Klingenschmitt Spots More Demons

Man, Gordon Klingenschmitt is amazing. He has his handy dandy Green Lantern Demon Decoder Ring and he’s putting it to good use, spotting demonic spirits that are in possession of people he’s never met. The latest is Madonna, who is apparently controlled by a “spirit of adultery.” I think I’m possessed by a demon of amusement because I find this guy absolutely hilarious. And I think Madonna is possessed by a spirit of shitty music.


About Ed Brayton

After spending several years touring the country as a stand up comedian, Ed Brayton tired of explaining his jokes to small groups of dazed illiterates and turned to writing as the most common outlet for the voices in his head. He has appeared on the Rachel Maddow Show and the Thom Hartmann Show, and is almost certain that he is the only person ever to make fun of Chuck Norris on C-SPAN.

  • Larry

    … and horrible movies. Shitty music and horrible movies. Oh, and incompatible spouses. That’s three spirits: shitty music, horrible movies, and incompatible spouses.

  • raven

    Madonna is possessed by the demons of overexposure and publicity seeking.

    As are most of Hollywood and the music scene.

  • http://twitter.com/#!/VeritasKnight VeritasKnight

    What ever happened to free will?

  • dingojack

    Oh Fruity – what, didn’t she reply to the fan letter you sent in 1985?

    Quelle honte!


  • raven

    Klingenschmitt is possessed by the demons of boring repetition and laziness.

    It looks like, according to him, demons outnumber humans on earth, and actually run everything. Which means they are the dominant species, not us. And god let this happen which tells you who his favorite beings really are.

    My natal church didn’t even believe in demons. I never heard one single word about them. If demons do everything, it throws xian free will and personal responsibility right out the window.

    If demons determine our thoughts and actions, then why do we need a soul, and why are we judged for what our demons did? The whole idea collapses when you try to make sense of it, like most of xianity.

  • http://en.uncyclopedia.co/wiki/User:Modusoperandi Modusoperandi

    And I think Madonna is possessed by a spirit of shitty music.”

    Don’t help him!

  • dingojack

    “possessed by the demon of shitty music”?

    Geeze, that poor demon mustta been getting a hell of a work-out in the ’80’s!

    ‘Let’s get physical’ indeed.


  • exdrone

    What does Klingenschmitt mean at the end when he says, “I don’t think I’ll know another woman”? Is he outting himself, or is he declaring his potential for a future affair?

  • blf

    I think I’m possessed by a demon of amusement…

    The sky faerie of hilarity.

    I think Madonna is possessed by a spirit of shitty music.

    What “music” do you speak of, kimosabesky faerie of hilaritry?

  • dan4

    Uh, Gordo, Madonna isn’t married.

  • Al Dente

    Madonna’s demon of shitty music has migrated to Lady Gaga.

  • beelzebubba

    He should send her demon of shitty music into a herd of pigs. I mean who doesn’t want to see a couple hundred pigs singing Like a Virgin?

  • machintelligence

    “I don’t think I’ll know another woman”?

    This is the first time in modern times when I have heard “know” actually used if the biblical sense. As in: Adam knew Eve, and that was the beginning of all those begattings.

  • Pierce R. Butler

    Klingenschmitt has finally figured it out: every time he talks about demons, he gets a blog post from Ed Brayton.

    How could he possibly resist?

  • http://twitter.com/#!/TabbyLavalamp Tabby Lavalamp

    I like a lot of Madonna’s music.

  • http://timgueguen.blogspot.com timgueguen

    Gordo needs to get out more. Focusing on Madonna in 2013 is like focusing on Dean Martin in 1985. She isn’t particularly relevant at this point.

  • Michael Heath

    Ed writes:

    I think Madonna is possessed by a spirit of shitty music.

    But she’s also blessed with the angel of marketing. I hear it’s the twin to the one possessing Gene Simmons.

  • sezme

    Tabby @15 I like a lot of Madonna’s music.

    OK, who’s got that petition to send Tabby to the South Pole.

  • http://polrant@blogspot.com democommie

    “He should send her demon of shitty music into a herd of pigs.”

    “The Gadarene Swine” could be a rock band OR a b-b-q joint.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=153100784 michaelbrew

    It seems like the reconciliatory excuse for demons vs. free will is that people choose to commit some sin or even imagine it (since being pissed off at a person is the same as murdering them, apparently) and that invites the demons in to make things worse. It’s kind of like the dark side of the Force, that way.

  • Pingback: Frothing Nutjob Gordon Klingenschmitt, His Censorship Is My Censorship Too | Popehat()