Jacobs Claims Power to Raise Dead Children

The utterly deranged Cindy Jacobs regularly says the most ridiculous things imaginable, but this one may take the cake. In a recent show, she claimed that she has the power to raise children from the dead and claims that she actually did this in Pakistan (with no evidence, of course).

Jacobs: The bible says the same power is in us that raised Christ Jesus from the dead. I see someone; you literally had a child that just died. And I speak to the spirit of death in that child in the name of Jesus and I command you to lead that child. I speak to the spirit of infirmity that caused the child’s death and I say “Live in Jesus name! Live!’ And I see a child coughing, waking up, oh we saw that in Pakistan, we saw a little boy raised from the dead, just like that. God is on the move. God is on the move!

Here’s the video:

httpv://youtu.be/Y-UK1_uoIfo

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About Ed Brayton

After spending several years touring the country as a stand up comedian, Ed Brayton tired of explaining his jokes to small groups of dazed illiterates and turned to writing as the most common outlet for the voices in his head. He has appeared on the Rachel Maddow Show and the Thom Hartmann Show, and is almost certain that he is the only person ever to make fun of Chuck Norris on C-SPAN.

  • anubisprime

    I feel nothing about her, dumb cretins are dumb cretins, but I do feel immense anger and resentment that anyone actually believes a word she utters…

    Anger that she is not challenged by any integrity and therefore her followers are bereft of a modicum of sense.

    And resentment because she is allowed to get away with it without a peep of a slapdown from anyone.

    But I have absolute contempt for the organizations and media outlets that proudly display her performances of insanity as some kind of amazing fact!

    The cretin is a scam artist…simples, since when have Americans developed such sycophantic drooling appreciation for complete and utter bollix.

    Really ‘cuzzens’…get a grip!

  • acroyear

    “Aslan is on the move!” – yeah, they really can’t separate their concept of God from a children’s story (allegory or not).

    Why would a God who is in all places at all times (according to Paul and Luke, and in some interpretations of John) need to be “on the move”?

  • DaveL

    I have to wonder, what does she do about the poor, grieving rubes who would inevitably come to her to raise their deceased child? It’s one thing to just spout nonsense into the ether, it’s another thing to play head games with bereaved parents.

  • raven

    I have to wonder, what does she do about the poor, grieving rubes who would inevitably come to her to raise their deceased child?

    Silly question. Ask them for money, huge amounts of money!!!

    Why else do you think she is in the conperson business.

  • raven

    Cindy Jacobs is a New Apostle, a group self described as having been given Superpowers to do god’s will.

    Those Superpowers seem to be the ability to lie a lot, and con people out of moderately large sums of money. No one has seen the other ones claimed, healing the sick, raising the dead, moving mountains with prayer, speaking all languages, etc..

    They are the carnival performers of xianity.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100003657987619 barefootbree

    I first read the post title as “Raise Dead Chicken“.

    Her inane “story” makes just as much sense that way.

  • http://timgueguen.blogspot.com timgueguen

    Jacobs would be well advised not to return to Pakistan. I suspect claiming to be able to raise the dead might get her charged with witchcraft or something.

  • dan4

    I wonder if she’s too stupid to consider the possibility that the child was just sleeping, and her “Live in Jesus name! Live!” outburst was loud enough to cause the boy to wake up.

  • http://peopleofpublictransport.wordpress.com Zinc Avenger (Sarcasm Tags 3.0 Compliant)

    The fact that this woman is not spending her life 24/7 being flown from hospital to hospital is a tragedy. She should be ashamed she isn’t using her powers to help people! The only ethical thing to do is kidnap her and sneak her into hospital morgues in the dead of night. Lets do it!

  • tsig

    What if the dead child had made it to heaven?

  • http://www.ranum.com Marcus Ranum

    Why would a God who is in all places at all times (according to Paul and Luke, and in some interpretations of John) need to be “on the move”?

    It’s a figure of speech, by which they mean “god is gonna do something real soon!” Sort of tacit admission that god hasn’t done anything since, well, he set fire to Moses’ bush and did a shitty ventriloquist act, invented plate tectonics, and all the “let there be light” routine.

  • http://www.ranum.com Marcus Ranum

    we saw that in Pakistan, we saw a little boy raised from the dead, just like that.

    OMG, did she resurrect a mooooslim child!?!?! It’s probably going to grow up to be a terrorist and now it’s all Jacobs’ fault!

  • davem

    The only ethical thing to do is kidnap her and sneak her into hospital morgues in the dead of night. Lets do it!

    Yeah, but only if there’s a spare cabinet…

  • grumpyoldfart

    That Schuller fellow from the Crystal Cathedral was pulling the same stunt decades ago. At every service in which he offered up a healing prayer, he went into the “I can see…” routine.

    I can see a little girl up in Kansas and God is removing the cataracts from her eyes. I can see an old lady in Arizona with cancer, but god is healing her as we speak.”

    I think it works because the tithe-payers go home thinking they have seen a miracle instead of just heard a story about one. And they are then encouraged to take some more money back to the church next Sunday in the hope they will see something even more spectacular (maybe involving themselves).

  • amethyststarling

    And now desperate parents will try to contact her to bring back their dead or nearly dead children, all because of her claim.

  • Tony •King of the Hellmouth•

    I first read the post title as “Raise Dead Chicken“.

    So that’s Cindy Jacobs in the opening credits of Robot Chicken?

  • dan4

    @14: That same sort of thing was pretty much a regular feature on the 700 Club back in the ’90′s (Don’t know if Robertson and Co. still do it. I haven’t watched the show in awhile).

  • Azkyroth, Former Growing Toaster Oven

    Well, she oversells her abilities.

    As a faith healer, when people bring their kids to her instead of to doctors, she GIVES THEM dead children.

    It’s up to them to RAISE the kids, of course. Personal responsibility and all that.

  • dingojack

    But wait – she digs the little corpses up and then puts them onto a table, thus raising them (around) a whole 9 feet!

    It’s a miracle! Can I get an ‘amen’? Oggidty, oggitdy boggitdty!

    8/ Dingo

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  • thisisaturingtest

    @#8, dan4:

    I wonder if she’s too stupid to consider the possibility that the child was just sleeping, and her “Live in Jesus name! Live!” outburst was loud enough to cause the boy to wake up.

    You’re giving her more credit than I’m inclined to- I think she’s just making shit up (I know, Hanlon’s Razor, but still…). Of course, she could prove me wrong…I’m guessing she won’t.

  • chip

    @3 and @15 -

    Obviously, in the case where she fails to raise a child from the dead, it’s because the parents didn’t have enough faith. It’s all their fault for not trusting god enough to let him answer their prayers. Darn those loopholes.

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