From the Mailbag: Weekend Kookery Edition

The last time I did a post like this, it was to share some of the more uplifting and inspiring e-mails I received. This one is headed in a different direction. Here, for your reading pleasure and amusement, enjoy this selection of kookery culled from e-mails I’ve gotten, as well as the occasional preaching comment I’ve rejected from Daylight Atheism.

First up, there’s this from “wayofthegoldenlion”, which starts off as standard creationist drivel but builds up steam as it goes, until it suddenly blasts off into awesome heights of lunacy:

As for myself, I believe that science has proved that there has to be a creator (The best mathematicians, physicists, biologists, astronomers,etc all admit they cannot explain how the DNA data gets into each cell/gene and can only be put there by intelligent design. But a campaign of disinformation from the atheist scientific communtity was exposed on British TV (I have the documentary), that proves that even the atheists admitted in secret scientific unpublished journals that all organic life in the universe had to come from a designer creator, and cannot appear randomly. The documentary exposed these findings and carried the atheist scientists through to their final statement and conclusion (which was pretty weak) that all artificial intelligence can appear randomly, but they admit that all organic life has to have a creator. THAT WAS THE COVER UP! THIS WAS EXPOSED AND THE SCIENTIFIC COMMUNITY WERE INFILTRATED BY OCCULT SECRET SOCIETIES AND PAID TO NOT PUBLISH THEIR FINDINGS. (MOSTLY HIGH RANKING FREEMASONS, ROSICRUCIANS, ORDER TEMPLAR ORIENTALIS,ETC). tHE DOCUMENTARY PART 2 STATES THAT 90% OF THE SCIENTIFIC COMMUNITY DO NOT BELIEVE IN EVOLUTION BUT AGREE WITH CHRISTIANS SCIENTISTS THAT NATURAL SELECTION IS A CORRECT THESIS, BUT THEY CANNOT ADMIT THIS, BECAUSE THEIR FUNDS WILL BE STOPPED BY POWERFUL INSTITUTES CONTROLLED BY THESE OCCULT FREEMASONS/BUSINESSMEN WHO OWN MULTINATIONAL CORPORATIONS

“Secret unpublished scientific journals”. Gotta love it. There’s considerable potential here for a Christian-fundamentalist version of The Da Vinci Code – our brave hero races against time to find the secret journals and uncover the scientific conspiracy! If only we could find some bold author who’s equal to the task.

Next, this comment from “John”, who evidently doesn’t think that preaching the gospel is important enough to justify spellcheck:

hey why dont u guys jsrt stop hating on everything and chillax and read about Jesus (whose da bomb) cuz otherwise when ur dead ur gunna be like “man that dude on the athiest website knew his stuff.”

The translators of the King James Bible must be turning over in their graves. Whatever else we can say about that book, its language is often beautiful and poetic as only Shakespearean English can be. This comment – not so much. (“Verily, Jesus spake unto the multitude: ‘O ye fools and blind, can ye not discern that God the Father is da bomb?’”)

There’s also this anonymous commenter, whose keen insight allowed him to divine the true reason so many people are atheists:

WOw.. you guys are amazing. except for one thing. even if GOD did exsist you’d never know it, cause if ever He did something you’d justify and explain it away. and the reason for this is simple. most of you are addicted to porn or masturbation or alchohol or whatever(please don’t reply with what good people you are or what great things you do or how noble you are). and you want to keep doing what you are.

Curses! Found out! And we’d have gotten away with it too, if it weren’t for you meddling Christians!

Finally, there’s this e-mail I got a few weeks ago from someone with the disturbingly Naziesque handle of “The Cure”. He starts out with the usual apologetic blather, but then suddenly decides to veer in another direction and start preaching about abortion and homosexuality, despite saying he has no idea what I believe about either (it’s not hard to find out if you look). I can only surmise that the thought of “atheism” rattled around inside his brain until it activated the more general category of “things I dislike”. And why do so many homophobes target their invective at gay men and rarely, if ever, mention lesbians? Could it be that they focus on the topics they find simultaneously the most fascinating and repelling – and if so, what does that imply about them?

Dear Atheist,

I came across your website and wonder why someone would be so driven to disprove the existence of God? Perhaps your lifestyle does not line up with religious people who believe in God propagate? Just curious. Or perhaps you think hypocracy in the church disproves the existence of God. That is a fallible argument. If a man has been faithful to his wife, provided for his children, and has lived by good moral standards (although I know this is probably subjective to you), but then has a son who gets married, cheats on his wife, and abuses the children, does that disprove the existence of the father? Seriously, a hypocrite does not prove God does not exist, it just proves the Devil does!

I agree that every person is inherently designed to be able to judge between issues of morality on some level; therefore, even you could make some good judgments. But to deny the existence of something greater takes more faith than those who believe in a God.

Two topics that I believe are important to this society and its existence are homosexuality and abortion. I do not know what you believe about these, yet, by natural law even aside from any religious basis they can be judged as wrong!

I am a religious person and I do not want to be vulgar; however, I am sure you are adult enought to handle this statement. Does not common sense tells us that if two different kinds of the same species have different genitalia, and that if used together reproduction is accomplished, then they are made to live together and have a family? The rectum region is existent for both man and women. It is used by both for the same purpose. Yet, the genitalia region is used for another purpose in general; that is to reproduce. Although, the rectum region can be used between man and man to have sensual pleasure, it does not appear to have been “created” or in your terms “evolved” for that use in specific. The main use is to excrete waste. Does not common sense also tells us that since a man and women’s genitalia are in same location but are different and fit together like a puzzle, then do you not think man and women belong together? Not man and man, women and women. For just a moment, let us say that everyone decided to be in homosexual relations without the ability by modern science to reproduce in a test tube. If that had happened during the “dark ages” we would not even be here today! The homosexual life style does not promote a constructive foundation of the existence of the world, it brings it to an end!

Abortion is murder. To defend one’s life is not murder, that is justice. Capital punishment is justice. Can a baby defend itself? I think not, therefore, abortion is murder.

Perhaps you believe aborition and homosexuality to be wrong. If you do, then you have proved my premise. Even atheists can make some good jugdments. Yes, I believe you can have values; however, this society will crumble if we do not change. Our values need to be based on a higher standard, the Bible! The Roman Empire fell because of the lack of values! Two of their immoral practices were homosexuality, and senseless killing!

My purpose in writing this was to show aside from the Bible, one can prove something to be wrong by its own nature!

The Cure

The Cognitive Dissonance of Pro-LGBT Christians
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Weekend Coffee: August 30
About Adam Lee

Adam Lee is an atheist writer and speaker living in New York City. His new novel, Arc of Fire, is available in paperback and e-book. Read his full bio, or follow him on Twitter.


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