The Awl has a list of some of the other things that Todd Akin believes about the human uterus, which is apparently a magical organ with many fascinating properties. We need to start teaching these in sex education classes:
• When provoked or frightened, a uterus emits a high-pitched scream that instantly stuns its attacker.
• The natural enemies of the uterus are the locust, the hawk, the carpenter ant, and the witch.
• It is possible to use a uterus to determine the nearest source of fresh water or magnetic North but not both…
• A uterus that has come into the full realization of its powers can only be killed by the seventh son of a seventh son. However, he cannot be Jewish.• It is possible to summon an inhabitant of the drowned city of Atlantis by blowing upon a uterus like a conch shell. This can be done only once.
• No uterus can survive under the gaze of a wizard; it will wither and shrivel into a harmless stone mask (do not attempt to wear the mask).
• The more uteruses a woman can collect during her lifetime, the higher her status, and the more servants she will command, among the dead.
And now you know.