What Would JT Do…When Propositioned For Sex By A Married Woman…

JT shares an intimate story about apprehensively taking up a polyamorist married woman on her invitation for sex:

On the way to her house I asked her where her husband was that night.

“At home” came the thoughtless reply.  Oh fuck.

And like that we were walking into her house.  Within seconds Chris, her husband, came over to give me a hug.  He seemed genuinely excited to see me.  He didn’t seem awkward at all!  I thought that he must not know!  And here I had just made out with his wife.  My stomach sank.  I sat down in the kitchen and Christina and Chris went about making dinner.  As nonchalant as a man ordering a cheeseburger he asked me how I was.  I’m a fan of honesty almost all the time, so I decided to come out with it.

“I’m good.  I admit though, I’m a little uneasy about this.  I’ve never…um…y’know…been physical with a married person before.”

And he smiled!  He actually smiled!  I was waiting for the other shoe to drop.  Surely this was a facade and the guy was going to punch me at any second for this whole scenario.  I think Christina was aware of what was going through my head because she pointed directly at me, looked at Chris, smiled, and said, “I’m going to have sex with this man.”

Again, Chris smiled, almost laughing.  “Cool” he said, and went right back to making chicken fried rice.  We proceeded to talk over dinner about polyamory, about Chris’s girlfriend, and about physical fitness.  It was actually very pleasant.  Chris and Christina hugged and kissed – they were a perfectly adorable couple.  Finally, it came time

Read More.

My arms-length musings on some of the pros and cons of open relationships are in the forms of debates between the fictional characters Jaime and Kelly:

A Debate About The Value of Permanent Promiscuity and

Moral Perfectionism, Moral Pragmatism, Free Love Ethics, and Adultery

Neither character in my dialogues speaks for polyamorists and my philosophical focus is limited to certain questions about the value of constraining our abilities to love. But the commenters on those posts provide rich information and debate about multiple facets of polyamory which are worth reading in depth.

Your Thoughts?

Patheos Atheist LogoLike Camels With Hammers and Patheos Atheist on Facebook!

About Daniel Fincke

Dr. Daniel Fincke  has his PhD in philosophy from Fordham University and spent 11 years teaching in college classrooms. He wrote his dissertation on Ethics and the philosophy of Friedrich Nietzsche. On Camels With Hammers, the careful philosophy blog he writes for a popular audience, Dan argues for atheism and develops a humanistic ethical theory he calls “Empowerment Ethics”. Dan also teaches affordable, non-matriculated, video-conferencing philosophy classes on ethics, Nietzsche, historical philosophy, and philosophy for atheists that anyone around the world can sign up for. (You can learn more about Dan’s online classes here.) Dan is an APPA  (American Philosophical Practitioners Association) certified philosophical counselor who offers philosophical advice services to help people work through the philosophical aspects of their practical problems or to work out their views on philosophical issues. (You can read examples of Dan’s advice here.) Through his blogging, his online teaching, and his philosophical advice services each, Dan specializes in helping people who have recently left a religious tradition work out their constructive answers to questions of ethics, metaphysics, the meaning of life, etc. as part of their process of radical worldview change.