JT shares an intimate story about apprehensively taking up a polyamorist married woman on her invitation for sex:
On the way to her house I asked her where her husband was that night.
“At home” came the thoughtless reply. Oh fuck.
And like that we were walking into her house. Within seconds Chris, her husband, came over to give me a hug. He seemed genuinely excited to see me. He didn’t seem awkward at all! I thought that he must not know! And here I had just made out with his wife. My stomach sank. I sat down in the kitchen and Christina and Chris went about making dinner. As nonchalant as a man ordering a cheeseburger he asked me how I was. I’m a fan of honesty almost all the time, so I decided to come out with it.
“I’m good. I admit though, I’m a little uneasy about this. I’ve never…um…y’know…been physical with a married person before.”
And he smiled! He actually smiled! I was waiting for the other shoe to drop. Surely this was a facade and the guy was going to punch me at any second for this whole scenario. I think Christina was aware of what was going through my head because she pointed directly at me, looked at Chris, smiled, and said, “I’m going to have sex with this man.”
Again, Chris smiled, almost laughing. “Cool” he said, and went right back to making chicken fried rice. We proceeded to talk over dinner about polyamory, about Chris’s girlfriend, and about physical fitness. It was actually very pleasant. Chris and Christina hugged and kissed – they were a perfectly adorable couple. Finally, it came time
My arms-length musings on some of the pros and cons of open relationships are in the forms of debates between the fictional characters Jaime and Kelly:
Neither character in my dialogues speaks for polyamorists and my philosophical focus is limited to certain questions about the value of constraining our abilities to love. But the commenters on those posts provide rich information and debate about multiple facets of polyamory which are worth reading in depth.