Klayman’s ‘Citizen Grand Jury’ Hands Down Indictments

Larry Klayman convened one of his “citizen grand juries” in Ocala, Florida recently and the assembled rubes and Tea Party activists handed down indictments against…well, practically everyone. They indicted Obama, Biden, John Roberts and a bevy of other officials for offenses that ranged from the absurd to the surreal. I especially like this one:

U.S. Supreme Court Chief Justice John Roberts, for allowing fellow Justice Elena Kagan to participate in the deliberations on the constitutionality of the Patient Care and Affordability Act, also known as Obamacare. Klayman believes Kagan was biased because, prior to her appointment to the court, she defended the healthcare law as U.S. solicitor general.

Uh, Larry…Roberts had nothing to do with it. He has no authority to prevent her from hearing the case, just as he couldn’t prevent Clarence Thomas from hearing it because his wife had worked against the policy under dispute. Every justice decides alone whether to recuse themselves and no one else has the authority to overrule them.

According to Klayman, those who were indicted will be arraigned, then publicly tried sometime in June or July here in Ocala. Klayman is looking for a judge or retired judge to preside over the trial.

“If they don’t show (for the arraignment), we will enter a not-guilty plea for them and they will be tried in absentia,” he said.

IF they don’t show? Seriously? This always reminds me of that scene in A Few Good Men when Caffey suggests that they could hold the trial in the defendant’s barn, with Uncle Elmer as the judge and everyone in costume.

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  • matty1

    What will the sentence be if convicted? I suggest shunning, if the ‘citizens court’ finds in Klayman’s favour he will refuse to contact or refer to these people ever again. That way everyone wins.

  • Ben P

    “A former federal prosecutor”

    Three years as a junior attorney in the US Attorney’s office during the Reagan administration and you’re a “former federal prosecutor” for life.

  • Chiroptera

    Oh, good for them. We’re finally near achieving closure!

  • http://festeringscabofrealityblogspot.com fifthdentist

    Pshaw. I gathered my dogs and cat together last night and we indicted Klayman, George W. Bush, Dick Cheney, the Koch brothers, the Trilateral Commission and Reagan’s corpse.

    Granted, the cat lost interest after about a minute, but the dogs seemed solidly behind me.

    If the accused do not show up for a hearing scheduled for Juneuary 32, I will be forced to dress one of the dogs in a black robe and conduct a trial. Ignore us at your peril!

  • http://polrant@blogspot.com democommie

    Madame Citizen DeFarge was born a few centuries too early. I can see her, sitting in the shadows of the guillotine, knitting a Gadsden flag.

  • raven

    How cute.

    Cargo cult law.

    Any resemblance between these people and primitive tribals is not accidental.

  • http://www.gregory-gadow.net Gregory in Seattle

    Isn’t pretending to be an actual court a felony or something?

  • shallit

    I’m surprised they didn’t indict Obama for “Gate-breaking, and tearing up of Rules, and Assaulting Gate-keepers, and Trespassing, and Sleeping in Shire-buildings without Leave, and Bribing Guards with Food.”

  • http://timgueguen.blogspot.com timgueguen

    Sooner or later Klayman, or one of his fellows, is going to piss off the wrong “important person” and get his ass sued off for libel.

  • http://howlandbolton.com richardelguru

    shallit: they would have done but, since drinking the Ent draught, Obama’s too tall.

  • baal

    I suppose if you can’t win in the regular courts, making a fantasy team stacked with people who think like you is both refreshing and finally lets you score a win! It’s also faintly pathetic.

  • gshelley

    I have seen FB memes complaining about Thomas not recusing himself from the recent Monsanto cases, even claiming this is what caused the result to go the “wrong way”, because he once worked for them

    They never seem to make the same claim that Kagan should recuse herself from any case where the Obama administration takes any position.

  • Moggie

    They’re so sweet when they play dress-up.

  • anubisprime

    Just wingnuts having the mother of all circle jerks!

    A little wishful thinking and the hatreds flow in torrents.

    These folks never grew up really…they still do make believe!

    More a danger to themselves then others!

  • eric


    making a fantasy team stacked with people who think like you is both refreshing and finally lets you score a win!

    I’d say no, they don’t even get a win in the fantasy sports sense. They aren’t letting an opponent pick a competing fantasy team and they certainly aren’t interested in using an objective judge or algorithm to determine which fantastical team wins.

    This is more like simply acting out a daydream. Writing a Tarantino revenge scene, but without the artistic quality (heh).

    It’s also faintly pathetic.

    Here, we agree.

  • http://drx.typepad.com Dr X

    I’m convening a citizens mental health court where an imaginary guardian ad litem will advocate for Mr. Klayman.

  • Loqi

    Isn’t a court a place where people examine evidence? Shouldn’t they at least get some remedial instruction about what that means?

  • timberwoof

    The. Best. Episodes. of the new Battlestar Galactica are about a tribunal authorized by the President of the Colonies after their ill-fated year under Cylon martial law. They tried people in absentia, sentenced them to death, and spaced them. The people doing it felt totally justified … for a while.

    One of the main characters became a target. His reaction was to realize he’s done for: he refused to beg or speak in his own defense, for despite his hidden and crucial role in the resistance, their minds were already made up that he aided and abetted the occupation. But the plot was discovered and Adama put a stop to it and chewed out President Laura Roslin (after which they probably had wild passionate sex).

    This sort of batshit crazy wingnuttery is a sign of the sort of thing we’re in for if we allow these batshit crazy wingnuts to take the country over. Hell, no!

  • http://polrant@blogspot.com democommie

    “They never seem to make the same claim that Kagan should recuse herself from any case where the Obama administration takes any position.”

    If I am to assume that the above is not snark, I would have to say that Monsanto is a for profit corporation and Mr. Obama is not. That’s for starters.