Pat Robertson’s Million Dollar Prayers Answered

I wrote last week about Pat Robertson’s perfect prayer scam, where he makes scattershot claims that God is going to do X or Y and when one of the millions of evangelicals have X or Y happen, it proves that the prayer was answered. He recently said that God was going to give a million dollars to someone and — voila! — someone got a million dollars:


This isn’t a miracle, it’s a long-established program to reimburse businesses for losses that resulted from the BP oil spill in the Gulf of Mexico. And that business owner wasn’t “surprised” by the check, he applied for it. God didn’t give anything, BP did. But that’s the beauty of Robertson’s scam — virtually anything will be turned into a hit by the true believers.

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  • Anthony K

    Those prayers were more successful than even Robertson thought:

    Couple wins $50 million ahead of 30th anniversary

    A gay couple from Vancouver, who will mark their 30th anniversary next month, now have 50 million more reasons to celebrate after winning the latest Lotto Max draw.

    Kurt Blanchette-Ebert, 63, and his partner Claude, 52, learned Saturday morning that they had won the $50-million jackpot but waited until Tuesday to claim the prize.

    “Sunday is church and Monday I had no time,” Kurt told CTV News from the offices of the B.C. Lottery Commission, after being presented with an oversized cheque for the couple’s winnings. “Today is the day.”

    The Lord is truly generous in His Blessings to His Faithful, even retroactively.

  • ambulocetacean

    And isn’t it great that — of all things — this miracle happens to absolve a giant oil company of .. well … it’s practically blasphemy to talk about all that stuff now.

    Because obviously BP is an agent of the LORD. Hallelujah!

  • Mr Ed

    I can remember as a preschooler watching Romper Room and wishing that the teacher would call out my name when through her magic mirror she saw me watching. I quickly figured she was just using common names. I’m glad to see that there is another magic man doing the same show for an adult but similar audience.

  • grumpyoldfart

    I think I’ve got this sussed out. Back in February Pat saw a businessman friend.

    Pat: “How are things with you?”

    Friend: “Good – BP has just accepted my million dollar compensation claim.

    Pat: “Lucky you.”

    Then Pat goes on TV and says that god has told him that somebody, somewhere, is going to get a million dollars. A few weeks later they meet again:

    Pat: “Did your money come through.”

    Friend: “Sure did.”

    Pat: “Lucky you.”

    And now he’s back on TV saying that a miracle has occurred and his “prediction” came true.

    What next? Well I’m guessing that Pat Robertson is bombarding the businessman with letters and emails, reminding him of the believer’s duty to pay their tithes in full and on time.

  • BP didn’t give this guy anything. The money is compensation for the damages to his business that BP inflicted through their negligence. If someone torched your house, but then built a new one for you to live in three year later, I’d hardly call that giving you something.

    Does Joe Barton send BP a personal letter of apology for every settlement check they have to write? Maybe with a nice fruit basket.