Dumbass Quote of the Day

Dumbass Quote of the Day January 2, 2012

From Rick Perry:

“Every barrel of oil that comes out of those sands in Canada is a barrel of oil that we don’t have to buy from a foreign source,” Mr. Perry said in Clarinda, earning a loud round of enthusiastic applause.

Because Canada is another country, but they look like us and sound like us so they’re not really “foreign.”

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  • hinschelwood

    Be afraid, Canada. Be very afraid.

  • Makoto

    Is he tipping his hand for a planned annexation of Canada as the 51st state? Is he substituting “foreign” for “Arab/Muslim/Middle East/other groups I want people to be scared of”? Does he think we’ll get the oil for free because it pipes here?

    So many questions for the gov of my current state, and my usual approach of “figure out the stupidest, that’s probably what he meant” isn’t helpful here…

  • daveau

    It never surprises me when he says stuff like that, because he’s an idiot. What always does surprise me, however, is the “enthusiastic applause”, instead of incredulity.

  • dingojack

    “never ascribe to stupidity…” Oh wait, it’s Lil’ Ricky – never mind.

    🙂 Dingo

  • Michael Heath

    I wonder if Gov. Perry ever made that gaffe when referring to Mexico?

  • neonsequitur

    North America is a country! Oh yeah? Well if it isn’t, then why is there a South America too, Mr. Elitist Smarty-pants?

  • regexp

    Even if he did get the geography right – much of that oil would go to China or elsewhere and not the US.

    (free market is a bitch)

  • Randomfactor

    Canada’s already our #1 supplier.

    Dingojack, remember the second law: any sufficiently-advanced stupidity is indistinguishable from malice.

  • vmanis1

    `Sure I can name lots of foreign countries. There’s Mexico, and Australia, and…oops.’

  • I’m in Canada and I just headdesked.

    Of course, Alberta, where much of the oil comes from, really really WISHES they were Texas.

  • slc1

    ReVeritasKnight @ #10

    Alberta should probably be renamed Northern Mississippi.

  • shouldbeworking

    This Albertan doesn’t wish he was a Texan. Just what moronic foreign policy gaffes is going to one up with this year, the 200th anniversary of the War of 1812. I mean once someone does the math for him on a calculator of course.

    Canadians might be advised to visit the US this year, just to avoid any teabag claims that we are invading again to finish the job on Washington.

  • Old news to me, but it’s still funny. My brother mentioned the line to me, and my response was rather cynical: “He probably thinks they don’t count as foreign because they’re white.”

  • dingojack

    Based on what the markets are telling me –

    Go Lil’ Ricky, go.

    The whole of the liberal world wants you to run…

    😀 Dingo

  • See, Ron Paul is right, Rick Perry is a shill for the North American Union and wants to unite Mexico, Canada and the US with a giant superhighway to drive commerce away from the middle of the country!!!!111oneoneone

  • shouldbeworking

    I like the part about “those sands”. His knowledge of any part of the world other than Texas is scary. You should be impressed he actually has heard of us, he may not be able to find the sands or Alberta or even Canada on a map, after all those sands are the second largest reserves of fossil fuel in the world and Canada is the second largest country on the planet. Please don’t tell him that Alberta also has large deposits of low sulphur and low ash coal. The Texas teabag nut guard could be looking for a scrap.

    And: Just how is Alberta like northern Mississippi? I can assure you our accents are nothing like Mississippian.

  • exdrone

    Speaking as your Canadian supplier, the first taste is free. Then build Keystone XL, and you can mainline all of that sweet, sweet candy that you want. Come on, baby; you know you want it.

  • shouldbeworking

    Yeah and please we don’t take credit cards or greenbacks. Gold would be acceptable. A whole barrel of oil for 1 tiny ounce of gold, just because we like you guys sooooo much.

  • On the ‘those sands’ comment, it’s made me remember something that’s probably far less likely an explanation than Romney being stupid and incoherent: I remember hearing something years ago about oil deposits that are mixed with underground sand, gravel, or something else generally loose and suspended in the oil. The problem with deposits like that is that supposedly it would take more energy to extract that oil than the oil’s worth.

    Any geologists in the house? I may be misremembering something, so I’d like to know if that’s a real thing or if I misunderstood a description of something else.

  • shouldbeworking

    I don’t want to go into the details, but Yeah the oil is thick and mixed with fine sand. The oil bearing deposits are buried to varying depths and the extraction process is energy and machine intense. The environmental aspects are underplayed by one side and grossly exaggerated by other people.

    At the moment, there are plans in the works for about a billion dollars of upgrades and new operations in the tars ands (or oils ands) as well as the heavy oil deposits. The companies do extract the oil at a profit of course, partly through the assistance of very good royality deals with our provincial government. Don’t get me started on that topic.

  • lordshipmayhem

    Of course Rick Perry forgets that the Yanks lost the War of 1812. This is the same guy who thinks that the United States was founded as a Christian theocracy.

  • I guess I got the right general gist of it. I think I’ll avoid opening the apparent can of worms, since I got what I was looking for out of the brief derail.

  • Azkyroth

    So the dumbass figures Canada is a part of the US.

    I guess that’s what you call “Manifest Density.”

  • Even if he weren’t wrong about Canada not being a foreign country, the larger point is nonsense anyway. Oil is bought and sold on a world-wide market. Any disruption to a major supplier anywhere in the world sends prices skyrocketing. You can’t get around this problem by having more oil produced “domestically”. The only thing you can do is to consume less or create alternatives that can substitute for oil and create a price ceiling. In other words, the kind of stuff Republicans have fought tooth and nail against for the last 30 years.

  • Azkyroth

    Of course Rick Perry forgets that the Yanks lost the War of 1812.

    That’s….quite a stretch.

  • shouldbeworking

    Someone should inform Her Majesty that she is no longer Queen of Canada. Long live King Rick the First (and last if I’m lucky).

  • tcapener

    In the 80s Canada’s federal government instituted a “National Energy Policy” and forced Alberta to sell oil to the rest of Canada at below market prices. It was widely despised in Alberta. I think Americans need to let go of ideas of cheap Canadian oil, if they have any. As people have said, the oil sands are expensive to exploit, but even if not, Alberta will never willing sell its oil for less than market value.

  • shouldbeworking

    Azkyroth says:

    January 2, 2012 at 3:25 pm

    Of course Rick Perry forgets that the Yanks lost the War of 1812

    That’s….quite a stretch

    Not much of a stretch, many of your politicians assumed the conquest of Canada would be a matter of mere marching. Thomas Jefferson was one, I believe.

  • Azkyroth

    If you only judge the progress of the war by whether or not Canada was conquered, sure, I guess.

  • shouldbeworking

    That’s more than a minor detail on this side of the international border.

  • Azkyroth

    The impressment of American sailors was stopped, the economic restrictions on American trade were mostly lifted, and the U.S. scored some major military victories, ultimately repelled the invasions of their home turf, and consolidated its economic and political position in the world. The British destroyed some buildings, repelled some ill-considered land-grabbing opportunism, and, although this inexplicably wasn’t one of the named causes of the war, clung tou threi raesistaence tou raeasounaeble spaelling counvaentiouns loungre. This was perhaps not a crushing triumph but “losing” is a silly way of putting it.

  • sailor1031

    “If you only judge the progress of the war by whether or not Canada was conquered, sure, I guess.”

    Well we did invade and burn yer f***in’ whitehouse….nyaa, nyaa, nyaa, nyaa, nyaa!!

  • Azkyroth

    Though apparently you still haven’t learned to spell “fuck.”

  • shouldbeworking

    The major victories on land did not in themselves do much good other than bragging rights? Yeah, the British invasions were repelled, but so were your invasions, after you burned York (now Toronto, did we ever thank you for that?). One of your buildings burned was the White House.

    My history prof referred to it as a draw.

  • MikeMa

    A draw was how I remembered it with lots of burnt stuff.

    One mixed result I learned was the Brits were repelled at Elkton, MD by a handful of militia (along with shallow water) and then, all pissed off, went on to burn the town across the bay, Havre De Grace.

  • peterh

    If Perry doesn’t get the Republican nomination, he can consider revitalizing the Black Hawk Party.

  • slc1

    Fortunately for the US and President Madison, the most competent British general, the Duke of Wellington, fresh off his defeat of Napoleon at Waterloo, declined to accept command of British troops in North America.

  • dingojack

    Azkyroth – “… the U.S. scored some major military victories… ”

    Really? Such as…?

    “… ultimately repelled the invasions of their home turf …”

    If you only judge the progress of the war by whether or not [the US] was conquered, sure, I guess [it was a victory].”

    ‘O, come in, equivocator’.

    As to Americans using archaic English and not being able to spell –

    I couldn’t care less

    😉 Dingo

  • jufulu

    “Measured in dollars, the nation is on pace this year to ship more gasoline, diesel, and jet fuel than any other single export, according to U.S. Census data going back to 1990. It will also be the first year in more than 60 that America has been a net exporter of these fuels.”

    “— The volume of fuel exports is rising. The U.S. is using less fuel because of a weak economy and more efficient cars and trucks. That allows refiners to sell more fuel to rapidly growing economies in Latin America, for example. In 2011, U.S. refiners exported 117 million gallons per day of gasoline, diesel, jet fuel and other petroleum products, up from 40 million gallons per day a decade earlier.

    There’s at least one domestic downside to America’s growing role as a fuel exporter. Experts say the trend helps explain why U.S. motorists are paying more for gasoline. The more fuel that’s sent overseas, the less of a supply cushion there is at home.”

    I guess having a domestic supply means more profits.


  • The Very Reverend Battleaxe of Knowledge

    Azkyroth – “… the U.S. scored some major military victories… ”

    Really? Such as…?

    Well, against the failed US invasion of Canada…the British tried to invade the US by four different routes:

    Across the Great Lakes, where Commodore Perry destroyed them, paving the way for that Canadian invasion fiasco,

    Down the Lake Champlain corridor (yet again), where they were turned back decisively at the battle of Plattsburgh.

    Into Chesapeake Bay, where they took a couple of days off to go down and burn Washington (undefended because it wasn’t a military target), but they ultimately had to get back on their ships and try to pass the Forts, which they failed miserably in doing.

    And finally, up the Mississippi, where Andrew Jackson cleaned their clock at New Orleans.

    All people remember about this is that the invasion of Canada was a fiasco, and the war was actually over when the Battle of New Orleans took place, although they didn’t know it yet. “Ha, ha, stupid Americans!”

  • carlie

    I seriously doubt that Rick Perry could tell you who fought whom in the war of 1812.

  • stace

    I seriously doubt that Rick Perry could tell you who fought whom in the war of 1812.

    Well, according to his Texas A&M transcript he actually managed to pass his two U.S. History classes, so maybe he actually could do that.

  • kermit.

    stace “Well, according to his Texas A&M transcript he actually managed to pass his two U.S. History classes, so maybe he actually could do that.”

    That was years ago, and he’s had no reason to think about history since…

    And we know how good his memory is.

  • Reginald Selkirk
  • Reginald Selkirk

    Is he tipping his hand for a planned annexation of Canada as the 51st state?

    That depends on whether it comes before or after Texas secedes from the U.S.

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