once where you are, and managed to escape. There’s help out there in the free thought community. (Hey, I even have a book that will clue you in to the way we ungodly people think! If nothing else, you’ll see into the mind of your satanic enemy.)

You can be a skeptic, an unbeliever, or even an atheist, as I am, and still be loving, compassionate, generous, a good mother and neighbor, and a kind, caring member of your community.

Anyway, best of luck. You have a long, long way to go, but it’s a journey both possible and positive.

——————————————————————

In case the original Facebook post vanishes, a screen grab:

screencapture

 

The Book of Good Living: How to Avoid Being Killed By A Train
Actual Proof There Is No God
Don’t Eat This.
Short Stack # 22

CLOSE | X

HIDE | X