Beck Has a New Sponsor

Glenn Beck’s fraudulent gold company sponsors have fallen on hard times now that the value of gold has dropped to its lowest level in years, but he has a new sponsor that should appeal strongly to his audience: Food Insurance. Freeze dried meals for survivalists. And listen to this wonderfully incoherent live ad he did for them on his show, with Egypt and the founding fathers and whatever else leapt into his mind at the time.


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  • wholething

    I rarely find someone who will have sex with me in a tent but I just heard George Washington twice in one sentence.

  • blf

    Hearing noodles prevents Bugs Flintstone sleeping purples.

  • magistramarla

    OT – So whatever happened with Beck’s big July fourth shindig?

    I haven’t heard a thing. I was expecting that Ed would have reported on it, just for the entertainment value.

  • Mr Ed

    Study it out Glenn food is only one leg of the survival stool. You need food of course but you also need a means of keeping it from others and the third leg is the one every one forgets you need a trade good. What most people forget is that during the dark ages black pepper was worth its weight in gold. One of the actions the Continental Congress took to prepare for the revolution was to buy 200 casks of pepper before debating the Declaration of Independence. This proved to be the key to winning. There was enough pepper to pay each soldier at Valley Forge with enough left over to pay a bonus to each of the survivors of the Alamo.

  • magistramarla

    Wow, the ad at the top of the page was for what appeared to be Kraft mac & cheese and it claimed that it could be stored for 25 years. What a scam that one must be!

  • jba55

    This will also appeal to Mormons, they’re supposed to keep a year supply of food on hand at all times. Which if you can afford it and keep it rotated (my mom donates their year supply to food drives every year before buying a new one, staggered so it’s easy to handle) isn’t really a bad idea. If you get the big cans you can even build furniture out of it.

  • dingojack

    Too bad the Persians cornered the even more valuable Saffron (Crocus sativus) Market, in 1769, otherwise the US would now own the moon and several Jovian satellites.

    True story!


  • zippythepinhead

    “It really is good”


    I … am … convinced.

    Over in the left hand panel under “FTB Recent” is “Grilled Salmon With Mango Relish” by Comradde PhysioProffe. It is a recipe for salmon with mango relish, which according to the Comradde, “This shitte was fucken tasty!” Way to sell it Proffe!

  • tbp1

    Honestly, one of the things that makes me despair for humanity is the fact that this guy has actually made himself rich, and has both a following and some influence on public affairs. I just can’t think of any equivalent on the left that’s simultaneously this loony, well-known, rich and influential. Not to mention obviously crooked.

    In a just world he would be doing pirate radio with a half-mile range from his parents’ basement.

  • raven

    The Mormon Curtain – FOOD STORAGE

    www. mormoncurtain. com/topic_foodstorage.html‎

    Mormons are commanded to keep one year of food storage on hand. Because Mormons are constantly threatened that the end is near and that Jesus Christ is …

    The food storage thing is a Mormon commandment as jba has just pointed out. One years worth of food.

    They take it very seriously because the world could end any minute now.

  • Ed:

    I’m not sure if you’re aware of it, but the NSA’s “least untruthful forgetter” has outlined the details of an ongoing datamining project which is dovetailing the information re: those who order survivalist foods and the “ODC*” pick-up routes.

    Allathem folks that stockpile freeze-dried water and such are also, often, gunzhoarderz. It will be child’s play for the 5″ FMStilletto booted Nancythugs of the Federal Bureau of Incarceration to go out in disguised home food delivery service Strykers and round up the PATRIOTZ!! oNe11ty!!!

    “Wow, the ad at the top of the page was for what appeared to be Kraft mac & cheese and it claimed that it could be stored for 25 years.”

    In the real world, Kraft Mac&Cheese will last a lot LONGER than that!

    It has been hypothesized (mostly by me) that in the wake of Nukeageddon, two things will survive; cockroaches and the Twinkies they will feed on.

    * ObamandingoFEMA Death Camps

  • raven

    It isn’t a bad idea to have an emergency food supply in most of the USA.

    I live surrounded by earth quake faults, one of which is famous and have been through major earthquakes already. On the west coast, it is always when, not if there is another large one.

    But one year seems excessive. If our civilization shuts down for a year, lack of food will probably be the least of anyone’s problems.

    That LDS one year has a lot of variation depending on household wealth, stability, and attention span. Diligent Mormons rotate their food storage so none gets too old.

    OTOH, a lot of them just chuck a few sacks of wheat in a plastic bag in a closet. Eventually weevils or other insects get in it or it molds. One common inheritance for Mormons from their older relatives is One Year’s worth of very old and dubiously edible food. I can’t say how much is wasted but some claim it is a lot.

  • gAytheist

    Off topic (sort of) but what happened to Beck’s big 4yh of July celebration that was going to make American’s rethink and redefine our Independence Day celebrations. It had something to do with the moon but I could never figure out what. I haven’t heard any more about it.

  • I thought the one year food supply thing for the Mormons came about because in their early years they kept having to move from one place to another because their neighbors didn’t like having them around.

    I try to maintain an emergency food supply that can feed my family and I for several weeks and in recent months have started stocking up on freeze dried meals (Mountain House makes some good ones) because they’ll keep for 5 to 7 years so I don’t have to keep replacing canned food every year or two. A portable camp stove is a good investment too, in case you ever need to evacuate you can cook your meals on the road.

  • Maybe Glennie Bek can find somebody from GM* to partner with in producing and distributing a line of Freeze-dried ammo.

    * Gunzloonz MurKKKa

  • Akira MacKenzie

    Speaking of Beck, I must have been under a rock a couple of days ago, because I heard neither hide nor hair of the massive cultural paradigm shift that was supposed to have occur with the July 4th release of his “Man In The Moon” thing. I assume that everyone here has seen it, converted to Mormonism, and clamoring to buy property in Glen’s planned utopian community?

  • Glenn Beck’s fraudulent gold company sponsors have fallen on hard times now that the value of gold has dropped to its lowest level in years…

    Ironically, does this make now the best time to invest in (real) gold? Buy during a record low and sell when it eventually returns to normal? I lack business sense, so I’m sure there are other variables, like how long it’ll take for gold prices to normalize versus how much money you could make through other investments instead of sitting on your gold bricks.

  • Don Williams

    Bronze Dog at 17: “does this make now the best time to invest in (real) gold? ”

    1) Interesting phrase, “(real) gold”. Most people have faith in the specific gravity of gold — I,e. that it is heavy for its volume. Google e.g, “fisch gold detector”

    2) Unfortunately, the heathen Chinee have discovered that tungsten is very close in specific gravity to gold.

    That is, that gold plated tungsten can pass most of the basic tests performed on gold coins and


    3) This is not speculation — several fake gold bars , worth $100,000 , were found in

    Manhattan a few months ago and others in Britain before that:

    4) There is one thing worse than “fiat money” which is protected by the Secret Service and advanced printing technology (holograms,etc.) And that is “real money” which is not.

  • Don Williams

    1) Re the fake bars in Manhattan, the gold-loving Germans were not amused:

    2) The problem , of course, is that 5000 years of history shows that bad money always drives out good.

    If word of these fakes gets out and becomes widely known, it may cause the price of gold to fall as investors sell in panic.

    Even if you have confidence that the gold coins you hold are genuine, they will be of little

    value if most possible buyers will not buy them in the future for fear they are fake.

    3) If you want to make a wingnut goldbug cry, give him one of these for a present:

    Then cut one in half.

  • Don Williams

    Real survivalists stockpile lead and steel, not gold.

  • slc1

    Re Don Williams @ #19

    The problem , of course, is that 5000 years of history shows that bad money always drives out good.

    Known as Gresham’s Law.

    Re the fake bars in Manhattan, the gold-loving Germans were not amused:

    Fuckke the fuckken Huns.

  • kac90b

    I must have also had my head radiated. NONE of that made any sense. AND what’s left makes no damn sense at all. Nope. None.

  • dingojack

    Unless you’re hoping for another bubble don’t invest in gold. It has corrected back to it’s long term trend-line after being overpriced (or at least, that’s what the ‘experts’ say)



    * Don – densities (not specific gravities) of elemental:

    Tungsten: 19.25 g per cc;

    Gold: 19.30 g per cc.

  • Don Williams

    Dingo at 23:

    The specific gravity of gold is 19.3. The density of gold is equal to the

    specific gravity of gold times the density of water (which is a constant of 1).

    That is, the specific gravity of a substance and its density are directly related.

    The PRACTICAL way to determine either is to use sensitive scales to

    weigh a coin first in dry air , then while suspended in water and use the two

    values to compute the specific gravity which in turn gives the density.

    Archimedes old boy.

  • “Ironically, does this make now the best time to invest in (real) gold? Buy during a record low and sell when it eventually returns to normal?”

    Gold is nowhere close to a record low. To the extent that there is a “normal” price for gold, it is still way above that. Maybe when it gets down to $1000 an ounce (meaning another 25% drop), it will be at the long-term average. And it may go well below that. But gold prices are extremely volatile, so you’re likely to be just as successful betting on roulette.

    Gold is a really stupid investment. Unlike stocks, bonds, or real estate, it produces no income. And its price, both long-term and short-term, fluctuates all over the place. So it offers neither positive returns nor price stability, making it possibly the dumbest place to stick your retirement income. That’s why hucksters like Glenn Beck get hired to sell it.

  • dingojack

    It rather shows the quality of your information, young Donnikens.

    Specific gravity measures the density of liquids or gases relative to a reference material (often water for liquids*) at a specified temperature and pressure. [Solids use density (mass per unit volume)].

    Using your method of calculation at STP would lead you to conclude that a 250g bar of tungsen would have a density of 19.306996 grams per cubic centimeter. .



    * The density of pure water at 298.16K and 101.325Kpa is 0.9970479 grams per cubic centimeter.

  • matty1

    From the link at 20, emphasis added

    The 2008-2013 United States ammunition shortage refers to a shortage of civilian small arms ammunition in the United States that started in late 2008[1] and continued through most or all of 2010. As of September 2011, ammunition for the most scarce calibers, .380 Auto.[2] .45ACP, and .40 S&W pistols — once unavailable at retail stores and gun shops — were again available

    A shortage that continued two years after it had finished, has someone been messing with the OFTM again?

  • matty1

    Anyway if you’re thinking long term a real survivalist would stockpile natural resources and knowledge. A water supply, fertile land, iron ore and the ability to smelt it and your descendants will be a going concern long after the years supply of food has become an exhibit in the Museum of 21st Century Fears.

  • …now that the value of gold has dropped to its lowest level in years…

    Yeah, for a material that was supposed to be the very definition of stability and objective value, gold has turned out to be just another shiny fraud. Again. I’d love to hear some of those libertarians and goldbuggers try and explain this away.

  • Thumper; Atheist mate

    I think he sort of forgot what he was meant to be doing, did his usual angry incoherent rant about hippies, then sort of remembered and tried to tie it back in with some founding fathers bullshit.

  • Don Williams

    Matty at 27 and 28:

    1) The severe ammunition shortage has continued up to the present:

    2) Gun values have also spiked sharply upward. Obama is the world’s best gun salesman. And per the

    Fifth Amendment, the government would have to pay out large sums of money if it tried to take them

    in the future (absent some Reichstag Fire state of emergency ). If you look closely, most gun control laws

    are to “control” future sales — and do nothing about the 250 million? guns out there already.

    3) The rural farmland retreat is trickier than it looks. Mel Tappan created that idea, the modern survivalist movement , and the assault rifle craze back during the high inflation period of the Carter Administration circa 1978. Amazon has his “Tappan On Survival” and I believe a free copy is on the Internet somewhere. But Mel was a Stanford English major /banker whose best survival move was marrying a wealthy heiress and convincing her to buy him a farm in Rogue River , Oregon.

    Unfortunately, Mel didn’t have a security clearance and hence was unaware of the US Government’s “Continuity of Government” Plan. Control the food supply and you control the population —

    especially if you also control all communications, draft the population into labor camps, and institute strict

    controls on travel/movement in order to “conserve limited fuel supplies.” heh heh

    4) The US military is the world’s most competent and focused survivalist. About the only thing that could

    loosen the hold of the government would be a major nuclear war and that contingency was and is well addressed.

    For example, some rich morons are buying up land in Montana for “retreats”. But our Minuteman missile fields are located there and the place would glow in the dark if war ever broke out:

    5) IF you check the locations of US Army forts in CONUS you will find that most are in the low fallout (yellow) areas. The Department of Agriculture , of course, has a detailed database of where the grains silos and other food supplies are located.

  • Don Williams

    Re Matty at 27:

    1) The severe ammunition shortage continues to the present day:

    2) Plus gun prices have soared — Obama is the world’s best gun salesman.

  • From the article Don cited @31:

    The 22-year-old from Riverview wants handgun ammo for target shooting with friends and refuses to pay the inflated prices offered at gun shows or online.

    In other words, there’s plenty of ammo, but some assholes are just stamping their little feet ’cause they don’t want to pay the higher prices created by their own fear and gullibility. I’m kinda surprised Glenn Beck isn’t cashing in on this scam.

    And the rest of the article is pretty much an admission that the ammo “shortage” is caused by infantile anti-Obama testeria.

  • Don Williams

    Re Matty at 28:

    1) The rural farm retreat is not a very good idea — it is impossible to defend and merely ensures that when bandits rape your women and torture you to reveal where your gold is hidden they will not have to worry about being interrupted by the police. (And god help you if you don’t have any hidden gold.)

    History shows that it is best to be part of a protective community with fortified walls to sleep behind and guards to keep watch. Greek city state, Tuscany hill towns of the Middle Ages, walled town of York England,etc.

    2) The rural retreat idea, modern survivalist movement and assault rifle craze was started by Mel Tappan back during the high inflation period of Jimmy Carter’s Administration in the 1970s. Mel was influenced by the urban riots and arson of the 1960s. Amazon has his book “Tappan on Survival” and I believe a free copy is out on the Internet somewhere.

    3) However, Mel was a Stanford English major /banker whose best survival move was marrying a wealthy heiress. He wrote extensively on how to protect oneself from major catastrophes but died at a young age from complications arising from stepping on a broken whisky glass in a swimming pool.

    4) Mel Tappan did not have a security clearance and hence failed to realize that the US Military is not only the world’s toughest gang — it is also the world’s most competent survivalist. Mel was unaware of the Continuity of Operations Plan:

    Control the food supply and you control the population. Especially if you also control all communications, draft the population into labor camps and institute strict controls on travel to “conserve scarce fuel supplies.”.

    heh heh

  • Don Williams

    1) It should also be noted that Glenn Beck is full of crap re George Washington, etc winning the American Revolution.

    The American Revolution was won because Cornwallis’s subordinate Ferguson made the mistake of sending threats to some hillbillies in Appalachia. Who proceeded to exterminate him and his command at King’s Mountain as well as Col Tarleton at Cowpens. It was they who convinced the Dutch bankers that George was stuck in a hopeless quagmire and to cut off the line of credit George needed to wage the war.

    This while George Washington was giving oral sex to French officers out behind his tent in order to keep the money flowing and head off another Benedict Arnold defection.

    2) From Chapter 4 of the US Army’s “American Military History” at

    In the summer of 1780 the American cause seemed to be at as low an ebb as it had been after the New York campaign in 1776 or after the defeats at Ticonderoga and Brandywine in 1777. Defeat in the south was not the only discouraging aspect of patriot affairs. In the north, a creeping paralysis had set in as the patriotic enthusiasm of the early war years waned. The Continental currency had depreciated virtually out of existence, and Congress was impotent to pay the soldiers or purchase supplies. …

    … While recruiting lagged, morale among those men who had enlisted for the longer terms naturally fell. Mutinies in 1780 and 1781 were suppressed only by measures of great severity. …

    ….Arnold’s treason in September 1780 marked the nadir of the patriot cause. ..

    …It was the frontier militia assembling “when they were about to be attacked in their own homes” who struck the blow that actually marked the turning point in the south.”

    3) The History goes on to note:

    ” Sir Henry Clinton remembered King’s Mountain as “the first … of a Chain of Evils that … at last ended

    in the total loss of America.” On October 7, 1780, when only a few continentals and isolated guerrillas

    blocked the restoration of British rule in the south, 1,400 “over-mountain men” and militia surrounded and

    overran the wooded hilltop position of 1,100 Tories and killed their leader, Major Ferguson. The victory not

    only gave the patriots time to regroup for the campaign that eventually led to Yorktown but also proved a

    major patriot victory in the vicious struggle for political allegiances in the south.”

    4) You don’t have to beat the occupational army — you just have to make it bleed money in huge gobs. By preventing the restoration of commerce –i.e, by killing anyone who collaborates with the occupational army in its attempt to establish a puppet government. That is how the terrorists Freedom Fighters … won the American Revolution.

  • Me @15:

    “Maybe Glennie Bek can find somebody from GM* to partner with in producing and distributing a line of Freeze-dried ammo.”

    I’ve been working on it, myself.

    I need somebody with mad photshoppin’ skilz to make the case/slug image of the copper jacketed .22 LR in this photo:

    match up with the case/slug image of the copper jacketed .45-70 in this photo:

    I’m sure that there is no shortage of gullible gunzloonz out there who would love to be able to carry a 1,000 rounds where they used to only be able to carry maybe 80-100. Anybody wants in on this, just let me know and I’ll set you up with my PayPal stuff @ One’

  • Oh, I almost forgot. To reconstitute the freeze-dried loads you’ll need a bottle of “Liberty Tree Blood-O-Tyrants”

    bullet rehydrator!