Crouse: They’re Gonna Lock Up Christians!

The downpour of delusional paranoia from the Christian right continues to be torrential. Janice Shaw Crouse has an almost perfunctory column in the Moonie Times — yes, she’s defending “traditional marriage” in a newspaper owned by a church that performs mass fixed marriages — with the usual blather:

These decisions repudiate — with a vengeance — the sacred trust of the Founders who built this great nation “under God” and on a foundation of Judeo-Christian principles that have stood the test of time.

Worse, the rulings warn of a future where Christians will have a choice: Keep silent about their faith or face not just being cast as a social pariah, but harsh retribution in the form of fines and imprisonment. It is hard to envision such an outcome, but the pivotal changes and losses of religious freedom and freedom of speech over the past few years portend a bleak future Christians must take seriously.

Fines and imprisonment? Try FEMA concentration camps, you weak-kneed appeaser! It’s almost like they’re just playing wingnut madlibs at this point. Just take a bunch of scary words, jumble them up and put them on the page. And they’ve managed to turn not getting their way into getting thrown into prison.

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  • grumpyoldfart

    And the hoi-poloi are saying, “Yeah, what she said.”

    Christians love playing the martyr – but they are rank amateurs compared to the Circumcellions.

  • John Pieret

    It is hard to envision such an outcome

    When even paranoids have trouble imagining it, it should be a hint.

  • Chiroptera

    Crouse: Keep silent about their faith or face not just being cast as a social pariah, but harsh retribution in the form of fines and imprisonment.

    Isn’t that what gay people used to have to endure?

  • Nemo

    losses of religious freedom and freedom of speech over the past few years

    Da fuq is she talking about?

  • illdoittomorrow

    “It is hard to envision such an outcome”…

    This is, like, meta. A) Yeah, it’s hard to imagine, but only if you live in the real world and not a paranoia-inspired fever swamp. B) She already did imagine it! What a maroon.

    The derp is strong in this one.

  • illdoittomorrow

    Nemo @4:

    Maybe sales are slipping at the Times? If opinions like hers aren’t getting the circulation they’re entitled to, they’re being oppressed!

  • dingojack

    Chiroptera – you mean that now those evul gheyz can get married just like the xtians; tians have the indignity of being persecuted just like the evul gheyz!

    See how nature balances itself.

    🙂 Dingo

  • Mr Ed

    I was at the local Fourth of July parade when just as the first flag past the man next to me sneezed. I’m his wife was acting out of habit and didn’t think but she just spouted out “Bless you.” At first it seem like a passing moment that no one even notice a faux pass that would be ignored but within five minutes two men in dark uniforms showed up. One had a “middle eastern” type beard and the talked to her for a minute or two before putting her in handcuffs and lead her away. The worst part was how the whole crowd of people pretend not to notice.

    Obama’s America

  • Al Dente

    They’re Gonna Lock Up Christians!

    “They” being Them, otherwise unidentified.

  • Nemo “Da fuq is she talking about?”

    1. Catholic notChurches have to cover ladyparts belonging to employees.

    2. Christian owners of notChristian businesses said some things about The Gays and were viciously not shopped at because of it.

    If that’s not “losses of religious freedom and freedom of speech” I don’t know what is.*


    * I don’t know what is.

  • dingojack

    Catholics ‘covering ladyparts’? It seems they were more into vigorously filling choirboy’s holes.


  • Judeo-Christian principles that have stood the test of time

    That’s a grossly arrogant assumption which becomes increasingly false over time.

  • skinnercitycyclist

    I draw the line at governmental harassment (imprisonment, etc.), but I am A-OK with pariahhood for her breed of bigot.

  • raven

    They’re Gonna Lock Up Christians!

    They are not going to bother.

    Fundie xians are already in prison. One of their own making.

    A mental prison made out of common items like ignorance and hate and maintained by that old tradition, the Demon haunted darkness.

  • Ellie

    Dear Ms. Crouse,

    Let me know when They lock up The Odious Phelps. Until then, I don’t think Christians (your kind or mine or anyone else’s) have anything to be concerned about in the least.

  • D. C. Sessions

    Catholics ‘covering ladyparts’? It seems they were more into vigorously filling choirboy’s holes.

    No, apparently the Catholic priesthood is not particularly discriminatory on which children they rape. The main reason that we mostly hear about the boys looks to be twofold:

    1) Opportunity. The priests just plain get more time alone with altar boys, not least because there aren’t any altar girls.

    2) As a society we are far more offended when we hear of boys being raped than when girls are.

    And no, I can’t cite sources. In fact, I doubt that there are quantitative sources. I’m going by the extremely unreliable incidence of news crossing my desktop, but I adjust by the relative attention that the “boys stories” and “girls stories” get, combined with what the Catholics I know tell me of the relative roles of girls and boys in their parishes.

  • You sometimes have to wonder if that crook Reverend Moon didn’t have some sort of psychic power, albeit one that only works on right wingers. After all the Washington Times has had a decades long run without being denounced as a front for devil worship, or whatever the fundies would consider the Unification Church if they had a clue.

  • Taz

    You scoff, but the fact is Christians are arrested every day in this country. The majority of people in American jails are Christian.

  • rabokarabekian

    Tumbrels for sale! Can’t round up the Christians without a tumbrel! They won’t get to those FEMA prison camps on their own. Low low prices and high quality products.

  • Myoo

    Pfff, these people are so behind the times. Jack Chick was already saying this kind of crap over 20 years ago. Time to step up your game, people.

  • timegueguen@17:

    Fundeglicals have shown an increasing willingness to overlook doctrinal differences that in previous generations, they would have gleefully burned people at the stake for. So long as they can find common cause in hating gays and lady parts, not just Moonies, but also Catholics and even (gasp!) Mormons are being given a seat at the table.