Sundaily Hilarity: God Answers Prayer Of Paralyzed Little Boy

An Onion classic from 1998:

SAN FRANCISCO–For as long as he can remember, 7-year-old Timmy Yu has had one precious dream: From the bottom of his heart, he has hoped against hope that God would someday hear his prayer to walk again. Though many thought Timmy’s heavenly plea would never be answered, his dream finally came true Monday, when the Lord personally responded to the wheelchair-bound boy’s prayer with a resounding no.

“I knew that if I just prayed hard enough, God would hear me,” said the joyful Timmy, surrounded by stuffed animals sent by well-wishing Christians from around the globe, as he sat in the wheelchair to which he will be confined for the rest of his life. “And now my prayer has been answered. I haven’t been this happy since before the accident, when I could walk and play with the other children like a normal boy.”

And the loving God spoke expressed His loving thought process directly when reached for comment:

“This kind-hearted child’s simple prayer hath moved Me. Never before have I seen such faith. His trusting soul, so full of innocent devotion to Me, hath offered seventy times seven prayers asking, ‘God? Can I please walk again?’ It was indeed right and fitting that I, in My infinite wisdom, should share with him the One True Answer to this long-repeated question he put before Me.”

“My will be done,” God added.

Your Thoughts?

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About Daniel Fincke

Dr. Daniel Fincke  has his PhD in philosophy from Fordham University and spent 11 years teaching in college classrooms. He wrote his dissertation on Ethics and the philosophy of Friedrich Nietzsche. On Camels With Hammers, the careful philosophy blog he writes for a popular audience, Dan argues for atheism and develops a humanistic ethical theory he calls “Empowerment Ethics”. Dan also teaches affordable, non-matriculated, video-conferencing philosophy classes on ethics, Nietzsche, historical philosophy, and philosophy for atheists that anyone around the world can sign up for. (You can learn more about Dan’s online classes here.) Dan is an APPA  (American Philosophical Practitioners Association) certified philosophical counselor who offers philosophical advice services to help people work through the philosophical aspects of their practical problems or to work out their views on philosophical issues. (You can read examples of Dan’s advice here.) Through his blogging, his online teaching, and his philosophical advice services each, Dan specializes in helping people who have recently left a religious tradition work out their constructive answers to questions of ethics, metaphysics, the meaning of life, etc. as part of their process of radical worldview change.

  • Nikki Bluue

    Hmm. My cold analysis? The boy prolly woke up and realized the harsh reality…and suddenly felt “peace” with that reality. He didn’t resign, but accepted and embraced that reality.

    It does happen—people have sudden epiphanies and gave them sharp clarity and inner peace. People, imho, sometimes mistake that for “god” answering their pleas.

    I remember when I was 9 or 10, I told a couple of school friends that I would “become un-deaf” for my birthday. My BD party came and one friend said “You said you would become un-deaf?”. The reality kind of crept in quickly there. After the party, I thought about what she said. Soon afterwards, I slowly accepted my deafness over the years.

    For some, this “acceptance/embrace” is quicker. I am glad Timmy Yu’s embrace was quick—it would mean life will be psychologically easier for him in the long run. I wish mine came at a younger age, and faster. Cheers, Timmy.

  • Eric Steinhart

    My grandfather, a good-old-fashioned fundamentalist minister, used to say “God always answers prays. The answer is usually ‘no’.”

  • Sarah Williams

    Occasionally there is the assumption that if one has sufficient faith, the answer will always be “yes.” This assumption leads to feelings of inadequacy and failure. More creatively, it leads to a twisted denial/assurance that I heard recently expressed this way: “I praise God daily for the on-going healing of my grandchild.”

  • Marie lou

    Timmy has a child like Faith , who ever told him that God’s answer to his plea has been denied? Who says it was from God , how can anyone be so sure it was an answer from God.God’s promises for us is to get healed.No one should ever tell Timmy that it was God’s answer.This is not a Faith building testimony. Stop diabling his Faith.

  • Marie lou

    I want to know how timmy yu is doing, I hope he didn’t give up his faith which has a great. People will just destroy his child like Faith by telling him that God said NO to his petition for healing not toget ” who said this? I want to communicate to Timmy Yu.

  • Daniel Fincke

    The inability to tell satire from news in these comments is distressing.