Ted Nugent for President?

Ted Nugent is apparently thinking of running for president, which I strongly encourage him to do. First, it will provide great fodder for me. Second, it would be the final culmination of the takeover of the Republican party by the crazy right.

“Hi, I’m Ted Nugent. I have nine children from seven women, and I’m running for president.”

Nugent takes a sip of water, having delivered his potential slogan.

“Yeah, I’m thinking about it.”…

“He’s talked about it before,” Shemane said. “But this time he seems more serious. People are constantly asking him to run.”…

Now, the constant beseeching from fans and followers has Nugent eyeing a run for the Republican nomination, the party he aligns with as the lesser of two feebles. (He is one of the few Republicans who will disparage Ronald Reagan, mainly for signing a bill restricting machine-gun sales.)

“Things are just so wrong in the country now,” Nugent said. “And I know that my answers would make things wonderful, unless you just refuse to produce, and then I’d recommend that you move to Canada. Or Illinois.”

He doesn’t predict a landslide. Or even a win. The country is probably too far gone for that, he said.

I’ve got a better slogan for him. “Hi, I’m Ted Nugent. I have nine children from seven women and I’m running for president. And I once talked two parents into giving me custody of their underaged daughter so I could keep having sex with her. And I shit my pants for a month to avoid the draft and insulted the troops that I now claim to support so strongly. And I said last year that I’d either be in jail or dead by this time, only the latest thing I’ve been completely wrong about.”

The sad thing? That might actually be an appealing message in a Republican primary.

"Yeah, like driving all those motherfucking snakes out of motherfucking Ireland!"

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