Alex Jones Needs a Vacation

In the wee hours of Friday morning, as the mayhem took place in Watertown and police were searching for the second bomber, Alex Jones put up a video claiming — of course — that the whole thing was fake and the government had set the bombs. I found it quite amusing and noticed a lot of the same things that Alex Seitz-Wald did.

Jones claims that there were Navy Seals at the marathon site and he could spot them because they were wearing their insignia. Really, Alex? You think that if the government had agents there setting the bombs they’d be wearing insignia that could identify them? Are they that incompetent? Seitz-Wald notices even more:

Jones says Navy SEALs were on the scene and involved in carrying out the attack. He knows this because there were “guys in uniforms” wearing “Navy SEAL caps” all over the finish line. This is his primary piece of evidence, appearing in numerous blog posts and videos across his site. But if you’re executing a secret conspiracy, don’t you think you’d leave the uniform and baseball cap identifying yourself as a member of said conspiracy at home? Why not just wear a name tag that says, “Hello, my name is conspirator #4, Gorge Soros sent me?” The devil is in the fabricated details, Alex, you know that.

The mask slips, Jones says, when the “whole script got screwed up” after CNN reported, and then retracted, that a suspect had been arrested (thanks, John King!). The reason for the change, Jones says, is that the conspirators didn’t anticipate that people would have access to public images of the bombing. Really? The omnipotent globalist regime didn’t think, gee, “I wonder if there will be any cameras at this very high-profile event. You know, the one where thousands of people come with iPhones and dozens of media outlets set up hundreds of camera along the route?” How are we supposed to take the globalist threat seriously when they can’t even get this right.

In the space of few hundred words, InfoWars can’t decide if the media is merely useful idiots or direct co-conspirators. First, the site says the bomb threat at the courthouse after the attack was a pretext to “distract the media,” but states that the “government … ordered the corporate media to ignore the Plan A.” But if you can simply order the media to do anything you want, why create a distraction? Why bother with any of this, really? Just order the media to make the whole thing up, catch the fall guy right away, then kick up your feet with a hot cup of global enslavement and wash it down with some mind-controlling fluoridated water. It’s these kind of internal consistencies that really take the reader out the story.

It should be obvious by now that Alex Jones is part of a global conspiracy to distract attention from the real conspiracy. Jones is being paid to make you think that the government is behind it all so you won’t recognize the genuine conspiracy being carried out by a cabal made up of the Screen Actors Guild and the people who created Angry Birds.

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  • raven

    the genuine conspiracy being carried out by a cabal made up of the Screen Actors Guild and the people who created Angry Birds.

    Where does Sesame Street fit in to all this?

  • slc1

    Actually, the real conspiracy is being carried out by the Masons and the Bilderbergers, with assistance from the Trilateral Commission.

  • DaveL

    Why not just wear a name tag that says, “Hello, my name is conspirator #4, Gorge Soros sent me?”

    Awesome idea for Skepticon…

  • slc1

    Re #2

    Check that, it was members of Skull and Bones.

  • marcus

    I hates those angry fucking birds!

  • fmitchell

    Clearly this operation was planned, start to finish, by the Reverse Vampires.

  • johnnevill

    There was a ton of military folks in full gear including a “Ruck” (backpack) weighing over 40 pounds. They were walking the marathon in honor of fallen soldiers. I was camped out at the 20.5 mile mark (Heartbreak hill) and these folks were truly inspirational. Some of them happened to finish the walk before the bomb and were part of the immediate response:

    Some conspiracy. Have them drop the bomb and then clean up afterwards.. genius. 🙁

  • Didn’t Jones allege that some of the injuries we saw were faked? As in, the diabolical government conspiracy had all their bases covered, execpt for the most basic thing — using weapons to hurt people. So instead of causing injuries with a simple bomb, they had to rush in makeup artists to make people LOOK injured before all those spectators with the cell-phone cameras could catch on.

    These wankers are half insultingly stupid and uneducable, and half fucking hilarious. Do they even take themselves seriously?

  • NOBODY expects the Reverse Vampires!

  • Taz

    If this wasn’t a conspiracy then how come people started running hours before the bombs went off?

  • Moggie

    Angry Birds? More like Jihadi Birds, amirite? A game where suicide bombers, portrayed as the good guys, are deployed against the west, symbolised by Islam’s ultimate “unclean” animal, the pig. And kids are playing this! Wake up, sheeple!

  • Chiroptera

    Taz, #10:

    Taz +1

  • neonsequitur

    Space lizerds, I tell ya.

  • bastionofsass

    Of course the government had its agents wear identifying insignia–because then most elite thinkers would say, “If the government was really involved, would they have their agents wear identifying insignia? Of course not. So the government can’t be involved.” But it was.

    The government isn’t incompetent; it’s really really sneaky.

    *kaboom!* mind blown, right?

  • anubisprime

    I was under the distinct impression that the whole point of a conspiracy is to keep it secret…on that premise alone the tale seems to implode if said conspirators are all wearing …’I am a conspirator’… base ball cap.

    I think Alex is just a sad impotent little gremlin with shit for brains…my contempt is really held and really exercised by the moronic legions that swallow every utterance as gospel, they are really a grim and inglorious testament to an education system that failed them, and an ominous reminder that in the gene pool there is a nasty smell that has yet to fully attain dormancy….regression where art thou sting?

  • coragyps

    Mr. Jones had an ad on this very page earlier today. That could be a conspiracy too, y’know….

  • raven “Where does Sesame Street fit in to all this?”

    At the top of the pyramid, on a throne made from other thrones, sits Big Bird.

  • jnorris

    Modusoperandi, are you making a game out of thrones?

    What if, instead of Navy Seals, they were Army Green Berets in disguise as Navy Seals? Better yet, Navy Seals disguised as Army Green Berets disguised as Navy Seals. Inspired by Edward Winter/Col. Samuel Flagg M.A.S.H.

  • Nemo

    It should be obvious by now that Alex Jones is part of a global conspiracy to distract attention from the real conspiracy.

    There’s an element of truth in this. Not that I think he’s insincere, but he certainly serves to distract a lot of people away from, or even to actively turn against, the causes that would be in their rational self-interest.

  • No, no, no! It was obviously the Reptilian Nazis from inside the (hollow) Earth!

    Mr. Jones needs a permanent vacation, if you know what I mean.

  • Moggie

    jnorris, you’re suggesting it was a false Flagg operation?

  • Nemo

    Hmm, grammar fail. Got carried away with that sentence, I did. Never mind, you can probably tell what I meant.

  • =8)-DX

    @Chiroptera #12

    Moggie, #11

    Moggie +1

    Score: Taz 1, Moggie 1

  • chilidog99
  • Actually, Jones has an explanation as to why there is so much evidence (like all the guys wearing Navy SEAL caps) about this global conspiracy in plain sight — the NWO conspirators are utterly confident that the general public has been completely brainwashed into believing their conspiracy does not exist, and they take great delight in brazenly rubbing our noses in it by waving all evidence for it in our faces.

    He claims this on a daily basis (yeah, I often catch a few minutes of his broadcast while in the car), because it allows him to claim that there is a mountain of incontrovertible evidence to prove that what he has been saying for years is correc, and If you don’t believe him, then it’s only because you are one of the brainwashed.