The “Redneck” Blue Collar Atheist has worked with plenty of animals in his time and apparently he can get deep piles of bull shit on demand and he’s threatening to use as much of it as necessary to counter my latest sally in our escalating blog war:
With the slap of my challenge glove still stinging on his face, lightning-quick Daniel Fincke whipped out his rapier and carved a 2,600 attack onto my chest! The agony!
The worst of it is, I never completed my training in Philosophy. I was first in my class in Bookish Nerd. Achieved gold-star speckled certificates of merit in Internet Addiction. Gained royal notice in my teen years and achieved a widely-lauded Knighthood in Masturbation Fantasy. Won a Gold Medal in the 2010 Atheist Olympics.
But Philosophy? I’m a complete amateur. And I’m facing a Jedi Master.
Just in his first attack, he has overcome my guardian droids, escaped the Mighty Sarlaac, and freed the princess.
I stand alone now, barely armed, quivering under his proudly lifted chin, the confident glow of his Philosopher-Academic aura, the earnest intent of his poised verbal blade.
Now what? I can’t run. Can’t fight him on his own ground. Sweet Baby Jesus, if only I’d kept my big mouth shut.
But wait! I’m suddenly remembering something my former Master — Gary Leffew, 1970 World Champion Bull Rider — taught me:
“If You Can’t Dazzle ‘Em With Brilliance … Baffle ‘Em With Bullshit!”
Ha! This I can do.
“Hold, Mighty Sir Daniel! I beg a brief delay, whilst I mop up the blood, and fetch my shovel.”
Little does he realize, the poor fool, that a philosopher’s light saber slices right through bullshit. Only reality is thick enough to make us struggle.