Presented without further comment:
Last night, when I got on the subway, I noticed an older, balding white man wearing a white T-shirt. The front of his shirt read, in multicolored block letters, “I’m so happy I’m saved,” and the back read, over a backdrop of flames, “I won’t have to spend eternity in the lake of fire. P.S.: There won’t be a drink of water there!”
As the train pulled away from the station, a young black man entered the car. He announced that he was down on his luck, was trying to collect money for food, and would rather get it by begging than by robbing or mugging. He said he would sing for us in exchange for donations, and launched into an a cappella rendition of “Lean on Me”.
Mr. Evangelical, who was standing right next to the young man, responded by hunching over, grimacing, and sticking his fingers in his ears.