FRI: Lesbianism Causes Pancreatic Cancer!

The Family Research Institute may have reached a new low not only for bigotry but for stupidity by suggesting that Sally Ride’s death was linked to being a lesbian. Of course, they don’t come right out and say that, they’re just asking questions and drawing correlations:

Sally Ride, the first U.S. female astronaut, died this year at 61 of pancreatic cancer. Most women live until their 80s. Something strange afoot?

Ride was married to a fellow astronaut from 1982 to 1987. But it was just revealed she had a ‘long time lesbian relationship’ of 27 years. Do the math: her 27 year relationship with a professor of school psychology (and co-founder of Sally Ride’s company) means that she got into that relationship in 1985, smack in the middle of her marriage. It would appear that her childhood friend broke up her marriage.

And Sally may have paid with some of her lifespan. Our latest research into recent homosexual obituaries from San Francisco indicates that lesbians are dying on average around 60ish. Ride fits the pattern of lesbian deaths, but not that of married women’s deaths, which usually extend into the early-to-mid 80s.

Is this proof that homosexual activity leads to an early death? No, of course not. Had she stayed married, Sally Ride might have died at the same age and of the same malady. But, on average, her death fits a consistent pattern suggesting that homosexuality is associated with an early demise.

No, you dumbasses, it doesn’t fit any such pattern. You know what pattern it does fit? The one where people who get pancreatic cancer die earlier than people who don’t. Bigotry and stupidity get along very well.

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