Badass Quote of the Day

As we are constantly being told that Newt Gingrich is a fountain of brilliant ideas, the true intellectual of the conservative movement, Ezra Klein reminds us of a hilarious line from Bob Dole about that myth.

When Gingrich was speaker of the House, Bob Dole was the Senate majority leader. And so Dole spent a lot of time listening to the speaker’s proposals. “Gingrich’s staff has these five file cabinets, four big ones and this little tiny one,” he told The New York Times. “Number one is ‘Newt’s ideas.’ Number two, ‘Newt’s ideas.’ Number three, number four, ‘Newt’s ideas.’ The little one is ‘Newt’s Good Ideas.’”

Someone has started a fake Twitter account to parody Newt’s penchant for crazy ideas. My favorite so far: “Change location on my eHarmony profile to Florida.”

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About Ed Brayton

After spending several years touring the country as a stand up comedian, Ed Brayton tired of explaining his jokes to small groups of dazed illiterates and turned to writing as the most common outlet for the voices in his head. He has appeared on the Rachel Maddow Show and the Thom Hartmann Show, and is almost certain that he is the only person ever to make fun of Chuck Norris on C-SPAN.

  • Reginald Selkirk

    Ah, Bob Dole. What a mean old coot.

  • matty1

    Those tweets are brilliant I liked “Don’t let on that I’m not a ‘mere mortal'”

  • MikeMa

    I wonder if Newt might be better off hawking viagra?

    Newt’s one & only idea is that he must be president. He’s beginning to approach Mitt in the Say Anything department and the Washington outsider/insider routing is starting to make GOP heads spin.

  • Reginald Selkirk

    He’s beginning to approach Mitt in the Say Anything department

    While still accusing Romney of being in the ‘Say Anything’ department. It’s freaking hilarious.

  • Dr X


    “Why do people take such an instant dislike to me?” asked a perplexed Gingrich, to whom Dole bluntly explained: “Because it saves them time.”

  • MikeMa

    Or use an old Henny Youngman line, “Take my wife … please”. Newt has already used it a couple of times but it seems to match his personality.

  • abb3w

    Hey, even 1-in-5 “Good ideas” is probably unusual for a politician.

    Unfortunately, the first three cabinets would be more accurately labeled “Newt’s WTF ideas”.

  • Aquaria

    Newt’s one & only idea is that he must be president.

    I think you have to get destroying any hint of liberalism/the Democratic Party in there, somewhere.

  • Michael Heath

    Re the tweats, my favorite was from 1/21:

    Pick up a hooker on the way to Florida, because apparently no one gives a shit.

  • MikeMa

    @Michael Heath

    The hooker tweet was good but it should have been on the way to SC where the majority of the GOtP voted for the old fool. They clearly don’t care what Newt is and was out there.

  • exdrone

    In Newt’s defence, his ideas are so transcendental that they defy transcription. Also, since he is gifted with propitious inspiration, he doesn’t need to plan ahead. Perfect ideas just come to him.