On Taking Offense, and the Easiness Thereof

I wanted to point out this comment from an ongoing discussion, because it’s such a perfect example of the kind of Christian privilege that American believers take for granted:

Well, I guess you atheists are more easily offended than me. I do not see how a statue of the Ten Commandments makes anyone a second-class citizen.

It’s certainly easy, isn’t it, for a Christian to proclaim that he wouldn’t be offended by government-sponsored denigration of his beliefs, because he’s never experienced it. I’m guessing this commenter has never had a stake in important litigation where, in order to have his case heard, he has to pass through courthouse doors beneath a massive sign reading “THOU SHALT NOT BELIEVE IN GOD”. He’s never had to buy and sell things using currency that reads “In Atheism We Trust”, or be expected to pledge his patriotism with an affirmation containing the words “one nation under no gods”. He’s never had to lobby for his rights before a Congress where only one member is an outspoken Christian and most of the rest proclaim that Christians are vile radicals who are unfit for public office. He’s never been told by his elected officials that he has no right to have them represent him, or told by one of the top jurists in the land that the law “permits the disregard” of his viewpoint.

But atheists do face equivalents of all these bigotries, and more besides. Ten Commandments monuments in courthouses are part of this, and are a reminder of the countless ways in which American believers consign atheists to second-class status.

And on that note, I have to comment on a related topic. There’s a great, thriving atheist community on Reddit, and I’ve gotten a lot of hits and feedback from posting my articles there. They’ve even accomplished some truly great and tangible things, like raising over $40,000 for Doctors Without Borders. It’s never occurred to me that any atheist would feel unwelcome there, at least until I saw these two posts on Jen McCreight’s blog.

Whenever I see that I got an uptick in traffic from reddit, I’m always afraid to go check the link. Because inevitably when someone links to my blog, many of the comments will be disparaging remarks about my gender or looks. Hell, even some of the positive comments are about my gender or looks, which are still annoying – can we please comment about the content, and not my boobs, please?

As you might expect, this resulted in a flood of comments from outraged males. Quite a few of these explained that for the grievous act of having a blog which is openly female, which doesn’t try to hide that the author is a woman, she should expect to be the target of sexist leering. Here’s one stellar specimen from Reddit:


Author at the Presidio

Fig. 1: I will not have my opinions dismissed for posting this.

It’s the equivalent of a woman dressing up like a prostitute, giving a dissertation on Lawrence Krauss’s “A Universe From Nothing” while dancing on a stripping pole, and then being surprised that someone mentions something other than Krauss’s speech.

Let’s leave aside, for the moment, the fact that Jen’s picture includes the top third of her torso, and that this is equated to “dressing up like a prostitute” and “dancing on a stripping pole”. There are plenty of popular male atheists who have pictures of themselves prominently featured on their blogs, but who (I’m guessing) hardly ever have this used against them as an excuse to dismiss or belittle their arguments. It’s women and women alone who can expect condescension and hostility merely for making it obvious what gender they are. Or as another Reddit poster put it:

You need thicker skin. It seems like you are looking to be victimized.

What this person obviously meant to say was, “By being openly female, you are looking to be victimized.” It rather puts the lie to the other commenters who said they’ve never noticed sexism on Reddit, doesn’t it?

Of course, there will always be emotionally stunted trolls who think it’s the height of wit to make sexist or racist comments and then chortle heartily if they get an outraged response. The internet, like every other human gathering place, has its troglodytes, its bigots and its yobs (which is a fantastic Britishism and I’m officially stealing it). The real issue is how the larger community responds. Does it agree that sexism is unacceptable and say so firmly? Or does it deny, minimize, or attempt to deflect responsibility? Does it belittle the woman who’s targeted, tell her that it’s “no big deal” and she should just “get over it”, or worst of all, tell her that she brought it on herself and call her a sexist for pointing it out? (This is the kind of I-know-you-are-but-what-am-I schoolyard taunting that said trolls think of as brilliant repartee.)

This is how we make the atheist community larger and stronger: when someone feels unwelcome, we take the time to find out why, and if there’s something happening that makes them feel excluded, we fix it. If you instead pour scorn on the person who speaks up, if you call them thin-skinned, easily offended, a chronic troublemaker – this is the response of bigotry, and since it’s something atheists have so often been on the receiving end of, we ought to understand that. If we want the atheist movement to be a coherent force that can effectively challenge theocratic intrusion and religious privilege, we need to stop pushing people away, and start making sure that anyone who’s on our side feels welcome among us.

Weekend Coffee: August 8
Jewish Fundamentalism Is Poisoning Israel
The Manhattan Option
Atlas Shrugged: Bare Branches
About Adam Lee

Adam Lee is an atheist writer and speaker living in New York City. His new novel, Arc of Fire, is available in paperback and e-book. Read his full bio, or follow him on Twitter.


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