Satanic Smurfs and Hilarious Unintended Sexual Double Entendres Galore

This just has to be seen to be believed.

Via Unreasonable Faith which also relays a video on the dangers of Pokemon while they’re at it.

Your Thoughts?

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About Daniel Fincke

Dr. Daniel Fincke  has his PhD in philosophy from Fordham University and spent 11 years teaching in college classrooms. He wrote his dissertation on Ethics and the philosophy of Friedrich Nietzsche. On Camels With Hammers, the careful philosophy blog he writes for a popular audience, Dan argues for atheism and develops a humanistic ethical theory he calls “Empowerment Ethics”. Dan also teaches affordable, non-matriculated, video-conferencing philosophy classes on ethics, Nietzsche, historical philosophy, and philosophy for atheists that anyone around the world can sign up for. (You can learn more about Dan’s online classes here.) Dan is an APPA  (American Philosophical Practitioners Association) certified philosophical counselor who offers philosophical advice services to help people work through the philosophical aspects of their practical problems or to work out their views on philosophical issues. (You can read examples of Dan’s advice here.) Through his blogging, his online teaching, and his philosophical advice services each, Dan specializes in helping people who have recently left a religious tradition work out their constructive answers to questions of ethics, metaphysics, the meaning of life, etc. as part of their process of radical worldview change.

  • NewEnglandBob

    These people are batshit crazy lunatics. They are scary. I hope none of them live anywhere near me.

  • Glodson

    I approve of this insanity. It really highlights the idea that religion can rot your brain. For every poor sucker that listens to this crap, there’s got to be two(at least) that start having doubt.

    And doubt is good. Doubt is the start.

  • Ms. Crazy Pants

    Don’t forget smurfs all gang-bang smurfette, just like they like to do to women in the bible. Oh…guess that makes them biblical?

    Oh, and smurfs were happy all the time, and we know that happiness never got anyone into heaven.

  • Zeno

    “Pastor” Lorna Cahoon? How is she a pastor? St. Paul says he does not suffer a woman to preach in church! (She must be satanic!)

  • Kyle

    “Nobody does you like Jesus does you”. Reminds me of the South Park episode “Christian Rock Hard”.

  • Sastra

    Back in the 80′s when my children were very young I had an otherwise rational Born Again friend who evidently belonged to one of these churches. The toys that were allowed and not allowed in her home had to meet what seemed to me to be strange and arbitrary standards on what was, and what wasn’t, demonic. The “My Little Pony” dolls were banned — but only in some cases, not others. Her 3-year-old son could not have any pony which had mythical elements such as wings or a unicorn horn. Only the “natural”-looking ponies were okay.

    According to my friend — who was intelligent and articulate — this rule was supported by two reasons:

    1.) exposure to magical images which were NOT specifically “of God” could cause her son to start thinking God’s magic was as fake or mythical as that of the phony ponies.

    2.) the presence of ungodly magic images in the house could change the atmosphere of the house in such a way as to allow demons to enter.

    Additional questioning on my part (I was fascinated by this) eventually caused her to get confused and refer to the church’s authority. My pointing out that the “natural”-looking ponies were still bright pink and blue and other unnatural colors exasperated her: c’mon, Christianity was strict but not THAT strict. She thought. Maybe. She should probably ask her pastor about that, now that I brought it up.

    I moved away and we lost touch, but I’ve sometimes wondered if my otherwise-reasonable friend managed to stay in that church. She’d joined it when she married her (much older) husband. She’d been raised agnostic — and clearly had no problems letting a godless atheist into her home. My guess is that she left it.

  • David in NZ


    These people are batshit crazy lunatics. They are scary. I wish they lived near me so I could point and laugh every time I saw them in the street.

  • Jason Thibeault

    The Picard double facepalms are a little overused, I think. Appropriate, but the video editor probably could have used them to better effect by doing it a little less often.

    That aside, wow. “You gotta get intimate with him and when you do, you’ll realize how much he loves us”?

    I’d posted the “part 1″ about Pokemon here last week, seems it’s going viral through the blogosphere. You guys will also want to check out this preacher who did the Pokemon Are Demons thing long, long before these goobers.

  • sumdum

    Don’t know what to think of this. Look at all the crazies and their crazy beliefs. Yeah we knew that already.

  • Tisha Irwin

    Wait, wait, wait. Did I hear that right? You’ve got to lay in God’s lap and Jesus will “stroke your head”? Those Westboro idiots are obviously on the wrong track.

    I had to laugh at the line about laying your hands on the air while driving by an accident. And it doesn’t matter that you don’t know them, God does.

    So basically you’re saying God is sitting up there, knowing someone was just in a terrible accident, but isn’t going to do anything until someone comes along and says the magic word?

    Prayer seems to be the biggest hole in Christian theology. I’ve yet to hear anyone give a cogent explanation of how prayer is supposed to do anything, really.

  • Kiwi Sauce

    SSDD: when I was 14, one of my friends got rid of all his AC/DC albums at once of those “burn satanic records and books” gatherings. I recall thinking it was a complete waste of money at the time.

    One incidentally amusing, related anecdote: just prior to this occurring, the AC/DD album Dirty deeds done dirt cheap came out and I wrote the album name on my back of my hand to remind myself to ask Rob if he had bought the album. I was 14, in a co-ed school, and excruciatingly shy. However, I still have the habit of writing notes on the back of my hand.