The Twitter Report: The Secret Purpose of Twitter

I probably shouldn’t have said this in public, but now that the cat’s out of the bag, I might as well tell you all as well.

It all started a few days ago with a question about what the median number of Twitter followers is among active accounts. It turns out to be surprisingly low – less than 100 – and people with just 1000 followers are in the 96th percentile. This prompted me to make the following observation:

PZ rejoindered that even being in the top 1% would still put you among a vast horde, and that’s when I made the crucial slip-up.

Well, thanks to my loose tongue, the damage was done. The only thing to do at that point, I thought, was to be completely candid with everyone:

Several people raised questions about this, so the following day I had to post a followup:

I hope this resolves any remaining questions. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have the Illuminati on the other line, and I have to do some fast talking – they’re pretty upset with me for disclosing the space-ark thing, as you can imagine. But as long as I don’t reveal the even more secret connection between Reddit upvotes and the kraken-proof dome cities on the ocean floor, I’m pretty sure I can smooth things over…

Coming Soon
Announcing: Arc of Fire
Photo Sunday: Dark Sunrise
You Got Your Ideology in My Atheism!
About Adam Lee

Adam Lee is an atheist writer and speaker living in New York City. His new novel, Arc of Fire, is available in paperback and e-book. Read his full bio, or follow him on Twitter.


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