Daily Hilarity: The Memo To Shred All Memos

Ben Greenman’s “Paper Trail”:

January 3
To all employees:
Please shred all documents.

– –

January 4
To all employees:
Yesterday’s memorandum was incomplete. It should have read, “Please shred all documents, including this one.”

– –

January 5
To all employees:
Yesterday’s memorandum should also have been shredded. We apologize for the oversight.

– –

January 6
To all employees:
Once again, yesterday’s memorandum was missing an important postscript. After the final sentence, it should have read: “P.S. Please shred this memo as well.”

P.S. Please shred this memo as well.

– –

January 7
To all employees:
Do not shred this memorandum. Allow it to remain intact, and to serve as the exception that proves the rule. We cannot say any more than this, but this should be enough.

– –

January 10
To all employees:
Over the weekend, upper-level executives met and clarified the shredding policy. Here is the new policy:

Keep reading.

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About Daniel Fincke

Dr. Daniel Fincke  has his PhD in philosophy from Fordham University and spent 11 years teaching in college classrooms. He wrote his dissertation on Ethics and the philosophy of Friedrich Nietzsche. On Camels With Hammers, the careful philosophy blog he writes for a popular audience, Dan argues for atheism and develops a humanistic ethical theory he calls “Empowerment Ethics”. Dan also teaches affordable, non-matriculated, video-conferencing philosophy classes on ethics, Nietzsche, historical philosophy, and philosophy for atheists that anyone around the world can sign up for. (You can learn more about Dan’s online classes here.) Dan is an APPA  (American Philosophical Practitioners Association) certified philosophical counselor who offers philosophical advice services to help people work through the philosophical aspects of their practical problems or to work out their views on philosophical issues. (You can read examples of Dan’s advice here.) Through his blogging, his online teaching, and his philosophical advice services each, Dan specializes in helping people who have recently left a religious tradition work out their constructive answers to questions of ethics, metaphysics, the meaning of life, etc. as part of their process of radical worldview change.