Harry Jackson Prays Away the Gay

If you want to see some serious crazy, watch this video featuring Bishop Harry Jackson and Cindy Jacobs as they rant and rave about the “Queen of Heaven,” the demonic principality who apparently rules over Maryland and Washington, DC (and prevents Muslims and Catholics from converting to Real Christianity too). There’s some really funny incoherent babbling speaking in tongues too.

httpv://youtu.be/GMnaW-0rQ-U

About Ed Brayton

After spending several years touring the country as a stand up comedian, Ed Brayton tired of explaining his jokes to small groups of dazed illiterates and turned to writing as the most common outlet for the voices in his head. He has appeared on the Rachel Maddow Show and the Thom Hartmann Show, and is almost certain that he is the only person ever to make fun of Chuck Norris on C-SPAN.

  • raven

    ???? The Queen of Heaven in Catholic mythology is Mary, mother of Jesus.

    She has managed to get quite a boost up in status over the centuries with several recent Popes devoted to the cult of Mary. Being god’s girlfriend does have some advantages.

    I’ve never heard of the other Queen of Heaven. Must be something new. The Drag Queen of Heaven maybe.

    Despite some xians hatred of the word, evolve, they do evolve and quite rapidly. Cindy Jacobs is a good example.

    In the older fundie churches, women are supposed to shut up and sit down, like it says in the Epistles. Nowadays, Cindy Jacobs can claim to be a New Apostle with Superpowers and get in front of audiences and babble like a loon. Evolution on fast forward.

  • garnetstar

    They never miss an opportunity to suck money out of their marks.

    “Bring your checks to the altar, we will pray over them. The money will be multiplied.”

    Yes, it looks like it will.

  • LightningRose

    Well, all I can say is,

    Ooh-ee, ooh-ah-ah, ting-tang, walla-walla-bing-bang…

  • LightningRose

    Oh yeah, one other thing.

    If Harry Jackson is a Bishop, then I’m the fuckin’ Pope!

  • raven

    If Harry Jackson is a Bishop, then I’m the fuckin’ Pope!

    Sure. No problem.

    It’s all make believe and Let’s Pretend anyway. You can claim whatever titles and powers you want. Free country.

    Cindy Jacobs claims to be a New Apostle, chosen by god to lead a new religion, Demented Fundie-ism

    New Apostles have Superpowers also granted to them by the gods. Hers seems to be babbling like a loon and scamming money from really stupid people.

  • http://www.rodlamkey.net reverendrodney

    Is this 2012 or 1984? I mean, to regard an entity from Heaven where all is pure love, and declare it evil, is real Newspeak.

    It’s astonishing that people listen to this crap. Even more that they pay money to listen to this crap. I want the mailing list.

  • exdrone

    Great gig. Not much prep work required for that sermon. “God is great. Sin is bad. Yada yada yada …” It’s funny that, when he was asked how to address the cheques, he suddenly got very articulate.

  • howie51

    Many long term Ex-Christians such as myself laugh uproariously when morons like Jacobs come up with names (Given to them, by the way, by Holy Ghost) for these evil entities whose influence is felt here on mother earth. Having been personally involved in “exorcisms” many times, I can now attest this to be the most insane idea Christians ever came up with – and a definite leaning into the reals of mental instability (in a most pious way, of course.)

    Bring on the day when people like Jacobs will be locked up for examination to determine whether they are safe to fellowship with normal folks, and when this ancient belief is once and for all buried under science and medical knowledge.

  • sandyw1952

    “Well, all I can say is,

    Ooh-ee, ooh-ah-ah, ting-tang, walla-walla-bing-bang…”

    I almost choked on my pizza as I read this. Thanks!

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100002686842900 christinelaing

    “The Queen of Heaven” is a term found in the Old Testament (mostly Jeremiah) for a goddess that the Israelites insisted on worshiping instead of YHWH. She was probably a variant of Ishtar/Astarte/Ashtoret. As said quite a few female deities (Mary) have been crowned Queen over the centuries. Interestingly since by this time YHWH was identified with El (literally “God,” the greatest of all the gods), she may also have been Asherah, who appears to have been both El and YHWH’s wife. Traditional Christian interpretation is that worshiping the Queen involved a lot of cheap sex. Since he rails against gays, I suppose he imagines that gays follow Ishtar, much the way Neo-pagans follow Satan despite not believing in Satan at all.

  • Trebuchet

    I watched this right after the Pat Robertson one. He’s downright sane in comparison.

  • Midnight Rambler

    ???? The Queen of Heaven in Catholic mythology is Mary, mother of Jesus.

    Which is exactly why people like this guy think Catholics are satanic and the Pope is the Antichrist.

  • garnetstar

    Howie51@8, involuntary committment of these types is a very interesting idea. How about in a prison? For fraud?

    You know, there are therapists who have destroyed patients’ lives by implanting false memories of sexual abuse, membership in Satanic cults, and such things. Some of the therapists have been successfully sued by patients who regained their senses, and paid large sums in costs and damages.

    So, here we have two grifters who are implanting delusional beliefs into vulnerable people in order to take their money–you think that costs and damages could be awarded for that?

    I don’t see the difference, but I suppose they’ll get away with it on the grounds that freedom to practice their religion allows them to commit any immoral act that their faith requires. As it does.

  • Tony

    “Jesus is Lord of Maryland?”

    It’s not quite the “this is a Christian nation” shtick, but why are these people so monarchist?! I recall be taught that we fought a war against lords, kings, etc., etc.

  • http://therealisticmccoy.com Daniel McCoy

    These people are clearly not monotheists. They believe in at least two gods but proclaim loyalty to one over the other. This is a very old testament view, why would the commandments worry about having “other gods before me” if there weren’t any other gods? They just believe that theirs is the right god. This is old-school tribal theology, where one tribe’s gods are the enemies of another tribe’s gods. Also a bit like zorastrianism in the battle between good and evil aspect.

    Orthodox christian theology insists in only one god, leaving aside that paradoxical trinity thing. It differs from greek/roman paganism and hinduism in that those other traditions were inclusive and promoted some respect for different tribal gods. More sophisticated later hindu theology resolves the polytheism in a similar way to the trinity concept, just with many more roles to play. Of course mormons would be even more heretical from a christian viewpoint, since believing that good mormons graduate to godhood is way harder to resolve with monotheism than the trinity.

    All in all, these people are a good example that there isn’t really any such thing as “true christianity”, just the crazy beliefs of people who call themselves christians, however messy those beliefs might be.

    I grew up attending a pentecostal church surrounded by people speaking in tongues. In my opinion, this guy is pretty lame at it. I have yet to hear anybody as good at it as Brother Lynch was in my church growing up. It sounded like beautiful poetry in a language you didn’t understand. Then Brother Garrison would stand up and translate it into King James English, which sounded like something right out of Isaiah or Jeremiah with a few modern touches dropped in to make it feel relevant. It was an extremely impressive performance which happened every month or two and left the congregation feeling as if something truly important had just happened.

    I must say though, to his credit, Jackson does say far fewer really stupid things in tongues than he does in english.

  • helenaconstantine

    No. 10 is on point. But most likely these people also believe that the Queen of Heaven is the subject of the ruler cult established by Semiramis the Queen of Babylon to perpetuate her memory and which became the elementary basis of the Catholic Church (which, if course, the worship of the anti-Christ rather than Jesus). I had all of this explain to me in great detail by a 9 year old boy once who knew all about it (his father was a pastor). There’s also a Chick Tract.

  • Lyle

    speaking in tongues incoherent babbling

    Fixed it for you.

  • Blondin

    Cheeses?

  • Azkyroth

    Homosexuality is as natural as aging.

    I wonder if anyone’s tried “Praying Away the Gray” yet.

  • http://nwrickert.wordpress.com/ Neil Rickert

    I don’t see any “serious crazy” there. I see Jackson whipping people into an emotional frenzy, followed by “Gimme money, gimme money.” And it looks as if that is working. So what’s crazy about that?

  • http://florilegia.wordpress.com Ibis3, denizen of a spiteful ghetto

    The whole time watching this, I kept wishing for a neo-Pagan Circle to come dancing in the frame, singing a chant to some Goddesses and then break into a bisexual orgy.

    I can speak in tongues better than this nutcase.

  • http://florilegia.wordpress.com Ibis3, denizen of a spiteful ghetto

    nutcase fraud

    (sorry about that)

  • sc_82d3f982287032a84c1aad94084e72c7

    okay, first off, I was laughing so hard at the video that I had trouble reading the comments. Then, you guys in the comments section had me laughing so hard that I had trouble composing this response.

    I must say, for a boring Saturday evening, this certainly “prayed away the grey”!

    Thanks, guys!

  • http://intelligenttheism.blogspot.com/ kreepykritter

    There was far too much proselytizing and nonsensical yelling for my taste. Far as I can tell it’s just more hate-speak using the guise of religion to give it more imagined gravity. It’s one of those moments that I have to hang my head with some shame because, sadly, they’re human too… which means I share far too many genetic similarities to be comfortable.

    I will point out, though, that there are cases where the freedom of religion isn’t sacrosanct…

    I suppose they’ll get away with it on the grounds that freedom to practice their religion allows them to commit any immoral act that their faith requires. As it does.

    Remember Waco? Remember the Branch Davidians? David Koresh? (Vernon to his friends)

    Remember the flame throwers and the tear gas?

    How about the prosecution (not to be confused with persecution) of bigamist Mormons?

    No no. Trust the U.S. Constitution to NOT protect those dirty fuckers who try to use it to cover their asses and get away with stupid, felonious, shit… there just has to be an actual, provable, crime first. At best, we’ve got a good example of inciting a riot, at worst a noise violation. Call me when one of the parishioners joins up with Fred Phelps, or does something equally retarded.

  • sarah

    No matter how many times I hear fundies ‘speaking in tongues’, it still still never fails to amaze me how people fall for it.

  • garnetstar

    kreepykritter@24, you’re right, they’d get socked for actual crimes. I was thinking of things that can’t be defined as crimes, just as immoral. Like, sucking money out of vulnerable people on “religious” grounds.

    But if that is ever determined to be the crime of fraud and the perpetrators are prosecuted, I won’t be pouting about it!