Get Your Blood of Jesus Oil

I used to be on the mailing list of Peter Popoff, the faith-healing con man exposed by James Randi in the mid-80s. One of his gimmicks, which he still uses, is to send you a vial of holy water, allegedly from the Jordan river. Here’s a very similar scam — blood of Jesus oil.

This little fraud is brought to you by Woody Martin, pastor of Victory Temple Church in Lenoir City, Tennessee. And here’s the fine print:

This is regular olive oil which represents the Holy Spirit and a special coloring to make it look red thus we call it “The Blood of Jesus Anointing Oil.” There is no virtue or healing in this oil, it is a point-of-contact and an act-of-faith.

Hell, then you could just use some cherry coke to do the same thing, right? Or nothing at all. You don’t need to pour a liquid on yourself to have faith, right? Or you could just stop peddling bullshit to your ignorant followers.

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About Ed Brayton

After spending several years touring the country as a stand up comedian, Ed Brayton tired of explaining his jokes to small groups of dazed illiterates and turned to writing as the most common outlet for the voices in his head. He has appeared on the Rachel Maddow Show and the Thom Hartmann Show, and is almost certain that he is the only person ever to make fun of Chuck Norris on C-SPAN.

  • anandine

    you could just stop peddling bullshit to your ignorant followers.

    But then who would buy it?

  • Doug Little

    Yes just keep fleecing the poor and deluded, it’s what Jesus would have wanted.

  • Pierce R. Butler

    … Woody Martin, pastor of Victory Temple Church

    Who will clearly inform you that he is not the illegitimate love child of two famous and multi-talented comedians, not matter what they say on the Internets.

    This is regular olive oil …

    The least he could have done was buy Extra Virgin!

  • billydee

    A friend of mine gave me a bottle of water he bought on a trip to Israel. It’s supposed to be from the Jordan. It’s supposed to bring me happiness and improve my life. Didn’t work. I haven’t been fucked once since I got it.

  • llewelly

    “. It’s supposed to bring me happiness and improve my life. Didn’t work. I haven’t been fucked once since I got it.”

    Oh, but it has kept you pure and free of sin!

  • anatman

    i worked long ago with a fellow who doubled as a preacher. we were changing the oil in our ambulance and he got out a little bottle and filled it with some of the dirty crankcase oil. i asked him why, and he told me “this is holy oil from the river jordan. i’m going to sell it tonight for five dollars a drop.” incidentally, that was about two hours worth of my pay at the time.

  • cag

    billydee #4, the only one who got screwed was your friend when she/he paid good money for tap water.

  • Mr Ed

    billydee #4,

    I recommend voting Republican across the board this fall, you’ll get screwed in more ways than you can imagine.

  • billydee

    #5: “Oh, but it has kept you pure and free of sin!”

    But where’s the fun in that?

    cag: He’s rich and stupid.

    Mr Ed: But I want to be screwed the good way, not the Republican way.


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